Kindness Comes At A Price
by BehindTheMasqueradeMask
Summary: The world is now in a post-apocalyptic chaos, people turning on each other, monsters picking off the survivors one-by-one. A young woman makes a desperate deal which leads to the discovery of Terminus. But the road there is dangerous and unpredictable. No-one can afford attachments anymore...You're either the butcher or the cattle. Gareth/OC
1. Mistaken

**With the first episode of Series 5 released, I really wanted to make a backstory for Gareth. I don't know why exactly, he just seems to be a very interesting character and it's clear his role in The Walking Dead will be very high later on in the series, and with the flashbacks and everything, it gave me a clear idea on what sort of backstory I wanted.**

**of course all of this will be completely different to how it will be in the show, it was just an approach I made as I had nothing better to do then drown in my own tears after the Carol and Daryl hug as well as (nearly) everyone back together.**

**so, here you are.**

**I'm going to keep this T for now, but it may change later on depending on how the themes change. I will put warnings up if there is anything 'alarming' to some viewers. **

**disclaimer: I only own OCs.**

**With that done, on with the chapter...**

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><p><em>"We are all mistaken sometimes; sometimes we do wrong things, things that have bad consequences. But it does not mean we are evil, or that we cannot be trusted ever afterward."<em>

**_Alison Croggon_**

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><p>The smell was putrefying. The discoloured skin marked grotesquely with squirming white maggots, the tiny infestations that were the omen of decay, popped out of the rotten flesh that hung limply off the jaw of this stumbling, dead, <em>creature<em>. It was a bloated thing, the once grey all-in-one uniform now tattered and soaked in blood and flesh.

It had found its way into a garage, tools of every shape and size scattered on the floor, and when ever the creature's naked dead feet scrapped against one, it made a short _clink_ sound that seemed to echo through the building.

It was the bloodcurdling _moans_ that caused any alive human's heart to thump faster, for it was the raspy breathing that you heard first, or the deep growl of a savage beast once it's whitened eyes found you.

It was this sound, this creature of decay, that April loathed with all her heart.

There was no fear of being ravaged by it, no gut-renching ache that would have been felt by those who still saw these creatures as once human beings. April just hated them. They had destroyed everything she held dear to her heart, and thus, the said heart felt nothing for them.

She was a young women in her mid twenties, dark blonde hair straightened as it fell over her shoulders. A long sharp face with penetrating seaweed eyes that held less life than the creature in the garage with her.

A grey leather jacket covered her darker grey shirt that held curling patterns which were difficult to follow as mud and dried flaking blood covered them, also caking her black jeans in what other brown coloured atrocities she had collected over the weeks spent in this post-apocalyptic world.

What may have gone unnoticed by others, was a plastic dolphin that hung around her neck by black string, threatening to choke her it was so tight around her throat. But it didn't irritate her, it was more of a reminder, a reminder of when the world wasn't so fuelled by death and destruction, back when things were classed as _normal_ which seemed like such a long time ago.

Crouching behind a tool cabinet, looking through the bottom shelf's gap, she could make out the feet bending and stumbling towards the long unmovable Prius that was still hooked up high, the work never finished. She wanted to grab a wrench and smash it square into the forehead of the creature. Just for the satisfaction. Just for the thrill. Just to remove the guilt.

But it would cause too much noise, and noise was not on the survivors' side anymore.

She could hear the hanging flesh slap against its face. If it had been a week or so earlier it would have made her vomit, now, there was no emotion. She fought the desperate urge to grab the wrench that was so close to her fingertips as the creature began circulating back around, finding nothing it could chomp on, heading back out into the burning sunlight of autumn.

"That's right Meany, piss off somewhere else." She murmured quietly to herself, the inappropriate name causing her to smile the tiniest centimetre, but caused a twang in her mind at the memory of someone else, the one who named the creatures.

With it gone, she could scout a few weapons, seeing as she was running low on useful ones. Grappling the strap of her light brown satchel bag, she gently stood up and skimmed her hands over the ornaments on the shelves first, keeping an ear listening and an eye open for more Meanies.

The bag was hardly efficient and actually couldn't carry what she needed, but April had made a promise to never lose it, and even with things as they were, she was keeping that promise until the day she situation she was in, that day may have been closer than ever before. She needed food, weapons, medicine. But large groups had already scavenged everything before she was in a kilometre of the area. That was one of the dangers of being a lone survivor. You only got the scraps. Like a dog.

Groups didn't interest April in the slightest, just more mouths to feed and a higher risk of noise, and company was just..._vexing_.

April could have dry-laughed at the unused vocabulary, formal language wasn't needed anymore, simple terms and curses were as good as any. And honestly, the people she did meet were either brain dead hunters or skilfully sadistic, and neither were stimulating company.

April could truthfully say she missed her job, her old job. The one that had long hours and slow progressive success, or sometimes failure, which resulted in visits to court where a judge told her to do her job better, like they had the vast knowledge of Psychology better than she did, the petty hypocritical judges who looked down on anyone without connections to _royalty_. At least she could look forward to venting about everything when she returned home...

Home.

_H__ome_.

The nostalgic word made her stop abruptly, it was one she had refused to plague her mind in such a long time, that it sent bitter chills through her body.

Where was home?

Where were her sisters who had been apart for many years?

Where was her father?

Did anybody that she had known before everything went to crap survive?

Did Jim survive?

Was Kaitlyn with him?

_Kaitlyn_.

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><p><em>"Mommy, I want to be with you."<em>

_"You can't sweetie, work is keeping Mommy busy and you need to stay here with Jim."_

_"Promise you'll come back."_

_"Of course I'm coming back, I would never leave you alone."_

_"That's what you always say..."_

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><p>April suddenly found herself on her knees, leaning against the tilting cabinet for support.<p>

She was so young, barely eight. April was always trying to make up scenarios that meant her innocent, beautiful, angelic daughter was still alive somewhere. Jim who had been a father to her whenever she was in Atlanta, the same man who had looked after Kaitlyn through the divorce with her father, April's mistake of what she had believed to be a caring man.

_That_ sickened her.

How idiotic and naive she had been only eight years before, believing that Jason was the one she wanted to start a family with, oh how low could she have stooped. Giving up her sisters, her family, almost her future career for such a terrible excuse for a human being.

But she supposed, there were plenty of other Jasons in the world now.

It was moments like this, these moments of utter weakness where April questioned how she had survived this long, if at all. Sometimes, sharpened knives seemed so tempting against the skin of her wrists, or the cool metal of a gun against the side of her head. So addictive. Like a drug that never ceased to crawl its way into her mind.

She had to _stop_.

"She's out there, somewhere, she's _safe_." April instructed herself, but found her body was convulsing. Uncontrollable. It happened so fast. And yet was in slow motion.

Her grip on the cabinet slipped away as it began to topple forward, all the metallic tools falling before the rusted shelf itself, all of it sounding together like one big cringing orchestra as it fell with an echoing _crash_.

Startled growls sounding all around her, decaying heads popping up like disturbing meerkats as they scrambled towards the deafening noise.

_Shit, shit, shit, shit!_ April cursed hysterically as she tried desperately to grab onto something that could pull her up, but her legs were still liquified jelly, and it took an age to finally escape through a shattered window.

She was met with the sight of five Meanies around the corner, investigating the noise like the Meanies who were already in the minuscule town. She was out of sight enough to slip away unnoticed into the woods nearby, but only if she went at an agonisingly slow pace. She had to admit her heart was thumping now, the only other time it was ever pounding so rapidly was when it all started.

With tasteless sweat pouring off her forehead, she was about to enter the woods, when she realised she felt _lighter_ than usual. She had left the bag. Amy's bag which she had promised to never leave her side until she met up with her younger sister again. How bleak that time seemed now.

_I'm not leaving it, or she'll be haunting my ass until a Meany gets me. _April told herself with mild humour as she tentatively vaulted over the window, some of the glass that hadn't bothered her beforehand now scraped against her hands, causing splodges of crimson to drip silently. It wasn't painful, thankfully, but the blood was the least of her problems.

The Meany whom April successfully avoided earlier was the first to arrive in the garage, again. It gurgled and moaned like they always did, whitened eyes searching for whatever had made the loud noise, not enough brain cells to realise that the shelf had been knocked over. Luckily there was a counter top next to the window which did hide a little of her body, but not enough for her to go unnoticed.

With a silent hand reaching, she stretched for the satchel that was lying just in front of the fallen cabinet, biting her bottom lip so hard it threatened to slice through the thin flesh, but thinking about it was just a distraction. She gripped the strap, and was just about to haul it towards her when the Meany sniffed once and then spun around for dead eyes to meet green ones.

It targeted her.

With a short choking gasp she released the strap and instead snatched the wrench, standing up and flicking out a strong arm to stop the Meany from gnawing on her throat. It snapped its visible teeth, the stench never got easier to smell, nor did the sight of the maggots wriggling free and falling onto her face as she was pushed into the counter. Her arm shook violently, she was never that strong, but just strong enough to keep the Meany at bay long enough to raise the arm obtaining the wrench.

With a loud squelch the wrench made a large dent in the Meany's skull, causing blood splats and rotten flesh to drip onto April's jacket. But the Meany didn't stop, it kept on snarling and etching closer to her throat. With tears of rage staining her eyes, she brought the wrench down over and over again, pounding into the skull, cracking it, trying to make the critical impact into the brain.

April roared as the wrench finally found the brain, the Meany giving out one last lazy moan before slumping to the floor. April heaved, blood-stained wrench still raised and poised. It never got easier, even when she hated these monstrosities, it still _never_ got easier to slaughter them.

With a trembling arm, she wiped the remaining residue off her face, the leather bringing little relief to the sweat, flesh and blood that had contaminated her skin. She didn't care about the Meanies who were still growling outside. She dropped the wrench, blood droplets bouncing as it went clanging to the floor.

A flash of skin sparked in front of her eyes, suddenly, her scream was covered by a sweaty hand. She tried to break free, legs and arms flailing, but her captor had wrapped their legs around hers, meaning any struggle at all was futile.

"Shush...I'm not trying to hurt you." The male voice said in a rapid whisper. It admittedly didn't sound sinister, but deception was the way in the world now. April could feel the stale breath of the man brush against her ear. He was dragging her towards the window. To safety.

She instinctively bit his palm, the man's pained gasp meant he wasn't prepared for her to push away from him. She barged out of his arms and ran for the bag, that was all she wanted. The entrance to the garage was piled with Meanies, and April was forced to walk backwards. Straight into her captor.

He was still nursing his injured hand, and she realised that the tangy taste of blood was sour on her tongue. She couldn't get a good look at him, but brown hair was short and slightly greasy, short stubbles around his chin.

_Serves you right, asshole_. She thought angrily as she headed for the window once more, ignoring the man who only watched in vain as she vaulted over the broken window and sprinted for the woods.

She heard the distant shouts of a female, seeming to call for someone but she didn't stop to find out who...


	2. Negotiation

**Thank you so, so, so much for the amazing response of this. I was not expecting it at all, and am so glad you enjoyed the first chapter. **

**Though the whole Gareth/OC side of it might take a while, I'm going to keep the chapters rather short but not too short. I already have a few drafts set up before hand for once!**

**That new episode though! 0o0 **

**But thank you so much, and enjoy! ^.^**

**With that done, on with the chapter...**

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><p><em>"You have to persuade yourself that you absolutely don't care what happens. If you don't care, you've won. I absolutely promise you, in every serious negotiation, the man or woman who doesn't care is going to win."<em>

_**Felix Dennis**_

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><p>It had been a few days since the garage incident, and April was still mowing through the thick woods, eyes focused and sharp for any movement that seemed like a Meany stumble or a human bulk. She did always try to catch some rabbits, but being low on weapons, the best she had was in fact an embroidered knife she had obtained from a <em>spiritual<em> shop near her Psychologist work place.

She had no clue what the markings were, but the knife had saved her from multiple sticky situations. The hilt was made of wood, what particular wood was unknown but it hardly became dampened by rain or moisture, and the steel of the blade seemed sharper than any kitchen knife. Intricut markings swirled and formed patterns that resembled Chinease letters, one side jagged while the other was straight.

It was a good item to obtain at the start, and it was one that she kept on her at all times, placing the leather holder on her belt, gripping the hilt gave some comfort as she walked through the woods.

The early autumn meant the leaves were that beautiful yellowish orange, and they covered the forest floor and made it difficult to keep noise low. The flaming leaves crackled whenever a rabbit skidded atop them, same for whenever April would take one step and cringe at the comossion that seemed so much louder against her eardrums. Autumn used to be her favourite time of year, Summer was too hot and Winter was too cold, Autumn had this beauty of both, but now any season caused problems in survival.

April found herself thinking of the man in the garage quite often. Wondering. contemplating. Maybe she had been cruel to leave him there, but _he_ had grabbed _her_, defence was protocol for an attack like that. Whatever the reason he had, he obviously regretted it now.

The thing was, now she had no weapons, no food, and she had no idea where the next town would be. What if there wasn't another town for miles? She couldn't live off berries that long, water was scarce, and most animals were too fast to be caught. She couldn't exactly call herself a survival expert, but she was blessed with a father who showed his daughters _the truth of nature_ and also living relatively closely to the said wilderness. Honestly, she had been in worst situations, but if this carried on the way it was, it might become the worst one yet.

_There's bound to be another town, there always is._ She told herself as she climbed over a fallen tree. The stump held many circulating rings, and it brought back memories of when she used to count them all as a child, only to forget what number she was on, and start all over again. Those were also the times when her father's bellowing voice would echo through the forest, calling her name as darkness drew in. It was the time when Amy would question why she enjoyed being out in the forest so much, and when Andrea's name would be whispered in hushed voices.

Andrea was the eldest, there being twelve years between her and Amy, and April would be stuck in the middle of the two stubborn sisters. But she would give anything to have those days back, even the bad times would be a blessing.

April watched a passing squirrel clamber up a tree with a nut safely in his mouth. The easily startled species climbed up the tree effortlessly, almost mocking April who was stuck on the floor, only to watch this creature munch happily on the nut. How she wished she had a gun right then.

"That would stop you gloating, wouldn't it you little shit?" She told the squirrel, and wondered whether madness was taking over. But she was a professional psychologist, madness wasn't real, disorders were, but then there wasn't a disorder designed for post-apocalyptic trauma. At least, not yet.

She carried on walking and left the cocky squirrel to its food. A few hours later, she came to a small clearing. She steadily slid her way down a slight bank and when she reached ground level again, she realised it was a train track. Just a simplistic, rusting train track, the gravelly stones that surrounded the two metal bars that were once glistening white were now a dull, worn grey. April moved to stand in the centre, snapping her head to look down both ways, the tracks going for miles in each direction.

Was she to follow it? If so, which way?

The tracks clearly lead to somewhere, a possible place for supplies or even shelter. But, it would be a risk, the train tracks had no cover if she came across a herd or a group of survivors. Without weapons, she was a sitting duck.

A yell startled her, so much, she fell backwards as her feet tripped over the one set of tracks and her head impacted with the gravelled floor. It hurt. April was left dazed for a moment as the sunshine blinded her until her eyes were able to adjust and loosen the glare. Standing up as quickly as she could (causing her to topple a little but eventually balance caught up with her), April saw to her confusion that a man had cascaded down the same bank she had climbed down.

He lay there in the dirt, clutching his side, not even registering that she was watching him. Black curly hair gave him a very unkept look, then again, his simple clothing of a brown jacket, frayed red hoodie and combat-like trousers only added to it. He didn't seem like a threat but April hastily pulled out her knife and poised it at her side, just in case this was a trap of sorts.

"Ow" was all the mystery man said, and April noticed that he looked around mid twenties like herself. Thinking quickly, she stormed forward and towered above him and brandished her knife across his throat. His eyes now widened with fear, watching the blade intently before snapping them to her unsympathetic ones.

"No, no don't! I swear, I didn't mean to startle you!" He pleaded, shaking his head vigorously even though the knife was millimetres away from the skin that covered his Adam's apple.

"Why were you following me? How long?" She asked through sinister hisses, but the man seemed too incompetent to be a threat. He swallowed, and she could see he was trembling violently as he tried to choke out words.

"W-we weren't f-following you, I s-swear. Please, just don't kill me!" He begged as tears began to collect in his fear-stricken eyes. But now she was more worried herself, the persons in which he spoke was not what she wanted to hear.

"_We_? Who else is following me?"

"Us"

April looked up the bank, and found that a woman and a familiar man was staring down at her. The woman looked frail and elderly. Possibly late forties. A long skirt covered her legs, and April could almost applaud her for the non-practical clothing, but at least the grey would keep her better hidden. Again, simpleness seemed to be a continuum as her grey jumper and a darker brown cardigan covered the rest of this elderly woman.

Her eyes flicked between April and the man below her, and she did seem to hold emotions for the man.

But it was the one next to the woman that caused the most friction and distrust. The brown hair. The short stubbles. It was the same one from the garage, and it seemed he remembered too as he lifted a bandaged hand.

"Believe this was your handy work?" He asked sarcastically with a hint of ice, not addressing the situation of his friend being potentially killed by having his throat slit. Or because he knew she wouldn't do it, but how could he, he knew nothing about her.

"Rule one: never grab girls from behind. It's high school basics." She replied with spitting venom, adjusting her grip on the knife as she kept it close to the man's throat, hearing him whimper was _vexing_.

The man studied her, then leisurely dropped his hand and began to slide down the bank; only for the woman to roughly grab his arm, warning him to stay put, but the silent warning was ignored as he shook himself free and carried on.

Feeling somewhat cornered, April yanked the man up by his hoodie and turned him to face his fellow friends, knife still poised to his throat; he was close to having a spasm attack as his breath became hoarser.

"All I have to do is flick." April warned, the man rolling his eyes but stopping abruptly, raising his hands to show a type of surrender to her threatening tone.

"He doesn't have to die for being an idiot." He negotiated, taking the tiniest step forward, but April just countered it by moving one backwards.

"Hey!"

"He does have a point." April murmured, her victim giving out an exasperated breath before gasping as April dug the tip of the knife to draw the slightest trail of blood. "Fine. But only if you tell me why you've been following me, and why you attacked me in that garage." April compromised, and it seemed acceptable terms as the man agreed to it, though neither wanted to back down first.

"Gareth didn't attack you, he was trying to help you get away from the Cold Bodies." The woman who was still perched on the bank explained, seeming to hold very little emotion for April, then again, she was threatening to kill someone who April could piece together as her son, same as the one named Gareth.

Cold Bodies? That was what they called them? Then again, April couldn't exactly talk as she called them a much more childish name.

"I would've been fine, I just needed my bag and I could have gone. That whole incident could have been easily avoided if _you_ hadn't grabbed me." April hissed with poison, Gareth seeming to scoff quietly to himself.

"I guess you're right, just more trouble than what it's worth huh?" He countered, the air frosty even though the sun was reaching its peak in the sky.

"But then why still follow me?" She questioned, still very much distrusting of these three, especially Gareth who studied her with a mixture of loathing and boredom.

"That was actually unintentional. We were following the tracks, just like you." Gareth explained, taking a few more steps forward.

"Because you think it will lead somewhere?" April asked cautiously, not bothering to take steps backwards as it was useless; she had no idea what weapons Gareth had, he could just pull out a gun if he really wanted to. This could just be a game to him, to test what she would do, and then shoot her before she could even bring the knife across the man's throat.

Gareth analysed her once more, seeming to pick away at her expressions. Her clothes. Her _desperation_. He had to admit she was attractive, in a Barbie sort of way, the blonde hair didn't disguise her intelligence though. She was cautious, smart, and clearly knew which questions to ask.

This would be interesting.

"They're train tracks, what do you think?" He snorted, but loosened his defensive attitude as he stopped moving forward, Alex pleading for him to do something. But they couldn't both go for the same destination, and it was obvious a team up wasn't on the menu and Gareth was glad of that. So far, it had only been himself, Mary and Alex...and he was hoping to keep it that way.

"If you let me go...we can, we can find out where it leads together!" Alex shouted hysterically, and Gareth tightened his jaw, sometimes wishing his brother wasn't such a chatterbox and kept his mouth _shut_.

"Sorry, but I don't do sharing." April said with acid, purposefully digging the blade into his throat, causing another tiny trail of blood to run down his neck. Gareth scoffed in response.

"Well, that's pretty obvious." He grumbled, but knew the negotiations were going nowhere. He swallowed roughly, his throat dry from lack of quenching water, saying that, nearly all of them hadn't had a decent drink or meal for quite some time. They were all hungry and angry, that wasn't a good combination when negotiating a man's life, even one as clumsy as Alex's.

"If the train tracks do lead somewhere, and that is a bleak _if_...then you can take the food and medicine, but we have the shelter." Gareth finally finished. The exchange wasn't a very fair one, but fairness wouldn't work with this situation at all, they had to pick what was needed most, and shelter was definitely at the top.

April thought on the offer for a moment, tightening her grip on the knife. It was a good offer, food and medicine, shelter was promising but not as important as food. He was good. She had to admit that.

With a hefty sigh, she swiftly moved the knife away and pushed Alex forward, only for him to fall to the floor and cough on the dirt that had entered his mouth, dust bellowing around his face.

"Deal" April said simply.


	3. Trust

**Thank you once again for the phenomenal response of this!**

**BlaBlah6 ~ I do hope there are more stories for him (better than mine XD). I think it's just because he's new, so hopefully in a few more episodes there will e many more. **

**But I am very flattered by all of your amazing reviews, thank you so much ^.^**

**Also I know I've updated this early, but I have about six chapters already set up. Thing is, really struggling for ideas now XD**

**with that done, on with the chapter...**

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><p><em>"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough."<em>

_**Frank Crane**_

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><p>The newly established group had been walking along the train tracks for a good few hours, a steady pace as the woman, Mary, was rather slow with her age. Alex and Gareth remained up ahead while April chose to stand beside Mary, precaution in case she needed another hostage. What better hostage than the boys' mother?<p>

Gareth was the leader, April knew that much by how he walked purposefully and carried the large backpack on his shoulders. The boys must have cared for Mary, just by the fact she carried nothing, Alex carrying a slightly smaller bag on his shoulders, though both seemed close to empty.

April hadn't stopped gripping the hilt since the departure.

"How did you end up alone?" Mary's almost kind voice asked, to which April replied without even a short pause.

"I was with this family near the start. We were on the motorway but got trapped by a herd. Pretty sure you can figure out the rest." April said with a slight hitch in her voice, the family being a British one on holiday. There wasn't a worst time to be away from home.

"How did you escape?" Mary asked again, but it seemed more out of conversation than curiosity, though she probably wanted to know what sort of woman April was. Her tone did hold a hidden poison, and April noted it for future reference.

"One of the children pulled me under a car, or more, he grabbed by foot and I nearly hit my head on the car's window. Me and him, we survived for a bit after, but losing his family was too much. He just. Gave up." April finished, eyes casting to the floor as not to let Mary have the satisfaction of seeing the tears in April's eyes.

Toby was only ten, but apparently horror films had taught him some surviving techniques. After his family, April could see that the spark was gone in his eyes, he didn't want to survive anymore. What child could? Seeing your family be eaten by these creatures was heartbreaking enough, but being left with only a stranger for company?

That was torture.

"It seems people are doing that a lot these days." Mary commented, and April huffed an imaginary laugh.

"The religious people think it's a disease from God, others think it's a government experiment gone wrong, or people are still hoping it's just one big prank on the world. Those fuckers are delusional. This is the world now. You don't trust anyone. You're either the butcher or the cattle." April said unemotionally, and noticed that Gareth's head had turned an inch when she had finished her less than moving speech.

Mary stared at this hopeless woman beside her, and she could see right past the threats and seemingly emotionless shell. She could see the _mother_ in her.

"We're trusting you and you are trusting us. At least, to some extent. We are equally hoping that there's a light at the end of the tunnel." Mary replied wisely, but still, April could only choke a laugh at the delusional woman.

"There's no hope, there's no light. There's just surviving long enough to see this through, and even that's becoming a slimmer notion every day."

"Maybe, but as long as there's kindness in the world, there's hope."

_Kindness_, what kindness could possibly be seen now?

April was not finding the conversation an interesting one, but it was making the air less frosty as Alex seemed to gradually stop scratching at the marks on his neck. She would have apologised, but she didn't feel like they deserved that weakness from her yet, let alone trust.

"We should start to think about finding a place to camp, don't you agree?" April called to Gareth, who took a moment before answering her, possibly to hide his irritation.

"We can last a bit longer, it's not sunset yet." He replied through gritted teeth, but April could see how he kept holding his bandaged hand in a pained way.

"Mary can't walk much farther though. I'm only being kind, _Gareth_." April said, with a hint of cockiness she didn't expect herself to show. But it was clear by his seething that April had touched a nerve, or perhaps how she emphasised his name had added to it.

"We'll stop when I say." He growled, however, only a few minutes later they stopped by a brick house that was situated by the side of the tracks. It had a wooden porch with an added shelter above it, something that would be useful if someone was to keep watch.

"Here's as good as any." Gareth muttered to himself, dropping the backpack off his shoulder and stretching a little, Alex doing the same before the two walked towards the house.

"Boys" Mary called with slight fearful edge, the two turning to her "wouldn't it be better to let..." She trailed off, obviously waiting for April to fill in her name as it hadn't even been mentioned yet.

"April" she said gruffly.

"_April_, go in and make it safe?"

Alex glanced between Gareth and April, though he seemed a little unsure about the name, as if it didn't fit the feisty woman's personality. Gareth only focused on Mary, as if pleading for her to not make him say it. She only crossed her arms.

"Sure, if we hear screams then we know not to go in." Gareth replied with a sly smirk appearing on his face as April stormed forward, glaring at him with an equally icy look.

"You won't hear any screams from _me_."

"We'll see, Barbie."

He would pay for that later...April would make sure of that.

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><p>There were only three Meanies or Cold Bodies to contend with. A swift knife through the skull did the trick and April was able to give the place a further investigation. It looked to be one of those houses where the father of the house would work on the train lines, while the rest of the family did what they did day in and day out.<p>

Luckily the place hadn't been pillaged yet, most of the items seemed untouched, minus the family who had lived there before the outbreak. April found herself in a living room, and the place resembled a nineteen-forties household. Simple brown couches, multicoloured furry rugs covered the stone flooring, wooden drawers held rows of framed photos of smiling people, and April found herself drawn to them.

She walked over and gently picked one up, and stared solemnly. A husband, wife and a young boy who looked like he was nearing fourteen. They were standing outside on the train tracks, the boy wearing his father's working cap as it covered his eyes, but a smile was clearly visible on the teenager's face. The husband and wife were kissing, passionately, and it seemed the cap was meant to be hiding the loving embrace.

April couldn't help the smile that hung heavily on her face. She placed the frame down gently and skimmed over the living room, finding only a shattered mirror was hung up above a long unused fireplace. There was no radiators or any sort of electrical objects except for the light bulbs bare above her, though they held no light in their glass casing.

April found herself standing beside the fallen shards of the mirror, so she crouched down and picked one up, studying it in her hand. It was sharp, a good weapon...maybe Mary would feel comfortable with it more than her. She rolled her eyes at her own thinking, she wasn't there to help the three, she was only there for the deal at the end.

Nonetheless she kept the shard in her hand and stood up again, only to see the reflection of Gareth in the pieces that remained inside the mirror's frame. She turned, startled, but saw that there wasn't a sneer on his face, just an emotionless stare. It was silent for a painfully long time.

"I'll check upstairs." Gareth finally spoke, breaking the silence before disappearing, his footsteps quiet on the wooden steps. April didn't mean to let out a relieved sigh, but she did, before following Gareth towards the stairs. Only, she didn't go up after him, but carried on towards a set of double wooden doors. A band of some sort was wrapped around the two black doorknobs, more than likely to keep something inside.

April decided it was best to leave it for now.

By the time Gareth came back down again (footsteps heavy once the threat of Meanies was over), April was just about to step outside to let Mary and Alex know it was clear. He walked purposefully, ignoring her completely until bitter words fell off his lips.

"All clear upstairs."

April swallowed her pride and stepped forward.

"Gareth wait." She ordered, and admittedly he stopped as soon as the words were in the air. He didn't turn to her, or make a snide remark, he just stared out of the front door and to whatever he was staring at to avoid her eyes that were analysing him.

"Why _did_ you try to save me, in the garage?" She asked carefully, the question running through her mind ever since she had sprinted into the woods days before, and now seemed a good time to acknowledge it.

Gareth bowed his head, exhaustion now overwhelming him as he had been keeping his brother and Mary alive ever since it all went to shit. He didn't mean to show his tiredness now, not in front of her, but the question was one he had been searching for a suitable answer since they had set off down the train tracks.

And he wasn't sure if he even had one.

"I don't know." He replied truthfully "I was searching for food when I heard the crash, I don't know why I went to check it out, I just found myself there at the window. I saw the Cold Body before I saw you, thinking I would just slip away, but then you were there, trying to grab that stupid bag. And all I could think, was why anyone would risk their life for a _bag_ of all things. I guess, I wanted to be the hero instead of the leader for once. And all it earned me was a screwed up hand and an extra mouth to feed." He explained bitterly, now turning to her with dull eyes. They weren't even spiteful or accusing, just, _tired_.

"The bag was my sister's, Amy, she'd kill me if I lost it." April replied with a light laugh, knowing that the statement meant nothing now, there were plenty of other things that would kill her first.

"Is your sister worth that much to you? To get yourself killed?" Gareth asked, and it seemed like such a monstrous question, especially considering that his family was just outside, though April doubted he cared whether they heard him or not.

"Family means nobody gets left behind...or forgotten." April whispered, the inside joke agonising because it was Kaitlyn's favourite film. Gareth actually chuckled, and it seemed like such an alien sound, that April wondered whether he had laughed at all since the beginning. Then again, she hadn't either, not properly.

"Leelo and Stitch." Gareth said thoughtfully. "You're into that fairy tale bullshit?"

"Takes one to know one." April countered, and Gareth seemed slightly impressed at her quickness, though he would never openly admit it.

"Touché. We better get Mary and Alex in here before night fall." Gareth said in his emotionless tone once more, abandoning the moment as his eyes flickered to the floor and not at April.

"Why don't you call her mom?"

"Because she isn't our mother." Gareth said sourly as he disappeared out of sight. Mary would have heard him, so would've Alex.

Apparently the night would be frosty for more than one reason.


	4. Kindness

**This will be the last unscheduled update for a while, I promise I will get to an eventual one chapter a week deal.**

**ALSO ALREADY OVER A THOUSAND VIEWS. THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

**Im actually in the middle of writing chapter 11 right now, I can't wait for your reactions to what has happened to this point! But I will say I might already be thinking about a sequel of sorts, though I cant give out any information yet. **

**Either way, thank you so so so much for the continually out of this world response to this. I know i say that all the time but it means the world that you do enjoy my stories although I feel I really could expand further and that it's just not to a high standard. So thank you so much for the continued support ^.^**

**I really believe they could have taken Gareth's character much farther, in light of that, I'm hoping that this story and the maybe sequel will get to the point of Season 5 episode 3 and alter a few things. Taking one chapter at a time XD**

**this has been too long.**

**with that done, on with the chapter...**

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><p><em>"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love."<em>

_**Lao Tzu**_

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><p>The bitter chill of the night drew in just as Mary finally lit the fire inside the fireplace, using the glass shards to create a spark just long enough for the coals to come alive with the sizzling orange of a newly burning flame. Within minutes the dampened living room was brought to life by the reddening flames that danced and crackled.<p>

Alex had taken residence on one of the couches, displaying his rather short body along it, his arm being a headrest for his head as his eyes continually glanced over April. She was hot, in that dangerous, out-of-his-league sort of hot. He was still wary of her nonetheless, the small cuts along his Adam's apple only beginning to flake with healing, the blood trail he hadn't bothered to clean now caused a slight irritant on his skin.

Mary had cleaned up all the glass shards beforehand, them lying in a pile beside the metal pokers that leaned against the fireplace's cold stone foundations. Mary sat close to the fireplace, jabbing it every so often with one of the pokers, attempting to warm her creaking bones as April watched from the far wall.

She was watching the two silently, leaning against the open doorway as not to be directly inside the room. It was better that way. She didn't exactly feel entitled to the warmth of the fireplace anyway. She had offered the glass shard to Mary, but the stubborn woman had denied it sweetly, saying how she would only acquire a weapon when she believed they couldn't protect her anymore.

April didn't even know she _was_ protecting her.

The events of earlier that day was still fresh in everyone's minds, especially Gareth's remark towards Mary, although the woman pretended to not know about it, there was clear pain in her eyes. April didn't want to ask, it was none of her business what ties the three had together, she had to remember that. She had to remember she wasn't joining them, getting _attached_ to them, she would leave just as soon as she had the food and medicine she needed.

At least that was what she told herself repeatedly.

She left the two to lounge in front of the fire and walked out onto the porch. It was a briskly cold night, causing fog to wisp in front of her mouth whenever she breathed out, but it wasn't too cold as to give them frostbite. She rested her arms on the wooden banisters, not one hundred percent sure they would take her weight, but they did and she listened to the crickets that chirped all around.

There were no moans, no stumbling feet...it was almost _normal_.

"You should get inside."

Once again, Gareth's unannounced presence shook her. She whipped around to see he had found the bench that was prepped up against the brick walls of the house, eyes staring out onto the landscape like she had done.

"You'll get cold." He finished.

April snorted and went over to sit next to him, finding the bench was comfier than how it looked. She leaned back and rested her head on the brickwork, the sand-like crumbles scraping against her hair but it didn't bother her, resting her weary head was worth the mild discomfort.

"No more than you will." She replied, and they found themselves in silence once more as they stared out into the night. The trees wavered slightly in the breeze, tranquilly so, the stars shining above them as the only beauty left untainted by the apocalypse.

"Alex has a thing for you, can't imagine why considering." Gareth enlightened, but April had already noticed the long looks at certain areas of her body, he wasn't exactly subtle about it.

"I've noticed." She mumbled.

"My brother has always been like that, thinking more down _there_ than with his brain. Though I don't think he's ever had a steady relationship, probably has less of a chance now more than ever." Gareth uttered, though it didn't really seem to be directed at her, more as an open observation.

Maybe he didn't have many conversations with Mary and Alex, at least ones not resolving around food, shelter or protection. Nothing that could be considered stimulating, who knows what pressures were on his shoulders before she had decided to make her mark on his palm.

"He maybe a horny idiot, but it's so much better than an emotionless psychopath." April pointed out, and Gareth seemed to agree with a short _hmm_ sound.

"At least an emotionless psychopath wouldn't fall down a bank." Gareth muttered, but April could only sigh wearily.

"Physically maybe, mentally not so much."

"How would you know?" He challenged, but it wasn't with the acid like before, they had got past that barrier at least, civil was becoming a closer target.

"Before all this, I was a psychologist, or at least I had an internship. You can learn a lot about people from their mind, their emotions. I don't even know why I chose to work with people, I never really saw people as something interesting. But helping them made it better." April explained, remembering how difficult it was to get the right grades, get into college and university, all of it now wasted.

"What could you learn about me?" Gareth asked tentatively, and suddenly the air around them became thick, April finding it rather difficult to breathe. She shrugged the question off, knowing what she said could take a turn for the worst.

"Let's not, I know from experience stuff like this can turn ugly pretty damn quickly."

"It's not like I'm going to kill you just for having an opinion on me, I'm sure I haven't made the best one anyway. Come on, humour me." He dared, and April wasn't sure what he was trying to get from this. She gripped the edge of the bench, digging her nails into the splinters as she inhaled before beginning her analysis.

"You're smart. You don't like stupid people, you don't like boring people and you certainly don't like people who try and tell you what to do...you have a problem with authority. You like to play by your own rules. And even though you keep calling Alex an idiot and pretend he's worth nothing to you, you would do anything to protect him. And Mary. Mary isn't your mother, but you see her as one even though you again deny it to yourself. You think she'll become extra baggage rather than extra help, and that it would be better if she was bitten because you can't bring yourself to abandon her. Have I missed anything?" April asked, although she was anxious as to how Gareth would take what she said.

He just stared at her, difficult to read, but the fact he wasn't cursing at her was enough to know he didn't want to kill her. Their eyes were transfixed for ages, before Gareth swallowed the lump in his throat and spoke lowly.

"Almost perfect, but you didn't mention how I saw _you_." He pointed out the obvious, because she was avoiding the subject, mainly because she had no clue as to how he saw her at all.

"Tell me." She challenged, but he was already prepared for it.

"You're smart, and you know it. You're pretty, and you know that too. What sort of man would I be if I didn't acknowledge that? But you're not focused on surviving, at least, not completely. You're thinking about someone, and it isn't that British family you were talking about." Gareth said slowly, his own deductions were impressive, but a judge of character was a necessary skill now.

April looked away, hands fumbling together as she contemplated whether to say it or not.

"My daughter, Kaitlyn, she was with a friend in Atlanta when the outbreak started. Everyday I just hope she's alive somewhere, with people that want to help her. But sometimes I get these horrible thoughts, that she's cut off from caring people, and is being hurt by others. I know. Because I've seen these groups of men who don't give a crap, because now they can do exactly how they please. Sometimes, I hope that she died with little pain, just so that she wouldn't be in this fucked up world, and to just remember how it used to be."

April was close to tears, just the thought of never seeing her precious girl again, that she had broken the promise that she would return for her, shattered her over and over again. April laughed the tears off, wiping them away as a hand clutched around the plastic dolphin, the smooth texture reminding her how much Amy loved dolphins. Or was it mermaids?

"You have no idea how lucky you are to have your family with you. Some of us are not so lucky." She choked, pushing herself off the bench to rush back inside.

"Wait" Gareth said with urgency, and April stopped, but didn't turn to face him as she didn't want the newly falling tears to show. "I hope she died peacefully too." He said simply, but she had never been so grateful for the kind words. She looked at him briefly with a small smile, not even caring that she was showing weakness.

"Thanks. You're still an asshole though."

He huffed a chuckle.

"I can't argue with a psychologist." He replied, before April left to join the other two in the living room. When she entered, Alex was snoring distastefully loudly, and Mary was still tending the fire. April walked in and simply lay down on the fur rug below Alex's couch, finding it was comfier than some of the places she had been before.

She watched the dancing flames, the heat radiating from it was just the right temperature, not enough to cause a headache, but not too little to cause a chill to still wash over her body. In fact, she could have quite easily fallen asleep, but footsteps and a shadowy mass appeared in her vision. Gareth stood by the drawers which held the photos, and it seemed he was looking at them, though April couldn't see what expression he had.

Eventually he turned and saw her lying on the floor, their eyes meeting for a moment before he disappeared soundlessly out the room again. She thought he would stay long enough to keep warm, but didn't argue with him, it would be useless to do so.

"I'm not angry about what Gareth said, it was only the truth." Mary spoke, though she kept her voice low. "I'm not their mother, and I never will be, but I made a promise to their true mother that I would protect them no matter what. And if that means suffering Gareth's comments, being past exhausted, or even murdering someone in cold blood...I wouldn't miss a heartbeat." She voiced, staring into the heart of the fire, and April was a bit fearful of the demonic flames in her eyes. But it was only the reflection of the flames in the fireplace, this woman may have been great with words, but she hardly looked as if she could kill someone in cold blood.

Then again, no-one was sure of what anybody could do anymore.

Mary fell silent as footsteps returned. Suddenly a blanket was draped over April's body, she looked up to see that Gareth was doing the same for Alex, leaving a third one crumpled up beside Mary as he stood towering above her for a moment. His hand rested on her shoulder, and April could clearly see that he was gripping it lightly.

"We'll make it...all of us." He said purposefully, the red lighting illuminating his face. For the first time, April could see the look of a leader, of someone who wouldn't give up without a fight. She could respect him for that. But she also feared how far he would truly go, if Mary would go as far as murder, how far would Gareth go?

She shunned the thoughts away, pulling the corner of the blanket so that it wrapped around her tighter, trying to keep as much warmth in as possible.

"Thank you, Gareth." She said gratuitously before closing her eyes, never hearing whether Gareth had answered her or not, as she was finally allowed luxurious uninterrupted sleep. She had no idea when she would get another, and so, she savoured every second of it.


	5. Fear

**_Tomorrow is the last day before I return to school...so I'm spamming this chapter because why not?_**

**_Thank you once again for the amazing responses and reviews, you spoil me way too much!_**

**_Also I've changed the cover image because I've altered the actress April is based upon from Katie Cassidy to Candice Accola because I thought it fitted better. _**

**_With that done, on with the chapter..._**

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><p><em>"I truly believe that everything that we do and everyone that we meet is put in our path for a purpose. There are no accidents; we're all teachers - if we're willing to pay attention to the lessons we learn, trust our positive instincts and not be afraid to take risks or wait for some miracle to come knocking at our door."<em>

_**Marla Gibbs**_

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><p>April awoke just as piercing light rays shone strips into the darkened living room. The brown blanket that was still wrapped around her like an impenetrable cocoon, reminded her of Gareth's kindness. Maybe Mary was right, maybe there were still small cases of kindness in the world. But it wouldn't last long. Everything falls into chaos eventually.<p>

She quietly stretched and them clumsily stood up, blood rushing to her head which caused the room to become a spinning frenzy for all of a second, and then cleared like a short rain shower. April groaned, her bones clicking as they grounded together like a large wheat grinder.

Why did sleep make her feel so much older?

The question subconsciously reminded her of Mary, who had taken residence on the floor opposite to where April had been lying only moments before. The woman wheezed heavy breathes, but it didn't worry April, although it was a nightmarish sound that distinctively sounded like a Meany.

Alex was still snoring and April was almost tempted to shove a pillow over his face. She doubted it would work anyway. Instead, she wandered out of the room, unstiffening her joints as her eyes targeted the double doors again. Feeling somewhat curious as common sense hadn't woken yet, April cupped a hand over her ear, pressing it against the wood, a short shiver washed over her from the coldness that touched her ear.

No sound resided from inside. Strange.

A hand fell to her side, but the fabric of the familair hilt didn't glaze over her fingers. She would have to find it later, more likely still in the living room. April wasn't idiotic though, she wouldn't open the doors until she was fully alert and was furnished with a weapon.

But where was Gareth?

April wondered whether had had any sleep at all, the likely answer was no, but it wasn't her place to scold him for it. She quickly walked out onto the porch, the early morning breeze hitting her and flipping hair strands to fly for a second, the purplish orange of sunrise was beginning to win its battle against the darkness, engulfing layer upon layer of land until only the far distance remained ruled by the bleak blackness.

Gareth was not on the bench, nor did any signs of his hipster haircut appear on the tracks or further into the Autumn woods. She assumed he wasn't out hunting already, then again, did he know how to yet? The questions only ached her still rebooting brain, and so, headed back inside to have a try looking upstairs.

She gripped the chipped wooden banister tightly, in case one of the steps was loose or if she just fell over her own feet, however it was unneeded as she reached the upper floor without any trips or injuries. There were only three doors, all identical with the same wood-colouring as the banister. Only three rooms to check.

She started with the one closest to her right, but found it was only a tiny bathroom. The bathroom did smell relatively clean, the sink a vintage basin with brass taps. April shrugged her shoulders and turned them, no such luck, no water spiralled out of the taps and it slightly dampened her spirits at the original excitement of washing her face.

Nonetheless, she carried on her search and crossed the hallway to another door. Only, as soon as she opened it flies surrounded her and she was forced backwards, a loud orchestra of buzzing swamped her as the little black creatures bounced off her face, hands lifting up desperately to avoid the onslaught. But the little things were the least of her problems, for a pungent smell of decay wafted out of the door that was only open a crack.

It made April heave.

She coughed a few times, and then held her breath as she fully opened the door, pulling the knife gently out of the holder. The knife would not be needed. Her eyes scanned from one side of the wall to the other, only, they stopped as soon as they focused on a king-sized bed with floral patterns ruined by blackened blood.

Two corpses in a fearful embrace huddled together, though it was difficult to determine who was who as flies had infiltrated many of the rotten holes, infesting them with white eggs that hatched into a plague of squirming maggots. Not much flesh was left now, perhaps only a layer as pieces of white bone were visible, however the internal organs were still very much on show as they clumped together in the centre of the two, causing a huge disgusting mound of intestines and whatever other organs were found near the stomach.

A simple black handgun rested on the pillow between the two, possibly still being gripped by the husband. With the added putrid stench, April vomited as she fell to her knees. She wasn't prepared to see _that_. She could only guess that the couple were the same ones in the photograph on the chest of drawers, the only question was, where was the boy?

April tried not to think about it. Focusing on stopping the dry-heaving as there was no tasteless vomit to throw up, which proved just how little food or drink she had ingested in a very long time. Her legs were too weak for her to stand, and so, she remained on her knees for a few moments, the buzzing of flies still echoing around the hellish room.

A gentle hand gripped her shoulder lightly, but April didn't shudder or be startled by the touch.

"This is why you looked at the photo, wasn't it?" April asked hoarsely, the hand on her shoulder flinched.

"Were you taught to remember people how they were, not how they are when they die?" Gareth countered, the riddling question causing April's head to spin again. Truthfully, no. She was only taught that death was death, you couldn't stop it, it was just a thing that was part of life, and in the end everyone greeted death, willingly or not.

"But you didn't know them." April pointed out, trying to stand up for only Gareth to grab her arms before she toppled again. It was awkward, but Gareth discarded it as he lead her slowly out of the room, shutting the door behind him so that the terrible stench eventually evaporated. In the end, April decided it was easier to just lean against the door instead of Gareth's hands holding her steady.

April used an old technique from her college days, breathing in and out in steady counts of eight, eyes firmly closed although the image inside the room pulsated hatefully in her mind.

"Just because I didn't know them...doesn't mean I can't remember them. Hell, we could make this place a home, but whatever is at the end of these tracks must be something bigger, it _has_ to be." Gareth emphasised, meaning he was only wishing it was better than the house, didn't mean it would be. Chance. Everything was just chance now.

"Look, if I didn't think it was big then I wouldn't have made the deal with you." April replied in a slur that resembled someone who was drunk, and it seemed to humour Gareth as he huffed his small chuckle.

"Even if you hadn't made the deal, I would ha-"

A high-pitched scream from downstairs cut Gareth off.

Suddenly April was completely alert again, both sets of eyes bulging as a thunderous crash seemed to shake the whole house. Gareth sprinted down the stairs with April following closely behind, only to stop abruptly in shock as Alex wrestled a stick-like creature. It was a Meany, the typical raspy moans and white eyes were still the same, but the body, there was no rotten meat at all, just cracking bones and long lines of what could only be unused veins.

It was atop Alex, who continually screamed as he tried to keep the Meany from biting his face. Gareth wasn't moving though, he didn't even flinch, hands gripping the wall and the sodden banister. April couldn't believe he was just standing in front of her, doing _nothing_ to save his _brother_. She barged past him, almost knocking him to the floor as April ran for the living room, searching for a nearby object she could use as a weapon.

Mary was sobbing, hands covering her petrified face as she huddled against Alex's couch, tears streaming as she watched Alex struggle and call for help. April ignored her, snatching the poker from out of the fireplace. Holding it steady, she aimed the iron poker at the Meany's forehead and jabbed it with full force, the squelch of the tip slicing through the shrivelled skin to reach the brain was foul. She pushed and pushed until the sharpened iron tip poked through the other side, spraying bits of brain all over the floor.

The Meany looked melancholily at her, as if there was something human behind the white eyes. But there wasn't. There never would be again. The Meany slowly faltered it's moaning until silence filled the once panicked house as April let the poker go.

At least, they now knew where the boy was.

Alex gasped, pushing the Meany off him so that it crashed to the stone floor, sounding like a Halloween skeleton.

He rolled over and vomited a clear liquid onto the stone slabs, April looking away even though she had been doing the same only moments before. She wondered whether he had encountered a Meany so close before, so close to actually infecting him.

Mary bustled past April and wrapped her arms around Alex as he was still heaving, looking to April with a more than grateful expression.

"Thank you." She whispered, tears still pouring from her eyes as she held Alex closer. April wore a sombre smile for all of second before it disappeared again.

Stomping footsteps rushed upstairs and April turned to see Gareth's jacket bellow swiftly out of sight. She ignored her angry thoughts and sprinted upstairs after him, hearing him slam the farthest door, the one she hadn't checked.

She slowed down by the time she reached the end of the hallway, pushing the door gently as her head peaked around the corner. Gareth was sitting on a single bed, the covers clearly a boy's sheets as they were a deep blue ocean. His face was covered by his hands, and he was trembling only slightly.

It was unnerving to see Gareth like that, suddenly all the snide remarks and distrust was forgotten. April carefully sat down beside him, the springs groaning at the extra weight, but Gareth didn't even move a muscle.

With the tension being thicker than a brick wall, April sighed, placing a smooth hand on Gareth's shoulder, gripping it as hard as he had done for her.

These were the moments you wouldn't imagine in survival, those weak moments, when the emotions became overwhelming. These were the times, it was this vulnerability, this pain...when you remembered what it was to be human.

"It's okay" she comforted, rubbing her hand down his arm. "You were scared, it happens to everyone."

A hollow laugh escaped his throat, his hands slapping into his lap. He looked haggard, even more so than the night before, dark purplish circles under his bloodshot eyes. She hadn't even known they were chocolate brown...how could she not notice that?

Then again, why was she even thinking about things like that with the state he was in?

"Scared? That's what you think that was? You're not as good as you think you are at all that _reading emotions _bullcrap." He hissed. Defensive. That was always the first action when someone had something to hide. April didn't take offence to it, she'd heard worse, a million times worse. She just had to be delicate with what she said, that was all.

"And you're not so good at the whole _my brother is just an idiot _bullcrap." She countered, but with the glare she received from it, she decided it was better to leave the counters rally for another time. "Look, I can't pretend that I know everything, because that _is_ crap. But. I know what it's like to pretend to be something you're not, hell, that was what I did the whole time I was with Jason..."

April stopped. She had to.

She instantly looked away from Gareth's brown eyes, fumbling her hands together, an old habit of her childhood.

"Jason...was he your daughter's father?" Gareth asked, and the tone hinted at a danger that April didn't like in the slightest.

"Yeah, you could call him that I suppose." She replied bitterly and refused any memories of him to plague her mind. "We were eighteen, young, naive...and Kaitlyn was just a drunken mistake. That cheesy saying that 'mistakes are sometimes miracles in disguise'? That's what I think of her as."

"It didn't take long for Jason to leave, he didn't want anything to do with Kaitlyn, he wanted me to have an abortion but I refused. And he didn't like that. Me disobeying. But he made damn well sure that he kept in touch with her, even without my consent, meeting her after school, taking her to the park...all of it just to rile me up. He wouldn't have lasted two seconds, probably walking around as one of those dead things...just what he deserves." April finished spitefully, never speaking so cruelly about Jason to someone else before.

If only Andrea had been there. She would just tell her to pull herself together and stop crying over a man, that it never got you anywhere. She could hear her voice in her head, and it made April smile, even if the voice was imaginary.

"Sometimes we think things we're not proud of, do things that what other people would call barbaric. But that's life, there's no short cuts. And if you really hated Alex or Mary that much, then you would have abandoned them a long time ago. I think you just can't admit that you would be lost without them, like I can't admit that travelling with you three for the past day or so was probably the only thing that has kept me human. I was starting to forget what that was. So, yeah, I think you are a hero...even if you don't believe it yourself."

April stood up and began to leave the room, only to turn around to see that Gareth's eyes were a swirling bowl of brown, holding a little more life again.

"Even if the tracks lead nowhere, and it was all for nothing...at least know that you saved me. Remember that. Because you might need it some day."

She only smiled and left Gareth to ponder on what she had told him.

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><p><strong>Flashforward<strong>

_"At least know that you saved me. Remember that. Because you might need it some day."_

_As the gut-renching screams slipped through the cracks of the abyss-like train car, Gareth repeated those ancient words over and over again in his head. Body battered and bruised, huddled pathetically in the corner of the train car. His breathing hitched, trying desperately to block out the haunting screams, and the pounding of punches, and the psychotic laughter that made his blood run cold. _

_"You might need it some day."_

_Oh God, he did need it. _


	6. Friendship

**_Once again, thank you for all the amazing reviews and follows, this story is already over 2,000 views and I'm truly inspired and grateful for your continued support._**

**_This will take a bit of a jump because I want the characters to be a bit more 'comfortable' with each other if that makes sense._**

**_Either way, enjoy!_**

**_With that done, on with the chapter..._**

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><p><em>"Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses."<em>

_**Ann Landers**_

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><p>The group travelled along the tracks for the next week, finding short stops at (nearly) abandoned houses and small towns. The same routine was used: long hours of walking, either scouting around Cold Bodies or just killing them, and then sleeping for a good few hours. Nothing really drastic had happened.<p>

Alex had stopped talking though, at least, for his standards. He resulted to staying behind with Mary, giving evil eyes to the back of Gareth's head. It was understandable, but April was sure he would let it go eventually. Admittedly, she hadn't spoken much to him, deciding it was better to keep a closer eye on Gareth, though he seemed to have gone back to his normal leadership stance, minus his snide remarks.

They had collected some weapons and food along the way too. Gareth had grabbed the handgun from the dead grasp of the couple from their first house, without the knowledge of the others, but April was observant enough to notice it. Yes it was disrespectful, but the couple didn't need it anymore. They were dead. Gareth was alive. It made sense. Alex had stripped the poker from the Cold Body that had attacked him, sentimentality in the sickest form.

Mary had hidden the mirror shard in her palm.

It wasn't much, weaponry wise, but an assortment of cans had filled Gareth's backpack a little more. The road hadn't been as steady as that, the numb air between Alex and Gareth had to be acknowledged sometime, and it seemed only Mary and April knew it.

The stubbornness of men was like no other.

April sighed, the repeated actions each day becoming boorish. She would glance every so often at Gareth, the thin line of his lips told her he was still in that darker void. She might have to pull him out again. However, the hypnotic brown smoothness of his eyes held life again, even if it wasn't the same snarkiness. It wasn't guilt, at least.

"Come on" she said, putting on an obligatory happier tone "About time I taught you how to make snares."

Gareth snapped his head to her with a priceless expression of horror. There was some irony there. Snares weren't _that_ bad. Some were more humane than others admittedly.

"Shouldn't we focus on what is at the end of the line?" He replied gruffly, adjusting his expression to a less horrified state. It was true, she had to admit that.

"Well, we won't get there on cans alone. I found some rope in the kitchen of that last house, we can make a decent snare out of it." April explained, pulling the rope out of her jacket pocket for Gareth to inspect. He knew nothing of snares, they were always portrayed as devilish things before everything had started, but now he assumed it was a necessary skill for survival.

Always survival.

"Just as long as we don't stray far from the tracks." Gareth compromised, April drinking in her victory quietly although Gareth could sense it, and he snorted internally. She was persistent, another thing added to her personality that he liked but despised.

She lead them towards the woods again, keeping her promise to not go too far so that the train track could still be seen in the spaces between the trees. The three followed like a pack of wolf pups, having no clue on how to hunt. It was a humorous thought as April scanned the forest floor for the exact trap she needed.

It didn't take long to spot a low hanging branch with two toadstools growing perfectly to create a funnel shape. She was inwardly relieved to find one rather quickly. Crouching down as she instructed them on what to watch for.

"You see how the toadstools create a path? It's like a funnel, anything that walks past has to go through here." She explained, dragging a finger just above the ground, skimming along the pathway. "A thinner branch is better, well, at least thick enough for the animal to not break free. You tie it here, and then create a noose like this, imagine it as an execution noose if it helps. Cover it with some leaves like this and it's all set. You just have to wait." She finished, standing up and facing the bland expressions of her pupils.

It wasn't that difficult to comprehend, surely.

"What, that's _it_? You just wait?" Alex said while scrunching his nose, obviously not liking the idea of waiting for prey to walk by. Yes it could take hours or even days, but it made the catch all the more exciting, like opening a Christmas present.

"No of course not, rabbits are just going to be flocking in their hundreds and go through here. Hunting takes patience, true hunting anyway, not all that shooting wildly bullshit and hoping for the best." She said with more hostility than intended, but it stopped Alex's whining, a childish scowl appearing on his face. That was until Mary shot him a frightening glare, before turning to April with a gracious smile.

"It's good to know someone who has hunting skills, thank you."

April shrugged in response. "My Dad used to teach me and my sisters, although I was the only one that paid attention to the hunting bit, Amy liked the fishing better and Andrea...well...Andrea was just brought up differently, being the eldest and all."

"All the same, thank you. You've done so much in a short space of time and we are grateful, aren't we, _boys_?" She added in a critical tone, used by a mother so that her children shifted on their toes and mumbled whatever she wanted them to say. That was how Alex acted, head bowed low as he uttered a simple _yes_.

But April wasn't looking at him, oh no, it was Gareth who had captured her attention. He was wearing a very faint but detectable smile, eyes locking on April's with an expression that she couldn't read at all, wouldn't even know where to start.

"Yes. We are." He said, but the tone was so close to a word April would never imagine: Admiration. She couldn't help but smile back, just out of impulse, Gareth's smiling so rare that it was contagious.

"As long as we mark something that will show us where the snare is, we could find a camp somewhere, seeing as we have to wait." April said with a stutter, clearly unnerved by the brief moment of normal human behaviour. She turned away from Gareth's gaze and cut a _K_ into a nearby tree, digging into the bark with her knife, her whole arm juddering from the ripples as the blade sliced into the thick barrier.

They trudged through the woods for a little while longer, keeping away from the snare so as not to startle any forest critters away from the area. Using an extra yarn of string, they created a primitive boundary, the empty cans acting as noise makers if anything were to vibrate the string.

Gareth and April volunteered themselves to collect sticks for the fire, Alex leaning against a tree trunk in the corner of the boundary, ignoring everyone who even dared to talk to him. He was being a bit of a jackass about the whole ordeal, at least he was alive, though April guessed he wasn't the sort of person to focus on one thing like that.

"So you're Dad took you hunting, is that a normal thing for country dwellers?" Gareth asked, a pile of sticks pressed into his chest as April picked the best ones. Because of the insensitive question, she shot him a raised eyebrow and purposefully shoved a new stick against his chest, causing him to gasp a little at being winded.

"What? I'm a city guy, or I was, before everything." He declared, and April soon realised that she hadn't seen this side of him before. They hadn't actually been _alone_ before, not properly at least, not this far away from Mary and Alex. And it brought out new sides of him she didn't know about, then again, it did the same to her.

"Yeah and you city dwellers are all the same, thinking that we all have shotguns and talk like rednecks. I'll have you know that Andrea became a Civil Rights lawyer. Even though Dad didn't really talk about her after she left for college, she made it further than any of us." April said with a light chuckle, remembering her stubborn sister who was way too outspoken for their father's liking. She hoped they were alive somewhere, Andrea and Amy, she doubted very much that their father was alive, and the thought didn't hurt her as much as it should have.

That didn't make her a monster, did it?

"Andrea, Amy and April...you're family like the letter _A_ a little too much?" He snorted sarcastically, and April quickly thought up a comeback as she examined a heavier stick.

"Better than _Gareth_. You strike me more as a...Chris. Or _Christopher_." She added just to irritate him more, dumping the heavier stick in his arms, a grunt escaping his throat. "Struggling there?" She asked innocently.

Gareth didn't reply, but did give her a look that proved he saw her games. He was smart enough to see it.

A crack of a gunshot echoed through the woods, the sound of panicked birds cawing was high above the canopy of the tree tops, and it more than unnerved April who glanced at Gareth. He was just as frozen as she was, staring straight ahead with a preys' vigilance.

They had to check it out, see what they were up against.

Gareth dropped the stick pile without a second thought and whipped out the handgun, somehow knowing how to turn the safety off (he had probably been fiddling with the damned weapon through the long nights, not wanting to ask for help with such a simple thing). He cautiously moved forward, a hand out for April to stay behind him. She would have scoffed at these actions if it weren't for the seriousness in the air.

And it was serious, causing goosebumps to appear on her skin although it wasn't even cold.

The two kept a steady pace forward, Gareth scanning the gun from left to right, searching for any questioning movement in front of him. Eventually the woods opened up to a smaller clearing, where grass rose higher than anywhere else in the world, leisurely wavering in the breeze of the mid-morning sun.

They stooped down behind a thicket of low branches, Gareth's gun lowered to the ground as it was hard work keeping the metallic weapon poised at the same angle for so long.

At first they saw nothing, then crunching footsteps became faint in the clearing, until eventually a stranger stood proud. He looked as if he was in mid or late forties, brown hair combed back with a slither of silver that gleamed in the sunlight, dark eyes that resembled a shark's killer stare. Hands were placed on his hips, like a king serveying his land.

He was more than distrusting, he made April's stomach flip.

She prodded Gareth's arm, seeing as his glaring eyes hadn't left the stranger who began barking orders to whomever he was with.

"Gareth, let's just go."

He didn't move a muscle.

"Gareth, _please_, let's go before they spot us." She tried again, but with more urgency and fear. He looked to her now, eyes full of an unknown sorrow that shocked her. Gareth swallowed roughly and then nodded his head wordlessly, the two slinking away and only began talking again once they were sure the stranger couldn't sniff them out.

"You know him, don't you?" April asked, not cautiously either, more _accusing_.

Gareth picked up his pace, storming over fallen tree trunks and pushing aside hanging branches. This was bad, April could sense that a mile away.

"What of it?" He snarled, but corrected himself quickly after the angered impulse subsided. "He was a friend of sorts, a drinking buddy if you will. A few drinks and he'd be going on and on about his crap office job, bitch of a wife, and his beautiful daughter."

Gareth finally stopped to compose himself, inhaling and exhaling periodically with his eyes locked shut. He didn't know why he was being so defensive about it, there was no reason for it and yet there he was shutting her out over something so trivial.

"It's surreal I guess, seeing someone you knew before the outbreak. But he was, different, like everything else in this fucked up world. That's not the guy I remember, he wasn't that _proud_ of who he was, and certainly didn't fire a gun." He said, voice hitching slightly as emotions ran high.

Why the hell was he even _being_ emotional? The man was just some guy who happened to be in the bars whenever Gareth was, back in the day when he was young and reckless, when alcohol consumption was just for a good night out instead of drowning in your own nightmares.

"We don't know that was him." April replied lowly, moving forward to place a hand on his shoulder. He shuddered a breath at the touch, still looking away with his eyes closed, the sounds around them suddenly disturbingly quiet.

Gently, she traced her fingers down to his bandaged hand, lifting the limp hand up so that she could begin to peel the worn wool away. Gareth watched as she did so, how she carefully removed layer upon layer until the fading bite mark was visible for all to see. The place where her teeth had pierced skin was still a dried blood cut, but other than that, you wouldn't have known the bite was there at all.

"All better." April said with a tired smile, before it fell into a solemn gaze. "The scars may fade, but the memory is still there. It's only natural to be frightened by seeing someone you know alive, especially within the circumstances, because we never really know how much of the old them is there. Same as we don't know how much of the old us is still here too." She said tenderly, and Gareth found himself grateful of her way of wording things.

"How are you so good at this?" He mumbled, causing April to purse her chapped lips.

"It's my job, remember." She answered before shoving the bandage roll into her pocket. "Come on, we've still got firewood to collect and get back to Mary before she has a heart attack."

Gareth begrudgingly was pulled along by April's grip around his arm, and there was no escaping her clutches as they trudged back to the heavy pile of sticks.

"It couldn't come sooner." He muttered in response as he bent over and scooped the sticks into his arms, giving April a distinctive look over as he added: "means one less woman to bend over backwards for."

He was lucky to escape without a mark on him at the banter.

The two conversed until they returned to the make-shift camp. Only, the string had be broken, cans lying limp on the ground. But that wasn't the most worrying part...

Mary and Alex were nowhere to be seen.


	7. Rage

**_I'm just going to upload this early. _**

**_Once again, thank you so much for the continued support of this story. I haven't been able to write much because of slight inspiration loss and being busy. Don't worry, I have plenty of chapters already wriiten, but, I may space them out a bit. _**

**_A lot of you have been guessing who the mystery man is, you'll find out this chapter ;) _**

**_Also, for timeline things this is around the same time in which Rick first turns up at the camp in Atlanta right at the start of the series, around the time he's trying to get Glenn, Jacqui, Andrea, T-Dog and Merle out of Atlanta If you were confused about the timing. And finally, I have the story sort of planned out, and a lot of you were wondering what was going to happen to April..._**

**_you'll just have have to wait and see :D_**

**_But there will definitely be a sequel to this._**

**_with that done, on with the chapter..._**

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><p><em>"I really believe that all of us have a lot of darkness in our souls. Anger, rage, fear, sadness. I don't think that's only reserved for people who have horrible upbringings. I think it really exists and is part of the human condition. I think in the course of your life you figure out ways to deal with that."<em>

_**Kevin Bacon**_

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><p>Gareth slammed the pile of sticks onto the forest floor with a booming crack as leaves spun in the air due to the mild wind that was created. He paced about sharply with a hand being dragged through his hair. April said nothing. Although his noisy nature would attract unwanted attention of Cold Bodies and humans alike; she definitely didn't want to attract the attention of that man, even if Gareth had known him.<p>

Then again, she was more fearful of Gareth in that moment.

His mind wasn't on noise or rational thinking, it was just on rage and the frustrating feeling of being powerless. He _loathed_ that feeling.

"What the fuck were they thinking?!" He roared, kicking a can roughly, breathing heavily like an unfit rhino.

"Gareth"

"It'll be Alex, that suicidal, childish, idiot!"

"Gareth"

"When I find him-"

"Gareth!"

The shock wave of the screeching tone paralysed him. There was silence for an agonisingly long time until April stepped forward with a quietened, calm voice.

"Let's just stop for a minute. And think on where they would go."

It hadn't deteriorated his rage, but it definitely created a less powerful war machine in his mind. He did as she asked, focusing on levelling his head which would subsequently level his psychotic breathing, and it took quite some time before he settled to a placid Lion.

"They would...follow the tracks." He sighed with darkened flames still in his eyes, but April gave him a look of approval. "But it's not like them to leave without us, Mary, she wouldn't leave without you."

"Maybe the gunshot scared them, I mean, how many gunshots have you heard since all this started?" April asked, and Gareth only cocked his head, meaning it wasn't many if not at all. "There you go then, the gunshot must've startled them and as a result they decided to carry on. We'll catch up with them Gareth, they couldn't have gone too far." April comforted, before beginning the preparations of _folding up_ the make-shift campsite.

The backpack was gone.

They could only assume that Alex was carrying it. But what April found glinting in the rare ray of sunlight could have proven the assumption wrong. She had been wrapping up the rope, trying to keep the clashing of cans to a minimum until she was blinded by a burning glare from the ground, forcing her to look away for a moment before she searched for the spot with only one eye squinting. In the distorted vision, she could make out the mirror shard easily.

She bent down and picked it up from its cradle in a pile of crackling leaves. A deep crimson dripped off the sharpened edge, tapping and staining a couple of leaves. They didn't have to jump to conclusions, Mary or Alex could have just cut themselves by accident, at least, they hoped that was the case.

"We have to find them. _Now_." Gareth commanded over April's shoulder, seeing the dripping mirror shard was enough to make him more urgent than ever. April heard that in his voice, the rage was still there, and there was no point in him trying to hide it from her.

They packed up quickly, April going for only a moment to see whether the snare had caught anything. She didn't like leaving Gareth to mule over his thoughts, they wouldn't be good ones, but perhaps a rabbit or animal of sorts would give a form of comfort. Nothing. The forest didn't favour them at all.

She walked back empty handed, only to find that Gareth was fiddling with the gun. He wasn't in that state of mind, but it was clearly a reason for the sudden interest in trying to aim the weapon. She made her presence known with a little cough, Gareth hastily stuffing the gun into the rim of his trousers.

And so the two hiked back towards the train tracks, the pace set high by Gareth as they nearly jogged by the side of the tracks. He wanted to find them, safe or not, hurt or not, he just had to find them.

However, within the first half an hour of there forced jogging, the sky above them had altered to a worrying grey, clouds swirling and bonding together to create a darkened mass hanging over the land like a plague. It was enough to make anyone anxious, but April didn't breathe a word as a patter of fresh raindrops tapped on top of her head.

The rain became a pounding onslaught, drowning the landscape into a mirroring blur. It was near in impossible to see a few feet in front of them, the train tracks in the distance disappearing entirely as thunder boomed, the radical change in weather was an omen April did not want to think about. And it had been such a warm mid-morning, now she was soaked down to the bone with her whole body becoming numb to any feeling but the bullets of rain that slapped her face viciously.

All common sense had left Gareth, who still marched forward even though every step was now a splash of hypothermic-causing water.

"Gareth this rain isn't going to lighten up." She called as loud as she could, but the rain carried the sound into nothing. He ignored her. But she was having none of it. Not this time. She stormed forward as best she could and yanked his arm with what little strength remained, spinning him to face her and they shared matching demonic anger.

"This heroic bullshit has to stop before you fucking freeze yourself to death!" She cursed hatefully, knowing full well that he had reached the point when only anger directed at him would he listen. Her calculations were wrong.

"Heroic bullshit? I'm trying to find my family before they get _themselves_ killed! Why don't you go off and find your daughter, I'm sure you'll find her, likely chomping on some poor barstard's face right now!" He snapped.

As soon as the words left his lips he could see the damage they had created. April stood there, heaving gasps of breaths as tears spilled acidly out of her dull green eyes. She swallowed down the rage, not stooping to his level of sadism and spoke with such a low voice, but with the most terrifying venom there could be.

"_Fuck_. _You_." She said "I should never had made that deal."

She glared at him for all of second after that, and then barged past him, rushing off towards the woods to find some form of shelter. Even if he had shouted for her, she wouldn't have heard it as the thunder rumbled with the rain pelting the ground, likely causing dents in the fabric of the Earth.

It didn't take long before she collapsed under the mild shelter beneath the roots of a large oak tree, a small hollow where she was able to press her back into the mud so that little to know rain fell and ran along her body like a poison. She shivered uncontrollably, from the wetness of the rain, and the pained sobbing as Gareth's sadistic words lingered in her head devilishly.

Just the thought. Of her little girl, being so scared as one of the Cold Bodies lumbered towards her, screaming for help that would never come as it slowly ate away at her until she became one of them. It sickened her so much that she projectile vomited into a stream of running rainwater, the contents being carried away which was probably for the best as she wiped her mouth clean with her soaked sleeve.

She felt truly empty, just a never-ending feeling of numbness.

April had entertained the impossible notion that Kaitlyn was still alive somewhere, with people who would care for her, for far too long. The painful truth was: she was probably dead from the start.

"I'm sorry" she choked "I'm sorry, I'm _sorry_."

_I should have been there for you. I promised you I wouldn't leave you alone. I failed. I'm a failed mother and a monster. _April added in her thoughts with self-loathing, condemning herself as she hugged her still convulsing body.

She hardly moved as a moan suddenly sounded near her, a Cold Body being dragged by the fast moving stream of rainwater. It spotted her, growling with its arms outstretched, the once womanly features now decaying with the same putrid smell as the other creatures.

April's eyes became animalistic, anger boiling inside her. She had lost everything because of these damned creatures. Everything!

She flared her nostrils, yanking the knife out of its sheath. She instantly shot to her feet, knife raised up high as she jabbed the beast's brain over and over again. Repeatedly. Even when it toppled backwards and splashed into the stream, she followed, clambering on top as she stabbed. Flesh and all sorts of debris flew in every which way, April's eyes aflame with agony and tears.

Every stab. Every moan. Every ache of her arm. It brought no relief; she was neurotic.

Eventually when the Cold Body's face was just a flat mass, she leaned backwards into an uncontrollable howl, blood staining her hands red. She was in fact, covered head-to-toe in brain residue. She kept her mouth shut as not to let the contaminated substance drip into her throat, although most of it was washed away by the mixture of rainwater that trickled from her hair and salty tears streaming from her eyes.

Was this all it took? An agonising truth from pitiless words and she fell? From pensive to downright psychotic?

Questioning ones psyche was once her job. She never thought she would question her own psychological state. Ever.

Footsteps etched towards her, seeing the beastly scene. Hands tenderly gripped her shoulders, she jolted, standing up with the knife raised. Gareth took a step back with raised hands, playing everything calmly as he saw how damaged April was in that moment.

"April, it's me. Give me the knife." He said slowly, lowering a hand into an expectant twitch. April just stared distrustingly at him, a buzzing in her ears as old memories flashed in front of her eyes.

Rupunzel-like blonde hair. Delicately pale skin. Dazzling green eyes.

_"Promise you'll come back."_

_"Of course I'm coming back, I would never leave you alone."_

She dropped the knife, hands reaching to her cranium as the images pulsed and prodded her mind, scarring it, destroying it. She sobbed and cried out. Gareth sprinting forward to pull her into a warming embrace, holding on tightly as she thrashed, trying to break free.

"Its okay. I'm going to make it okay." He solaced, blowing tufts of hair as he rested his chin atop her head, feeling her numb body pressed against his own, somehow still being a form of radiant heat. He waited until she stopped thrashing before he lead her toward the hollow, setting her down gently as he stayed close beside her.

Gareth sat silently, though it did give some form of comfort that he was there with her, she didn't acknowledge it as her thoughts shifted between depression and her dead daughter. Eventually Gareth began pulling off his jacket, going to wrap it around April's shoulders.

"Don't" She whispered. He stopped, paralysed. "Just go. Find Alex and Mary."

"Not without you."

"Just. _Go_." She commanded, but her voice warbled with emotion.

"When Hell freezes over I might." Gareth replied a little harshly, but corrected himself into a more sympathetic tone. "Just let me put this on you."

Reluctantly, April nodded her head faintly and Gareth wrapped the jacket around her. She didn't pull it closer around herself, the fabric hanging off her still shuddering frame. He was stained with her sins, blood smudges all over the jacket.

She stared off into her darkened void, and he saw how he had ripped the only thing that kept her fighting spirit alive. Progressively, he snuck his arm around her and pulled her towards the crook of his neck, as slow as he could so that April had no choice but to allow it as his body temperature radiated her cheek.

He hushed her as she began sobbing again, putting the other arm around her. The close proximity didn't matter, not after the day they had had.

"I shouldn't have said those things. I know I can't take them back, but God I wish I could." Gareth breathed onto her hair, meaning every word.

"I'm glad you did." She replied in a robotic drone, and Gareth nurtured her by stroking the strands of her dampened blonde hair. The hast to find Alex and Mary became distant in the back of Gareth's mind. He had only one goal as April trembled in his arms: he had to bring her back, somehow amend what he had broken.

He realised, how quickly it could be broken now.

"Maybe she is, maybe she isn't. But we can't give up at the first hurdle, we have to keep going. Mary. Alex. Kaitlyn. They all believe in us...we have to believe in them too." He comforted, and the words were so blissfully rhythmic that April found herself falling asleep in his embrace. He didn't nudge her awake. He just hugged her close as the rain carried on pounding around them.

They were lucky the howls of April's possession hadn't been heard by Philip Blake.


	8. Heart

**_Ive been given more inspiration for this story, and I'm ahoy to say that it is going to be longer due to the way I'm going now, it's slightly different but will have the same conclusion. _**

**_I will warn that this chapter isnt my best and a bit cheesy but it will hopefully be better after this._**

**_Thank again for the amazing response, youre support always pushes me to do more chapters and I'm so thankful I cannot but it into words! ^^_**

**_I knew most of you had already guessed who the 'Mystery Man' was...still uncertain on what I'll do with that yet. _**

**_With that done, on with the chapter..._**

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><p><em>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness, and small obligations given habitually, are what preserve the heart and secure comfort."<em>

_**Humphry Davy**_

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><p>The rain lessened a while later to a slow patter, the darkness that had hung over the area now broke away to reveal the warming sunshine that purified the Earth that had been tarnished by the thunderstorm. It was no longer quiet as birds began chirping high up in the canopies, celebrating the triumphant return of the sun.<p>

April's sleep-encrusted eyes gingerly opened to see the ray of light pass over the hollow. Memories of the days events engulfed her, and she groaned as a headache formed in between her eyes.

"Don't tell me you froze to death. Wouldn't that be ironic."

"Screw you." She mumbled at Gareth's sarcastic comment, sitting up from her position on his shoulder, his arms untangling around her so that she was free to stretch her tingling muscles. Pins and needles exploded in her arms, causing a small irritation but it was the headache that attacked her brain that caused the most discomfort.

Blood still polluted her hands, and it took all her strength not to crush them into fists.

"You okay?" Gareth asked carefully, eyes never leaving her face as it held an unreadable stare.

Like hell she was okay.

"My head feels like it's being squished, my legs ache, my arms are pins and needles and my daughter is more than likely dead. But yeah. I'm peachy."

His eyes snapped to the floor at that, guilty of what he had said, silently hoping she would somehow be able to forgive him. She turned to see the blame on his face, and smiled lazily, mind not completely in motion yet.

She had to act normal again, fool him that it was just a moment of madness.

"I'm not angry. It was a wake up call if anything. Let's just find Mary and Alex." She said, tilting her head so that the thick roots of the tree didn't bang onto her head, and she saw the Cold Body still dead on the forest floor. "Thanks for..." She uttered, motioning the Cold Body with a hand because it was easier as her vocal chord felt as if it would tear.

"Anytime" he mumbled back, standing up as April picked up her knife and wiped it clean with the trim of her shirt. Remembering that his jacket was still around her shoulders, April shrugged it off and tossed it to Gareth, who caught it just before it hit the water-clogged mud.

They galavanted their way back to the train tracks. They were incredibly lucky, it wasn't difficult to find the clearing again and the tracks weren't covered by a river. However, just as April was about to walk forward, Gareth's hand gripped her arm gently. She turned.

"Wait" he croaked, sleep deprivation easily detectable by the dark bags under his eyes and the barely understandable voice. "We are not going anywhere until we talk about the deal again." He said with a commanding voice that April registered as there was no discussion they we having this talk. Still she tried to avoid it.

"Gareth I-"

"April I want you to stay with us." He interrupted her, so quick were his words that it made April's head spin.

Maybe she hadn't heard it right, maybe this was just a test to see how weak she really was.

"What?"

"When we do eventually find out what is at the end of the tracks, even if there is nothing at all...I want you to stay with us." He tried again, making the words as clear as possible so that April couldn't confuse it. She stared blankly at him. Why say it now? Why even consider it after what had happened earlier? A guilty conscious maybe?

"Why? Why would you offer me that?" She asked suspiciously, thinking there was an ulterior motive. Gareth sighed with irritation. Did he really have to spell it out for her?

"Because we wouldn't have survived this long without you. Sure we have no clue as to where Mary and Alex are, but he would have been dead in that house if you hadn't of done something. These last few weeks. I know now that we can't survive on sheer luck alone, that we have to take risks, suffer the consequences, even if it's something we would have nightmares about before everything happened."

"_You_ showed me that. And..." He trailed off, unable to finish. It seemed so pathetic of him, acting like a schoolboy in the middle of an apocalypse. Her expression didn't make it any easier, expectation of an explanation that he could all but stutter inaudibly.

_Screw it_. He thought.

Without any time to prepare or think twice, he stepped forward and hastily pressed his lips against hers. It was over in a second. Gareth pulling back to see that April's expression was aghast, unable to form words to counter his move.

"And that." He finished breathlessly.

April stood wordlessly, head and heart pounding as she tried to understand what had just happened.

"Well?" He asked expectantly.

What exactly was he expecting her to say? Yes, this is a brilliant idea, considering how only a few hours they were at each other's throats like competing wolves.

With her mouth ajar, eyes shifting as she tried to search for words that weren't hurtful but got the message across. But there were never right words. That hadn't changed.

"I can't do this." She whispered finally, surprised by the words as if they hadn't even fallen from her lips. His face fell into disdain, feeling so stupid to even consider something so trivial as that. Truthfully he was expecting that reaction, in fact, he expected worse, but still it cut him deeply than what any knife could do.

"I get it. We've only known each other for five minutes and most of that was rally matches." He answered, but it was impossible to hide the disappointment in his voice. She heard it and internally kicked herself as she stepped forward and looked him in the eyes.

"It's not that. Nothing to do with that. Even if Kaitlyn is dead. I know that someone has to be alive. Andrea, Amy, my friend Jim and his kids...someone is out there, and I have to find them. I don't know, maybe if things were different...don't let this make you think I don't like you, because I do. You, Mary and Alex reminded me that my family is out there too." She explained, hand reaching to rub the plastic dolphin with her thumb. She smiled at it as the clear material glimmered in the newly returned sun.

Amy was so pretty, the perfect prom queen girlie girl. While April had only inherited their mother's blonde hair, her horse-like long face and green eyes were her father's for definite. Amy was always wanting to play dolls whereas April would want to go out to look for critters in the undergrowth of their garden. Amy would be in a sparkling sequin dress whereas April would appear at the back door caked in mud. They were always chalk and cheese. And yet they had been bonded beyond most sisterly relationships.

At least, that was what April fantasied.

"Amy's my twin." April proclaimed, looking up to see that Gareth was slightly surprised by the news, the look made her smile. "No where near identical, and none of that empathy linking crap. But we equally shared our abandonment when Andrea never came to visit on our birthday. Or at anytime of the year. It'll be our birthday tomorrow." April finished thoughtfully, the idea of turning twenty-four hadn't crossed her mind, seeing as it seemed so pointless. But it would be the first that Amy and April wouldn't be together for it, and it made her feel disconnected.

Gareth had listened to every word, understanding, and realised that what he was proposing would never be enough. She needed her family. Just like he needed his. He twitched a smile, rolling his tongue over the plaque of his teeth. He would hate to see her go off alone, but there was no changing her mind. He could offer her a birthday, he could do that much.

"At least stay with us tomorrow, and then you can go and find them. But what about the deal?" He added, and April just shrugged her shoulders.

"I'll find a town, I always do. And whatever is at the end of the tracks is all yours, you deserve it." She answered, thinking it was best to tell a lie with mostly truth. And it was true. Gareth deserved the shelter with his family, no matter what hurt he had caused along the way.

"Okay, we better start walking again if we're going to catch them by tomorrow." Gareth said after a long pause, ignoring her compliments as they turned and walked side by side down the dull tracks once more. It was mainly silence, but not the awkward kind, just a content silence that both had come to an agreeable understanding without harsh words.

They both knew that the world was too unpredictable for that. Emotions of that sort could drive someone crazy, like family, only they had the choice to avoid the damage. You can't get attached. That's what they knew. It was just difficult to stick that in their mind the closer to Alex and Mary they got.

It was obvious that Gareth was still disheartened, even more so that April was leaving, and so he savoured the moments at lot more. Quick glances, shifty eyes, and short talks where they explained some things about their lives before. April had given way too much information of herself, he had hardly given anything to her, it wasn't as if he had done something life-changing before the outbreak, far from it, but there was no point in talking about the past if there was no chance of a future to reflect on it.

Still he tried.

"I was an IT technician before, not a very well-paid job but it had some perks. The office drones depended on you a lot, so they would literally do anything to get their work through to the big bad boss. That's how I met that guy, Philip, I'd see him pottering around the offices all day every day, same old boring job trying to work for someone younger than him. I may have been pretty new, but I knew where I stood, and it was better than being humiliated by a pompous brat. Still, I spent most of the money on getting drunk. Just for the thrill of it. Especially after our mom died." He added solemnly, waiting for April to voice the question.

She didn't speak a word. She didn't have to.

"It was before all of this, back when me and Alex were...eighteen? I think, anyway. Didn't take long for Dad to meet Mary, the barstard hated being alone. She was good to us, Alex liked her but I just stayed out of the happy family for the most part. It was just easier. Regret it now though." He sighed, staring up at the sky, seeing all the clouds that remained the purest white even with the discoloured grey and red of the world beneath them.

"Can't imagine you as a rebel, let alone an alcoholic." April snorted in good humour, and Gareth joined with his own chuckle, it made the tense moment less saddening.

"Just because I liked an extra drink or two doesn't make me an alcoholic. But I must admit, I gave Mary a hard time, that hasn't changed since the outbreak." He mumbled, yawning wildly as the sleepless nights began to take its toll.

"She'll forgive you, you didn't abandon her when many others would." She replied, this being the last thing they said as a few minutes later they were met with the sight of a small town.

The tracks ran alongside it, the large houses all lined up on the left with their green lawns, pieces of rotten flesh biochemically fertilising the earth. There were a few Cold Bodies scattered around, stumbling as usual.

"You think they'll be there?" April asked, eyes never leaving the Cold Bodies, one being that of a young girl around the age of six. It was dressed in ripped pyjamas stained red from the white it used to be. They were Hello Kitty pyjamas, a night gown draped over the dead flesh, teddy in one hand hanging loosely. She resembled Kaitlyn, and it made her mind flicker with thoughts of what had happened earlier on the same day.

It spotted them, it being so close to the tracks. It began to steadily growl towards them, snarling as dead eyes targeted them with a lusting need to eat. April stepped forward, unsheathing the knife and slammed it into the top of the Cold Body's head, a half-hearted moan escaped before it slumped to the floor.

She pulled the knife out and wiped it clean on her t-shirt, still smothered with the dried blood of the other Cold Body. There was no emotion now. You had to do what you had to do.

"Only one way to find out." Gareth replied, the click of his gun sounding in April's ears.

They carefully began to enter the town.


	9. Pain

**_Apologies that this took longer, I haven't been writing much so I didnt want to upload until I was certain I had enough chapters for a small pause. Anyhow, new chapter that brings us closer to a certain moment, or more, introduction to a character._**

**_I can't wait to show you what's in store._**

**_I'm sure I mentioned this will be a bit longer than I originally planned, but this particular story has given ideas not only for a sequel but a small spin-off fanfic as well._**

**_And once again thank you so much for the continued support, the reviews, follows, favourites mean the world to me! ^^_**

**_Hope you enjoy!_**

**_With that done, on with the chapter..._**

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><p><em>"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand."<em>

_**Henri Nouwen**_

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><p><em>The long boat leisurely bobbed atop the beautiful lake, the water such a glistening blue it was hard to believe that this lake was situated below high rocky ledges. It was silent. A blissful silence for those who had spent days and days only hearing screaming of the living or moans of the dead that were far from the tranquility of the lake.<em>

_Two young woman with strikingly similar resemblance sat in the boat wordlessly, a striped blue and white umbrella shielding them from the blazing sun high above them, the water sparkling from the beating heat._

_Two fishing rods were shared, one on each side of the boat as the two women shared passing glances at each other. The woman who looked considerably older than the other, wearing a straw hat and a simple blue shirt with a white undershirt, looked away rapidly as the young ageless woman noticed her glance at the right time._

_"What?" The youthful one demanded._

_"Nothing" the woman answered passively but with a clear sense of urgency._

_"It's not nothing. It's always something."_

_"Didn't Dad teach you to tie nail knots?"_

_"Why would he do that? He only ever used a fisherman's knot."_

_The youthful woman had been looking at the end of her rod which was much further out into the lake, eyes glancing at where the lake ended and became smooth rocks, a couple of other women doing laundry. However, she looked to her sister, Andrea, with an adamant expression on her innocent face._

_"One knot."_

_"No, he didn't." Andrea contradicted. "No, he tied at least three."_

_"Clinch knots? No way."_

_"Fine, I'm making it up." Andrea replied with a waver of her hand, not wanting an argument but Amy only scoffed. For a while, Amy just turned the lever of her rod, the irritating clicking sound vibrating in Andrea's ears. _

_There was more than one reason for the childish hostility, even though the day before Amy had practically suffocated her when she had retuned from Atlanta. Feelings could change that quickly._

_But curiosity hadn't changed._

_"Did Dad teach you mostly dry lures?"_

_"Yeah. You?"_

_"Wet"_

_"You're kidding? But he was always so adamant. I mean, you know Dad on the fishing thing."_

_"Gee, you think? I only spent my entire childhood with my ass in a boat. But in my day it was all about getting the hook seated. We were fishing for the dinner table."_

_"Not us. We always threw them back. Me and April. Always."_

_The space inside the boat fell silent with mourning, the mention of the unaccounted for sister was like a jab in the head with a metal needle for Amy. They had never been this long apart, not even when both had gone to separate colleges, or when April had gotten her internship. They always stayed in touch._

_Except Andrea._

_"I guess he changed things up." Andrea sighed, ignoring the discomfort._

_"But that'd be like changing his religion or something."_

_"People change. It's not his fault we were born twevle years apart."_

_"No" Amy replied immediately, allowing herself to say what she had wanted for a long time. "No, because...the minute you went off to college, it was mine and April's ass in that boat and he taught us dry lures from day one. Well, at least I learned...April used to just intentionally fall out of the boat to go swim."_

_Amy paused long enough for the memory to surface in her mind, it was enough for tears to well in her sky blue eyes._

_"This was not behaviour developed over time."_

_"You think he did it for us?"_

_"Because he knew we were so different. All of us. He knew that you needed to catch the fish, April needed to fumble with them, and I needed to throw them back."_

_Andrea gasped, the sensation of tear ducts filling made her squirm in her seat. They were country girls, they couldn't be seen as weak._

_"All right, remember his rule: no crying in the boat. It scares the fish."_

_"Mom and Dad...I mean...maybe Florida wasn't hit so bad. Maybe it's better there. Same with where April's at. Do you think?"_

_The two sisters shared a long pause of silence, staring into each other's eyes with desperate hope. But a pull at Amy's rod stole the moment away._

_"I think you have a bite...even with the wrong knots." Andrea said with a little chuckle, Amy swallowed and pulled her lure in, only for there to be nothing. She flicked it back out again. She began to cry._

_"Oh, god. So much for the no-crying rule." Amy sniffed, wiping stray tears with a delicate hand._

_"I think it was more for Dad, than the fish." Andrea laughed emptily back, smiling, the argument replaced with loss as they began to think about the people who were not with them. Mom, Dad, April. The three people that mattered most of all, and they had no clue whether they were alive or not._

_Andrea shifted her gaze towards the bank of the lake, face falling as she watched a young girl stare at the rippling water. Knees held close to her chest, a huge grey t-shirt that swamped her which hid denim shorts, white trainers with pink strips running along the ankle. Her once long flowing hair had been cut short, the rim curling above her shoulders as a baseball cap borrowed from Shane covered the top of her head from the blazing heat._

_ The other women on the bank mostly ignored her, not spitefully, but because the girl hadn't spoken a word to anyone._

_She would just sit there, lonely, until Jim or Dale would call her to return to camp. Jim had grown more distant from her though, from all of them in fact, it was only Dale who could make the girl so much as smile anymore. Even then, it was a slim hollow smile._

_No child should live like that._

_"She's doing it again, it's she?" Amy asked, pulling Andrea out of her thoughts, the sisters sharing a knowing gaze before both turned back to the young girl who began to lean forward and swish a hand in the water._

_"Jim should've been here by now. Maybe something is holding him up." Andrea muttered, not holding much thought towards the young girl, even though she was her own blood. _

_"Andrea-"_

_"No, Amy." Andrea commanded, but Amy just tilted her head with a begging in her eyes._

_"She's our _niece_."_

_"She looks through us like we're strangers."_

_"She's shy, always has been, hell it took years for her to say a word to me. She misses her mom...and we miss April." Amy leaned forward determination that she was going to win. "We have to be there for her, for April, we need to keep her safe." _

_"And we will, but if April hadn't shipped her off to Jim in the first place she would be with her daughter right now. And with us, her family!" Andrea hissed, ending the discussion as her head snapped back to her rod. Amy sighed melancholily, eyes glancing over to her niece once more._

_The old smiles were long gone, once bright features now silent and tired. Her shoulders sagged, and even Amy could see she was crying from the boat way out in the lake. It would be Amy and April's birthday tomorrow, and Amy promised she would make a silent prayer for her twin._

_She just hoped that April would do the same, where ever she was. _

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><p>April and Gareth crouched down and scouted around the side of the town just as the sun began to make a flaming strip along the horizon. Though a town was not exactly the best way to describe it, more like a congregation of houses side by side, stretching further down the concrete road than April dare say.<p>

Gareth had the gun prepped and loaded while April gripped the knife blade downwards, thinking it would create an easier cut if needed, it was a long shot but this was there best chance. They cuddled up next to the closest house, the brickwork scraping against the fabric of their jackets as April peaked her head around the corner. There were perhaps five Cold Bodies walking around, a few more piled up and munching hungrily on what looked like a dog.

What it really looked like was a mess of organs. Vultures around a corpse.

"How bad is it?" Gareth asked, April said nothing in response. "A number would be nice." He jibed.

"Ten, fifteen...I can't tell. We getting supplies as well or just Mary and Alex?" She asked back quickly, a Cold Body seeming to stumble towards their general area.

"Mary and Alex, but we see anything worth something, we grab." He ordered, April nodded her head and gingerly creeped forward and onto the lawn. Luckily it was Cold Body free, and most were too preoccupied with the dog as more seemed the surround it, getting the best pieces.

The sensation of Gareth's breath on the back of her neck was more than distracting, but they managed to clamber inside without being noticed and shut the door as quietly as possible. April turned as a flash of a metallic object zipped over her head, she ducked down and was about to slice at a leg when a womanly scream forced her head to snap up.

An excruciating pain slashed at her shoulder and she cried out, dropping the knife as the hand madly rushed to the spot, coming back with fresh blood dripping down her wrist. The edges of her vision became a crimson blur, and the pain in her shoulder only gradually got worse and worse until she was at the point of nearly passing out.

A dishevelled Mary with bulged eyes fell down next to April, tears rolling down her cheeks as realisation dawned on her face.

"April? God no, no, no, no!" She sobbed, yanking her ruined cardigan off to put pressure on the deep wound, caused by a mirror shard that had bounced to the floor, April's blood flying everywhere. She bit on her tongue to stop the scream that wanted desperately to relieve her throat.

"Gareth! We thought...we thought you were someone else. I swear, if we'd known." Alex stuttered hysterically, the crossbar hanging loosely in his hand as Gareth shot him a glare to shut him up. Instead of yelling at Alex for his recklessness, he went over and kneeled next to April who hissed as the pain in her shoulder muffled the world around her.

The cardigan was soon drenched in blood, and Gareth had to peel away the wool to reveal the gash that was only a few millimetres away from her neck. He focused on calming his quickened heartbeat as his hands flashed to pull off April's jacket, giving more view of how bad the damage to her flesh was. It didn't look good at all, a waterfall of blood gushing from the wound that seemed an inch deep.

"Do you have _anything_ that could stop the bleeding?" He asked Mary with a voice of venom, she turned to him with far away eyes but managed to nod her head faintly. "Then get it, we can worry about infection later."

She was whitened with guilt as she stood up dizzily, rushing off further into the house to find whatever she found as a suitable medical material. Gareth placed his hand over the wound, pressing down hard to stop as much blood escaping as possible and felt at blame when April swallowed down another scream.

"Thanks for the warm welcome." He seethed at Alex who stood beside his brother, towering over the two with his hands fumbling through his curly black hair. He had had enough of the constant remarks, and lashed out in a yelling fit.

"What the hell was I supposed to do?! For the last few hours I've been trying to keep Mary alive, worried where you were, worried about the Cold Bodies. Do you have any idea how fucking hard it's been? No course not, you two were probably doing God knows what in that damn forest. When that gunshot went off we thought the worst, we ran okay, we saw these dudes and we decided to leave. I was scared, Gareth! We both were!"

"I may be a jackass but I never left you behind! Next time stop trying and just leave the surviving to people who know what they're doing, hell, one less idiot didn't hurt anybody!" Gareth snarled back, just as Mary entered the room again with a blazing inferno wrapped around her body like spiralling flames.

"Stop it! Both of you keep those traps shut, you can bicker once April is out of harms way."

"She wouldn't have even been in harms way if it weren't for you." Gareth muttered, but was shocked by the murdering glare Mary pounced on him.

"Both of you out. Now!" She screeched, and the boys went speedily out of her way upstairs. Even Gareth would not argue with her, never seeing her so angered before. It frightened him. And he wasn't ashamed to say it.

April had flinched at all the raised voices, but was too out of it to move as her surroundings began to topple. A rough hand gripped her head before it hit the floor, it lowered it to the wooden floorboards as a cloth of sorts was dabbed onto the gash. April cried out in pain as a liquid sizzled the damaged skin, her hands scrunching into fists as she began to heave breaths in rapid gasps.

Her body convolsed. Mary had to hold her down, nails digging into her exposed arm.

"I know it hurts, but I promise it will make it better. I give my word." Mary's soothing voice was muffled and distant, but April could distinctly hear the desperation as if it were a terrible lie. She tried to think of something else, but her mind just screamed out: pain, pain, pain. Over and over again like a record player.

Mary was right, the burning sensation subsided but only enough for April to stop squeezing tears out of her eyes. She had to keep her eyes shut as everything had been spinning as soon as the roaring voices had haunted her skull, and so her hearing was heightened a little more, hearing the roll of a bandage, the woollen material was then pressured against the gash and tightly held down by what felt like duct tape. That would hurt when it was needed to be peeled off.

"Bandaged up, we just need to get you into a comfier position." Mary uttered to herself, possibly she had been making a silent to do list until now, to not panic was likely at the top.

"Is there a couch close by?" April slurred, regretting the speech as she wanted to vomit. She dreaded to think how she looked, likely as pale as a ghost just by how much her body spasmed. The pit of her stomach felt oddly sour, she could taste it like repulsive bile.

"Yes, but I can't carry you and you are not walking to it." Mary told her firmly.

"Yes, Mom." April croaked, laughing hoarsely before wrenching up a liquid, smelling sour, the horrific sensation of it still near her mouth made her gag. She really needed to keep quiet. A scratchy material tickled against April's nose as the liquid was wiped up, Mary was close to joining April's vomit fest but swallowed the feeling down and stood up, turning to grip the banister that lead upstairs.

"Gareth" she called, but she was sure if it was any other situation he would have ignored her. This time, he came clambering downstairs with a fear-stricken look on his face. He wasn't angry, at least, not anymore as he had no energy to be, right then he was just concerned. "Do you think you can carry her into the living room?" Mary asked tentatively, avoiding Gareth's eyes.

He didn't reply, just walked over and cautiously bent down and leaned a hand under April's head, the other somewhere near her waist as he braced himself before grunting, picking her up as best he could though his arms shivered with exhaustion. He held her bridal-style and edged slowly towards the next room, Mary standing in the doorway for direction. Gareth only glanced at her before he went inside and placed April along the cream coloured couch.

It was a luxurious house, that was identified by the oak furniture and the continual colour of white and blue. A coffee table stood in front of the couch, and this is where Gareth perched himself with his back facing the boarded up window, the last of the daylight slipping through the cracks.

He honestly hoped that the impulsive shouting hadn't caused enough noise for the Cold Bodies to turn on them, that was the last thing they needed, April was nowhere near close to moving anytime soon. He pushed a few strands off her face, she wasn't asleep, but her eyes stayed firmly shut.

"She's going to be okay." He said "she has to be."

"I can hear you, asshole." She wheezed, a smile pulling at her sweat-dripped face.

"You were supposed to, Barbie." He countered, caressing the side of her head comfortingly.

Mary watched by the door, the look of Gareth's was one she recognised, but never on his face before. She felt even more guilty, and that was difficult as it was. She shook her head, tears streaming from her eyes.

"I'm so sorry." She choked, but Gareth just stood up and hugged her tightly, rocking her a little as he breathed in her scent that resembled sunflowers.

"You have no idea how happy I am to see you." He breathed, Mary sobbing into his chest. April could hear the scene, and smiled triumphantly.

Her shoulder jolted and random jabs of pain exploded devilishly, but all in all she was okay. It could have been much worse, and she was just lucky that Mary knew some nursing skills. She slowly slipped into unconsciousness, the blissful bring of sleep was too strong.

But sinful nightmares would make her regret it.

* * *

><p>Gareth had stood leaning against a kitchen counter top wordlessly for a full minute. The anger had surpassed a long while ago, the night young but they wouldn't have known as all the windows were boarded up, even so, they were still made anxious by the moans and rustling coming from outside.<p>

Surely they would have been used to the sounds by now, and yet they still caused discomfort as Gareth tried to block them out. He could feel Alex's evil eyes on him, even if his own were closed, he could still feel the laser-like feeling of bitterness aimed at his head.

He had to rise above it. For her sake.

"What _exactly_ happened to you two?" Gareth asked finally, looking up to find Alex's eyes had shifted away from him, clearly thinking the floor was more stimulating to glare at.

"I told you. We heard the gunshot, Mary wanted to find you but these guys looked like they were scanning the area, so we left." Alex paused, sighing exhaustingly as his short burst of anger subsided. How could he hate his brother?

"Gareth they looked shady, who knows what they would have done to us." Alex mumbled to the floor, and Gareth could only nod his head. It wasn't what they would do to them, more what they would have done to Mary and April, that was what caused the abandonment.

"You did good, you were thinking for once. But we can't assume everyone who fires a gun is bad. I'm going to have to fire this one at some point, does that make me a bad person?" Gareth dared, though honestly he had no idea why he was defending the people he also could see were bad news.

But they had to remember they were human beings, just like them, just trying to survive. That didn't make them _bad_.

"She's really got into your head, hasn't she?" Alex scoffed in response, shaking his head at the ludicrousy of it all. Gareth tightened his jaw, but said nothing, he'd already said enough to cause everlasting damage.

Alex sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"I can't blame you. she's hot alright, but she's not staying, you have to remember that." Alex said with such a wise tone that it caught Gareth off-guard, impressed by how being in charge for only a few hours had shaped his younger brother. And he was right.

"As soon as the wound is healed, she's leaving. She was going to leave tomorrow but obviously that's been delayed." Gareth uttered, and the questioning look on Alex's face made Gareth go through everything that had happened over the half-day. When he was finished, Alex actually chuckled, hands pressed over his face as Gareth wore an expression of disturbed confusion.

"You kissed her? _You_? Never knew you had it in you." Alex huffed, almost as a silent pat-on-the-back although it wasn't helping the moment at all.

"So I tell you that because of me April had a psychotic meltdown and mauled a Cold Body's face...and you focus on the fact that I got rejected?" Gareth mocked, then again he couldn't exactly expect anything more from him. Still, the idea seemed to humour the both of them.

"It's weird you know, being like this again, I remember how much of a player you used to be before Mom." Alex reminsced, but left the subject at that as he began rooting through the cabinets in search of something edible. It gave Gareth a thought.

"Anything good?"

"Mostly junk food...why?"

"Would've thought you'd be filling that bag up with food. And also because it's April's birthday tomorrow." Gareth added slowly, rolling his eyes at Alex's silent chuckle as he pulled out a bottle of vodka.

"Well, let's give her a good one then."


	10. Family

**_Apologies that this took a little longer to upload, but I've been really busy will school work and haven't been able to write a whole new chapter, I have drabbles here and there for two, but haven't drafted it up properly yet._**

**_Thank you so much for the continued support! ^.^_**

**_With that done, on with the chapter..._**

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><p><em>"The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have."<em>

_**Ring Lardner**_

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><p>April's eyes shot open. Confusion. Her left eye sizzling as blazing sunlight slipped through the crack of a wooden board covering the window. She couldn't sit up, most of her body wasn't her own as she felt numb, not even a tremble, just an all around feeling of emptiness as her breathing tried to level out.<p>

Terrible nightmares had left beads of sweat on her forehead, and she couldn't bring herself to reimagine them as her stomach twisted into sickening knots. She licked her lips in an attempt to wet them as they were distastefully cracked and dry, causing saliva to spiral out of her mouth and onto the cream couch.

Gingerly, she tried to slowly move an arm out to press against the leather fabric of the couch, but it vibrated as she pressed all her weight onto it. She collapsed and huffed in irritation and pain that coursed from her shoulder. The pain was still there from yesterday, was that honestly a good sign?

She tried not to think about, focusing her mind on sitting up, hoping it would bring some feeling back into her limbs. Once again, she pressed all her weight onto the one arm, ignoring the stabbing pain of her shoulder and gasped as her head triumphantly slammed into the back of the couch, just shire of the wall behind it. She sighed in relief, but it quickly turned into a grimace as a hand ghosted over her injured shoulder.

April swore she could feel the heat radiating from it.

A moan suddenly rumbled outside the door. April's head snapped in the direction as her heart beat quickened. She could hear it, the stumbling feet clonking on the wooden floorboards. She caught her breath with a hitch as eyes rapidly searched of a means of defence. But there was nothing. She was trapped.

Her head flashed to the door again as a Cold Body turned the corner. She screamed. There was no denying the resemblance. It was Gareth, he had turned, and he looked at her with nothing but lust for her flesh.

She continually screamed as his lumbering corpse shuffled towards her, arms outstretched to grab her as she tried to desperately move further up the couch. It was hopeless. All of it. Was for nothing.

He pounced on her leg and began slicing his teeth through the flesh, straight to the bone. Her scream disappeared into a dying gurgle.

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><p>April gasped, seeming to fall for eternity before she hit the wooden floor sideways with a deafening crack. She couldn't catch her breath as it was erratic, she felt as if she was suffocating as images of the nightmare still pulsated behind her eyes. Gareth pulling away bloodied flesh of her leg, but the eyes, they were not white. They were his chocolate brown.<p>

April sobbed, unable to control herself as she lay spasming on the floor. She tightly shut her eyes, desperately trying to stop the images before she had a complete nervous break down.

Rushing footsteps suddenly sounded in her muffled ears, and her body was pulled up as she fell into an embrace against them. She cried into the person's neck, having no control over her body or her mind. A hand caressed itself through her hair, a voice hushing her as they rocked from side to side a little, the kneeling embrace causing some de ja vú.

"It's okay, it's okay." Gareth echoed repeatedly until April was able to calm down. At the voice, she hugged him tighter, almost threatening to crack his neck as the nightmare tried to repeat full throttle in her mind.

"You'd Turned...I thought-" she choked, unable to hide her fear anymore. It seemed like an eternity since she had told herself not to get attached, to keep distance. All of that had been thrown out of the window. It was only now, feeling safe in Gareth's arms did she realise just how much she cared for them. All of them.

"It was just a nightmare, I haven't Turned, everything is okay." He comforted again, a hand moving a few strands off her face as her head shifted onto his chest, hearing his heartbeat against her ear.

"No" she replied hollowly. "It's not okay."

Gareth didn't reply, just let the words and the unspoken meaning to sink in as he swallowed the lump in his throat. There was nothing he could say, he could at least do what he had set out to do the day before.

"Come on" He said as he held April close as he helped her stand up. "We've got something set up for you in the kitchen."

He actually sounded, _excited_.

Gareth led her through to the back of the house, she took in some of the surroundings but they all seemed to jumble into just luxuries that she would never see again. Truthfully, she doubted whether she could have held herself up if Gareth didn't have a grip on her arms. He was hasty, that meant she had to smile when she saw whatever he had prepared.

She had to pretend to be happy.

April's eyes did lighten up at the sight of a central marble counter that was laid with an assortment of basic junk food and the cans they had collected over the past few days. Mary wore a fake smile, but it was so realistic that April wouldn't have noticed if it wasn't for the strain in the old woman's eyes. Alex seemed to wear a genuine grin, one she was more than grateful for.

She stood still. And then a smile began to involuntarily spread onto her face. She laughed, tears of joy in her eyes. Everyone seemed a little uncertain of what to do.

"Thank you. For everything." She said graciously, Mary just stepped forward and hugged her, April could smell the distinct aroma of sunflowers.

"Happy birthday, we couldn't get much but...it's better than nothing." Mary said as she pulled away, the fake smile still plastered onto her face as there's eyes met for a moment. April could see it, she was _proud_ of her. The look caught her off guard, only seeing it worn by her father whenever she was actually able to catch a fish when they went fishing with her sister.

She was always terrible at fishing, so whenever she managed to catch one it was like winning the lottery. And Dad, he would always smile with tears welling in his eyes. He would be _proud_.

_Remember the rule girls: No-crying in the boat. It scares the fish. _

She could hear it as clear as day, her father's voice echoing in her head. That one damn rule that was for him, not the fish.

_No_. _Crying_.

"It's...amazing. Thank you." She repeated again as Mary gripped her shoulder lovingly before running off to set up some plates. Alex sat down at an oval oak table situated against the far wall, motioning for Gareth and April to join him as Mary began sorting food onto plates. April noticed, that the plates were not whole, the crockery broken so that the junk food had to be scrunched together, creating a higher mound.

April sat quietly, hands placed on her lap as none of her body touched the table. She had to remember, no elbows on the table, it was common manners as her mother had told her. She remembered the small parties with just her birthday twin and their parents, no school friends or neighbours, not Andrea, just the four of them filling the house with laughter.

Laughter.

What did that sound like again?

"This may look like some pretty crappy kids party, but, we do have this." Alex said, hoisting up a bottom of vodka with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "You probably wouldn't believe it, but Gareth was quite the drinker when we were younger, always managed to stay somewhat sober no matter how much he drank. Hoping to test that tonight." He added, the challenge only making Gareth lean back in his chair, the creaks echoey as he crossed his arms.

"You are not getting me drunk." He replied firmly. "Especially after the Dumbledore incident."

April snorted, just the sound of it made her dread what he meant by that. Alex chuckled wholeheartedly, before raising his hands in many gestures as he retold the story.

"Basically Gareth found out he had secured this IT job, so, we went on a bender. He got so drunk he hugged this old man with a beard and shouted 'Dumbledore, you're alive!' I can still picture the wasted joy on your face!" Alex exclaimed, but was shushed by Mary, the threat of Cold Bodies still adamant no matter how secure the house was. He quickly apologised, but couldn't wipe the grin off his face as Gareth bowed his head into his hands.

"How many people saw it?" April asked in good humour, only for Gareth to sit up a little to rub his temples.

"About two point five million on Youtube." He muttered, and April only shook her head as Mary returned with their plates. Setting them down gently, she could see a small range of crisps, from Walkers to nik naks, with a couple of pieces of canned peaches. It looked delicious, all them forgetting what food looked like, real food.

"Now boys, don't start that argument again." Mary warned as she sat next to Alex, opposite April as they shared a knowing glance. Alex immediately became defensive about it, shoving a couple of crisps into his mouth, chomping loudly as he argued his case.

"I was drunk. I saw an opportunity for a viral video and I took it."

"Yes, with me being humiliated in the process." Gareth countered, but the smile on his face meant there was no spitefulness in his words.

"You got off lightly...could've put up the one with the cowgirl."

Garerh paled.

Alex hid his snickers as the table became extremely quiet. Gareth glared at him with a perfect murderous expression as Mary looked at him with dangerous curiosity.

"Excuse me?"

_Gareth, you're so screwed_. April thought as she cupped her head in her hands, resting her elbows on the table for better support.

"A cowgirl? Sounds _very_ interesting. Come on Gareth, tell us." She taunted innocently, and he turned to her with a raised eyebrow. If he said one word in front of Mary, he was done for.

"Traditionally, it's the birthday girl that spills her secrets." He side-stepped, coughing a little to move the subject away from him. April only smirked, dropping her arms again as she stepped up to his dare.

"If I must." she sighed, thinking of which story to tell.

"I once broke into my Dad's alcohol cabinet. I was sixteen, really curious and just picked up a bottle and started drinking it. And first it was disgusting, the worst thing I had ever tasted, it was so bitter I wondered how adults drank it. But I kept going, and before I knew it I'd finished the whole bottle. I just remember giggling the whole time, unable to stop even when Amy found me and started yelling at me that Dad was going to kill me if he saw me like that. She led me to the bathroom, and practically dunked my head into a tub of bath water, I remember how I kept struggling to breathe as I kept giggling. She stayed with me until I sobered up, gripping my hair when I had to vomit in the toilet. I realised that...I had never heard her scream at me before, not angrily, not ever. She just sat there on the floor. Crying."

April paused, the story suddenly becoming clearer than it had ever been before. Suddenly darker than what she remembered.

"She couldn't bring herself to look at me, not once. She just said 'sometimes I wish you hadn't of been born too, so I wouldn't have to keep saving you from yourself'. It hit me, you know, the words I never expected from her because she was the perfect pretty girl who never got into trouble. And me. Well. I think the reason Dad gave us such a hard childhood wasn't because of Andrea skipping off to college, it was because I did _everything_ to make him hate me." April said with disbelief, not believing that that stupid little girl who drank and smoked and nearly threw her life away just because she wasn't her sister was once her. Just because she wasn't _perfect_.

If she could go back, she would slap that little girl and tell her some harsh truths.

"Why?" Alex asked, reminding April that she wasn't alone, although the room was so quiet it might as well have been.

"Because I was a spoilt brat who blamed him for Andrea leaving. I blamed him for the fact he hauled our asses into a boat every day. Blamed him when I made mistakes. I blamed him...because it was easier than blaming myself. I guess that's one reason I'm glad the world went to shit, otherwise, I'd still be blaming him that I made my life worth nothing. Kaitlyn was the only good thing I've done, ever, and everyday I would make sure she didn't make my mistakes. Suppose that's useless now, huh?" April finished, hauling a hollow laugh as she bit into one of the slimy peaches, the sweet texture glorious on her taste buds.

It was silent for so long, awkwardly quiet as all sympathetic eyes were on her.

"I can't put into words how grateful I am for all of you. I don't know what I would've become if I hadn't met you. I dread to think. All you've done, for someone like me who purposefully messed everything up in her pitiful life...that's the kindness people need. To feel that even though they've made mistakes, a lot of mistakes, that there are people who are willing to forgive them, take them in and show them that they're not bad people. That's what this world needs now."

She looked up at all their faces, one by one, a rhythmic laugh escaping her throat as she realised just how idiotic she had been the whole time. Her eyes rested on Gareth next to her, his chocolate-coloured eyes glistening with hope. Hope. She had made him _hope_.

"Will you stay?" He asked in a croak, afraid of another rejection. There wasn't even a _with_ _us_. Just _stay_. Because there was a hidden meaning behind it that April registered in less than a heartbeat. She smiled, green eyes brightening.

"If you'll have a me."

Everyone chuckled lightly, but the acceptance was in the air as Alex clapped his hands.

"Well, are we going to start on the vodka or not?"

He grinned, rubbing his hands together before he began to unscrew the cap of the vodka bottle. Pouring the clear liquid into some glasses as Mary looked to him with slight disappointment. But honestly, she looked as if she needed one herself.

Before Alex could pass the glasses around, the warmth of a gentle hand laced around April's under the table. She hid her startlement exceptionally well, even when the hand gently squeezed.

She knew what it meant. It meant _I'm glad you decided to stay_. It meant _I'm glad you're enjoying the shitty party_. It meant _I'm pissed you tried to use the cowgirl thing against me._ It meant. It meant a word that neither could bring themselves to admit openly. They didn't have to. Maybe it was a sappy declaration of what both of them already knew, but it was just between them. It was something they could talk about later.

April squeezed back in response.


	11. In The Moment

**_I'm going to treat you with two new chapters because you have been amazing with the response of this!_**

**_Honestly, thank you so much I cannot begin to describe how grateful I am :D_**

**_With that done, on with the chapter..._**

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><p><em>"Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible - it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could."<em>

_**Barbara de Angelis**_

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><p>The party had carried on for a few hours longer until Alex and Mary went off to get some sleep before they began moving again. Gareth and April had remained in the kitchen, left to clean up the left overs. Or more, April had tried, but Gareth was adamant that she was to do nothing.<p>

She sat on the edge of the counter, kicking her legs like a child as her mind was a little muddled from the alcohol. She'd only had about three shots worth, even so, vodka had never sat well with her as seen from her short tale with the alcohol cabinet. April watched Gareth clean everything away, packing the crisp packets into the backpack that had finally made a reappearance.

The way he worked amused her.

He caught her smirk, zipping the bag up as he stood with his arms crossed.

"Something funny?" He asked, to which April just shrugged her shoulders with a little pout. She honestly didn't know why she found his OCD like reflexes humouring her, it just did, then again the alcohol could have clouded her judgement.

He made a small _hm_ sound before slipping off the jacket he hadn't seemed to have taken off, except for the time he had wrapped it around April's shoulders when she was broken. It had only been the day before, and yet it seemed like years had passed. He slugged it over one of the chairs of the oak table, meandering towards April so that he was directly in front of her.

"You ready to talk about it? Or do you want to sober up first." He asked diplomatically, knowing full well the side effects of vodka and how it affected brain capacity towards simple things. Basically, it made you do stupid shit you wouldn't have done if you were moderately sober.

She didn't care when they _talked about it_. No matter how drunk or sober she was, there was no right answer to something so trivial. She just smirked at him, secretly knowing what was meant to be done. It made something stir inside her that she couldn't place.

"Do we really need to talk about it? What exactly is there to talk about?" She challenged, and he heard the hidden message and actually flushed a little. He was insecure. Hell, he was willing to admit he was terrified.

And yet he felt compliant.

"No" he said. "I guess not."

He leaned forward awkwardly, slowly, biding his time as if they had time to spare. It was only a small kiss, barely a second, but it held more comfort than the one he had pounced on her the day before. They both had closed their eyes in unison, taking the moment in, keeping a clear head as was possible. They had to know whether it was a good idea or not.

He pulled back only slightly, eyes still closed until he opened them to stare at the expression on April's face;

It was less horrified, that was a plus right?

Even though it was a short kiss, he still felt breathless, almost admitting to being disorientated but to be fair he had ingested the most shots out of everyone. Finally April's eyes opened to meet his, telepathically hearing the question that was rolling around inside his skull. Eager.

"I think I could work with this." She replied with her typical smirk that seemed to mock at his breathlessness. He only huffed back, tenderly using a hand to push a few strands behind an ear. A pained expression fell over her features, one she attempted to hide but it was difficult with Gareth standing so close.

"Your shoulder?" He asked, a faint nod being her answer. "I'll see if we have some painkillers."

He disappeared hastily and as soon as he was out of earshot April hissed, hand grazing over the bandaged wound. Whatever Mary had given her before had worn off in that second, causing a pain nearly as strong as the original blade piercing it.

The other hand leaned against the counter as painful tears squeezed out of her eyes. It definitely had good timing, the compassionate moment fumbling her brain a little. What she said had been true, of course, but then worry had wormed its way into her head.

What if something happened along the way?

What if they would make things between them worse?

What if they got the other killed?

What if?

Just what if.

_Stopping being so paranoid_. April told herself sternly, shaking her head at her irritationally anxious behaviour. If things did go wrong, they would get through it, all of them.

Gareth returned with an orange translucent bottle. He filled one of the glasses they had used earlier with fresh water, the tap thankfully working as he popped the lid off and handed her the glass and a white tablet.

"Thank you." She murmured, swallowing the tasteless tablet wth the help of a gulp of water. It didn't immediately kick in, but she did feel less pain at the mere thought of it being subdued by the medicine. He turned and left to pack the painkillers away, April deciding to remain on the counter until the painkiller removed most of the pain. Still, she gulped down the rest of the water, the luxurious feeling of not being dehydrated was one she savoured.

"Alex and Mary aren't up yet. When Alex does get up be prepared for him to be pissed, he's the worst when he's hungover." Gareth explained as he returned yet again.

"Duly noted." April replied with a small laugh. That would be an interesting sight.

The room fell into a deafening silence, Gareth wearing an expression of inner turmoil that April had experienced only moments before.

"I'm scared." He finally spoke, his eyes shifting from the floor to her face. His was face passive, but the tone in which he used sounded like an apology in her ears. "I'm scared that...everything we've done. Everything we will do. That it will mean nothing, become nothing. I'm scared that the world now will never get better, I mean, we can't go back to how it was before, its too far gone for that. I just-" He stopped, an exhausted huff escaping his throat before he swallowed and finished his confession.

"I'm scared that one day I'll lose everything...and I'll do something terrible. I don't want to become that. Because terrible will turn into barbaric, and then it will turn into revenge and when has revenge ever helped anybody? You called me a hero once. I don't want to turn into the villain." He strained, the words bitter on his tongue but he knew he had to say them, at least to someone.

April jumped off of the counter, not even thinking about the pain that would be inflicted as she placed a hand on either side of his face. She stared into the brown, searching for the fear so that she could eradicate it, exorcise it.

"_You are not a bad person_." She said firmly. "No-one is a natural born leader, we have to learn, and with learning comes failure sometimes. But I promise you, I will _always_ pull you back, no matter how far you go I will _always_ be there to help you come back. Because you did the same for me."

She felt the wetness of a tear slide down her face. His eyes followed it, cautiously bringing up a hand to wipe it away with a tender thumb. He kept the thumb against her cheek, sculpting it over her jawline. It was tempting.

Before April could stop herself, she pulled his face close and kissed him passtionatly. It wasn't rushed, just a slow exploration as the world around them became intense all of a sudden: the colours, the sounds, the sensations. All of it was heightened.

He moved closer, pressing up against her as one hand ended up at her waist while the other ghosted over her cheek. The hands on his face seared like ice, scolding the flesh as a hand slid up to tug at his hair. The sensation caused his heart to miss a beat.

He could feel her hands move to clasp around his neck, enticing him as she took step backwards until her back was bombarded with the corner of the counter. He empathised with her lust, but it was different to that that was normally felt. This lust was more desperate. They wanted to be _loved_. It was actually depressing, but the rush that consumed him allowed the thought to be casted out.

His hands moved down over her body, cupping her inner thighs so that he could lift her back onto the counter. The slight elevation made a smile tug at her lips, the movement causing him to smother it in an act of defiance. The playful nature hid the darker aspect, how now the thought of losing her would be as mortifying as losing his family.

For once he didn't mind showing weakness, showing he had a pressure point. Fuck it, was all he could think on weakness; it was the best damn kiss he had ever had. It melted his worries away, and he knew, it was only that moment that they would be truly gone. As soon as it was over, those haunting worries would taunt him again.

They didn't deepen it, simply allowed it to escalate to the point where she began to lean backwards onto the counter with Gareth following uncertainly. They unlocked the kiss, lips ghosting over each other as they were both trying to catch their breath.

"That was-" he started, unable to finish as he lowered the hand away from her face.

"You say one jibe, and I knee you...it's your choice." She warned but there was a frantic nature in her voice, and all he could do was huff a laugh at it. However, he knew better than to test her warning, knowing she would do it without a second thought. He stepped away, giving April enough space to lean forwards again. She seemed disorientated herself.

Gareth stared at her, leaning his hands against the opposite set of countertops as he focused on getting his breath back. She looked different now, he never understood how that worked. People just looked different once you got past a certain barrier, like you saw them for what they really were. And what he saw, made his stomach flip.

"I love you." He blurted out, it taking all his will power to restrain his hands from flying up to cover his mouth. It was pointless. The words had already left his marked lips. "I've known you for a little more than a week, but fuck it, fuck all of it. I love you April." He repeated with more genuintity in his voice. She stared at him wordlessly, barely moving a muscle. He couldn't read her expression at all, and in that moment he really _needed_ to know what she was thinking.

April shimmied herself off of the countertop, walking forwards to stand in front of him, causing more urgency in his eyes. She sighed, before burying her head into his chest, the nuzzling out of charactar but he didn't protest.

"I love you too. You persistent son of a bitch." She joked, but it made him smile as he placed his chin atop her head, wrapping his arms around her as if anything was about to snatch her away from him.

The worries scratched at his mind again But he thwarted them away for a little while longer.

"Yep, and you're stuck with me, Barbie."

"I could still knee you, you know?"

"What? And ruin our chances of having children?"

April scoffed at that, pulling away only to slap a hand on his chest, eyebrows creased at the ludicrous idea of children. He raised his hands in fake defence, it wasn't a bad thought. But even he admitted it was an idiotic thing to say, because of her history, because of the world around them.

No child should ever be put through what the world was now.

"Now that is going too far, maybe having a psychopath of a boyfriend was a bad idea." April countered, but Gareth met up to her games with a word for word quote of his own.

"I'm not a psychopath I'm a high-functioning sociopath, do your research." He said with a little tilt of his head, causing April to cover her mouth so that he didn't see her grinning smile. They were laughing. Together. As if everything was normal, like the old days before everything changed.

Maybe they could make it work.

"But honestly. Do you really want to do this?" He asked with all seriousness. April dropped the hand away from her mouth and leaned forward to plant a soft kiss on his cheek, coming back with a toothed-smile on her face and a glint in her eyes that welled him with pride. He had made her _happy_.

"I maybe a little drunk, but, I know what I want. I want to be part of your family Gareth. And if that makes me selfish then screw it, being here with you, this whole party has been the best day of my life. I don't care how cheesy that sounds either. If my family is dead, they're dead, I can't change that and I'm sorry that I'm not with them. But I can start over, fix what I let be broken, and I wouldn't want to do that with anyone else but you." She finished, pulling her t-shirt down from her shoulder to have the white bandage on show.

The wound didn't pulsate rapidly radiant heat now, but she dared not place anything other than the flimsy material of her t-shirt over the top of it.

"As far as I'm concerned, you owe me, so you're stuck with me."

She pulled the fabric back up to cover the seemingly healing wound. He couldn't quite believe she was being so open about all of it, about leaving her family behind to start one with him. It was so surreal. A little more than a week ago she had sunk her teeth into his palm. At the memory, Gareth pulled the hand up to see that only one or two marks were left. He turned his hand so that April could see the faint tooth marks.

"_You_ owe _me_ , so you're stuck with me too."

He dropped his hand. His facial features dropping with them. There was one thing he wanted most of all, it was the one thing he wasn't going to let April abandon.

"When we find out what lies at the end of the tracks, if it's good or bad, we _will_ make it our home. We'll make it a place for not only us...but for Kaitlyn to feel safe too." He promised, and in his heart, he knew that he had marked himself to fulfil that promise if it were the last thing he would do. April stared at him shellshocked at his proposal.

"Gareth you can't-"

"We still have to believe she's out there, I'm not going to let you give her up, not for me. We'll make it our home, somewhere built by kindness to house those in need. And maybe, we'll be able to reach out to her, somehow communicate to her to find the place." He was adamant, but April just couldn't see it, shaking her head faintly.

"Even if there is something worth making shelter for, people will take that kindness for granted. Hell, I did at first."

"Yes, I know that's a risk, but wouldn't it be worth it just to see Kaitlyn again? Safe?" He argued, not exactly sure as to why he was speaking such nonsense. And yet it seemed like clarity in his mind, maybe they could salvage something from what the old world had left them. Maybe, just maybe, if enough people wanted stability they would take it and join a larger community.

They just needed a place to start.

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><p><strong>Finally getting some romance in there.<strong>

**Yeah, I'm terrible at it _ I just hope that wasn't too sappy, but I was in that sort of mood when I wrote this. There may still be slower updates depending on how many I get done this weekend, hopefully this might feed you for a while at least XD**

**And again, thank you all so much!**

**~BehindTheMasqueradeMask**


	12. Goodbye?

**I don't say it enough how much I am grateful for you all, I'm so glad you're enjoying this so much and repeatedly give feedback that just leaves me speechless! :D**

**Not sure what to make of this chapter, but the next will be better.**

**with that done, on with the chapter...**

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><p><em>"You and I will meet again, When we're least expecting it, One day in some far off place, I will recognize your face, I won't say goodbye my friend, For you and I will meet again."<em>

_**Tom Petty**_

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><p>They packed everything up and left the small town behind. Everyone carried a bag now: April with her sister's bag, Alex with the small duffle bag, Mary with a pocket-sized bag full of medicine and Gareth with the large backpack. For once, they didn't look vulnerable, they actually looked like a well-balanced group as they trudged up the train tracks.<p>

Gareth and April kept quite far in front, handgun and knife; they had to be the first line of defence. Mary and Alex had taken up a lot more strength though, Alex equipped with the iron poker and Mary had altered the mirror shard with a kitchen knife, the sharpened edge reflecting the determined look on her face.

That's what they all were now. Determined. They'd been through enough on the road towards what they hoped as shelter, now, they wanted the prize for their patience.

And they received it. They received it more than they could have dreamed off.

Gareth saw it first, how the tracks began to saddle up to each other from different lines, all heading to one spot in front of them. Most of the tracks had been littered with the falling Autumn leaves, the forest higher and more populated than ever as it shrouded the oncoming building before them.

And it was a building. A _big_ building.

Gareth stopped abruptly, eyes scanning the area for any movement, but he couldn't ignore the mesh fences that secured the building. A hand reached out behind him, a silent sign for Alex and Mary to stop.

"We need to check it out first." He explained, April giving a short nod of approval before the two began to cautiously move towards the fence. They crouched down, taking quick peaks through the triangular holes in the fence. They saw what looked like an old congregation point for the trains, unloaded train cars abandoned on the tracks. The fence seemed to go on forever around the place, possibly securing a full circle.

And it was quiet. Too quiet.

"Look at that." April whispered, motioning to the building's top windows. Gareth saw what she was pointing at and huffed a chuckle. In each window there was a letter in what looked to be black paint:

**T-E-R-M-I-N-U-S**

"At least we don't have to worry about naming it." He muttered, April just giving him a raised eyebrow before everything became serious again. "We have to clear everything out, check every crack. Thoroughly." He ordered, the simple instructions easy to follow as April nodded again.

"We actually did it. We found shelter." April scoffed in disbelief, Gareth turning to her to see a sparkle in her eyes. He smiled.

"We found a _home_." He corrected, squeezing one of her hands gently before they stood up and made an attempt to climb over the fence. It was relatively easy, the triangular holes creating some grip. Hooking their legs over, they jumped down and bent their legs, the impact slightly lower than they had first anticipated.

"Calm down Safari Sam." Alex grumbled, appearing beside them. Gareth had been right about Alex being an antisocial hungover, he was even more pale than usual with darkened circles around his eyes. Apparently he'd been up vomiting most of the time, Mary having to help him to the bathroom a lot although stains had massacred his t-shirt. April admitted to feeling sorry for him.

Gareth just sighed, bowing his head a little at Alex's refusal to listen.

"I told you to wait."

"I didn't want to, and you could've just used the front gate." He argued, pointing behind him towards a gap in the fencing, steel beams wove into each other to create a heavy gate. Alex may have gained a better backbone, but his imbecilic nature hadn't changed.

"The front door can hide what's really inside, going around the back you can see past the illusion. Did you never watch crime or horror movies?" April asked, and Alex just shrugged his shoulders. She took that as a no.

"Doesn't exactly matter now, huh?" He mumbled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. April shook her head.

"Might as well go altogether now." She told Gareth, and he seemed to contemplate on the thought before agreeing. They didn't have to worry what the others were up to at least, and if there was an ambush, they would be in slightly larger numbers.

"Okay, get Mary and then we can head in."

"No need." Mary said, appearing behind Alex. She seemed to be the most sculpted in April's eyes. After she had attacked her in a blind panic she had become stronger, believing in herself more, confidence glowing around her. It was surreal at least, but it was a welcomed change, it was as if Mary had had her wake up call, that if she were to keep the promise she had made, then she would have to fight for it, not shy away.

There was a stronger bond between them. This was shown as Gareth and Alex went off in the direction of the main building, instructing Mary and April to analyse the main courtyard-like area until they returned.

April was a little insecure at the orders, but Gareth silently comforted her that everything would be okay with a little tilt of his head. Her words of wisdom before had seemingly rubbed off on him. She still wasn't sure, but kept quiet as the two women walked side by side. It only took a few steps before they were engulfed into a central outside dining area, perhaps where the workers would have devoured the food their wives had packed for them.

Tables, benches, chairs were left abandoned, some broken into pieces while others were only toppled over. The place was a mess in general, it wasn't hard to imagine the workers scurrying about in mass panic. Back when all of it started.

April stared up at the sky, seeing that all the buildings seemed to align around the dining area, as if shielding it. However, sunlight still shone high above them, radiating the ground's temperature so that spirals of heat distorted some of the further objects.

It was a welcoming sight.

"This place is amazing, more than we could have ever dreamed of." Mary said in awe, but April was still not convinced.

"Remember what I said about the front door? If someone is smart, they make the illusion in the living room too." She muttered, imagining the dining area in full view of a window, where anyone can peer in and see all the unspoken secrets of the person that lives there. It was a hypnagogic idea, but one that had to be taken seriously in the new world.

"Well, it isn't an illusion from where I'm standing." Mary replied, walking towards the fallen chairs and began to stand them up. "Neither is you and Gareth."

April suddenly became cold.

The tone Mary used was very nostalgic, back to the time when she had asked April personal questions on their first venture. It made April wary, perhaps even a little offended that Mary had stooped that low towards her again, especially after everything.

"It may not be obvious to Alex, but it is to me. And while I am thrilled because you've made such a change in him..." Mary stopped only to slam the legs of the chair onto the concrete floor, creating a booming crack in April's ears. Mary turned to her with complete honesty in her eyes. "But if you hurt him, I will _never_ forgive you."

April swallowed loudly, caught off-guard by this radical change in such a woman who had been kind to her for so long. She was the one that had sparked that kindness in April herself, who had brought back the belief, and yet here she was becoming threatening.

"I don't want to hurt him, that's why I stayed." April argued delicately, but Mary just cocked her head, having stood all the chairs up again she moved to stand in front of April with her arms crossed.

"Is it? Because if you were half the woman I thought you were, you would have gone even before that was healed." She said, wavering a hand to April's shoulder. That's when realisation crawled its way into her mind and created a heartbreaking clarity.

Mary hadn't wanted her to stay. The party was her saying goodbye. Not offering for her to join them.

So much for the bond. Apparently her judgement on people had faltered.

"Mary I care about him-"

"Care and love are two very different things, child." Mary scolded, and it took April aback, physically taking a step backwards as it struck her in the heart a lot more than it should have done. She couldn't believe she was hearing this, from Mary, Kind Mary who she had expected to be happy for them.

She didn't like the way she had said _child_ either. It made her feel small, arrogant and naive.

"Now I am telling you this, not as a threat, but as an observation of someone who knows Gareth better than anyone." Mary said all business-like, stepping forward with that demonic flame in her eyes. "You can walk away now with these, and cause as little damage as possible. Or you can stay, and break is heart further down the line which will be much worse." Mary explained, pulling off her bag of medicine and holding it out to April. Her face was sour, giving April no choice at all, the latter option being said with bitterness.

Tears welled in April's eyes.

"I thought-"

"You thought you would just be accepted into our family? You were right, you are a selfish mother. Your daughter is out there alone, frightened...and all you can think about is caring for a man you met less than a few weeks ago." Mary said with a raised voice, one that turned April's stomach.

"Gareth said-"

"Gareth is reckless, always has been, and whatever he promised you is more delusional than those people who see this as a plague from God. And you are idiotic for believing him, making him think in such a pointless way."

She did feel like a child, being yelled at by her sister for being such a disappointment.

_Sometimes I wish you hadn't of been born too, so I wouldn't have to keep saving you from yourself._

The words echoed hatefully inside her head. In fact, millions of voices echoed inside her head like a tsunami of the dead, writhing and spinning their little webs inside her mind. Causing catastrophe.

_"Remember the rule girls: no-crying in the boat..."_

_"Believe this was your handy work..."_

_"W-we weren't f-following you, I s-swear. Please, just don't kill me!"_

_"I love you..."_

_"Maybe, but as long as there's kindness in the world, there's hope..."_

_"I've known you for less than a couple of weeks, but fuck it, fuck all of it. I love you April..."_

_"Promise you'll come back..."_

_**"Promise you'll come back."**_

Tears trickled down April's face, and she hadn't realised she was shivering.

What had happened to her? Truly? What had happened to the strong-willed woman who was ready to slit a man's throat? What had happened to the woman who could take on a Cold Body...Meany...without a second thought but now sobbed because of nightmares?

What had happened to April Jessica Harris?

"So what...w-what I'm just supposed to leave now?" April stuttered, becoming hysterical as rage boiled in her veins. She wasn't even angry at Mary, maybe a little for the woman being right, but mostly at herself for allowing these people so easily into her heart.

"Now's probably for the best with the boys gone. Means you don't have to worry about saying goodbye." Mary replied robotically, the bag still hanging from her hand.

"I-I didn't _want_ this." April cried, and it was only a last-minute ditch to show Mary how hard this was on her. She didn't want to leave, not now, not after everything. She should have left right at the start.

"No, you wanted security. You wanted _to be_ wanted. The truth is you've been weak since the start, weakness for family. I can empathise with that. But I cannot allow you to drag Gareth with you. And if you were a good person, if you really have changed...then you will _go_." Mary said firmly, right into April's disheveled face.

April stared into the lifeless eyes of the old woman, and saw no redemption in them.

She snatched the bag out of her hands and slung it over her shoulder. There was a pause, and Mary's eyes flickered for only a second, the flicker that of sorrow.

"Thank you...and good luck." Mary said, but it was just an illusion of gratitude, the woman had beaten April fair and square. April did not glare or hate this woman. She did not grab her knife or raise her voice; she just wiped away the acidic tears with her arm and spun around to walk back towards the front gate.

She didn't even look back. Couldn't bring herself to because of the temptation to disobey Mary was almost obsessively strong.

Some birthday it was. From the ecstatic feeling of acceptance to now being completely numb as she walked away from what could have been her home.

She was _pissed_. Pissed how she had let it get this far. Pissed that Mary had to point it out to her and so harshly.

She was pissed at being accused of as _weak_.

Her feet suddenly stopped, right where the tracks levelled together before entering Terminus. April was paralysed, afraid of what loomed in the recesses of the forest. True the moans weren't audible, but they would be eventually. Being alone was so frightening now.

_Do I go?_

It was such a bleak, emotionless question. But April repeated it over and over again.

_Do I go? Do I do what is right? Am I strong enough to do that?_

She had a choice...and she had to be certain which one she was going to take.


	13. Remember

**_I knew a lot of you weren't very happy with Mary in the last chapter XD, but hopefully after this one you'll see it has done some good._**

**_thank all once again for enjoying this so much. Writing this actually got me back into writing my own stories as I lost a lot of inspiration and actual confidence to write it. So thank you all ^.^_**

**_with that done, on with the chapter..._**

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><p>"Forgiving<em> does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future."<em>

_**Lewis B. Smedes**_

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><p>The birds sung in the early morning dawn, high up in their nests as the sun rays drifted and weaved in-between the naked trees of the woods. The hardened earth wasn't infested with white frost, at least not yet but eventually the winter would draw in. It always did.<p>

The seemingly serene environment was interrupted by the crack of a gun shot, followed by the thud of a fresh corpse thundering to the ground. It was the corpse of a matured stag, a bullet wound directly above the left unknowing eye; the moisture mimicked a fallen tear.

There was silence for a moment, even the birds stopped their songs as a rifle was pointed downwards, the metallic parts clicking as the hands that held it shivered.

Gareth solemnly stared at the stag he had just shot, metres away and yet he could see the mangled fur shifting in the light breeze of the woods. He sighed, whitened fog spiralling out of his mouth. The grey jumper constricted his breathing so that he could only let out short gasps. Still, it kept out the cold. It was practical as winter drew closer.

He sported brown trousers with relatively stiff walking boots, the brown fabric held little faints of age. They had been blessed with new clothes, and not only that, but a wide range of food that could last them at least half of the winter. It may not have seemed like much, but it was better than nothing at all and the stag would be an added bonus.

A bonus he hadn't prepared to lumber back to Terminus, especially as he had chosen to go hunting alone.

Company was just draining most of the time, especially if it was Alex with his permanent pity. That irritated Gareth beyond anything else. Pity. He didn't want pity or to talk or to be given advice. He just wanted things to go smoothly through winter.

He wanted to stop thinking about _her_.

It had been almost three months since they had arrived at Terminus. Three months since Gareth and Alex had delved into the nooks and crannies of the gigantic train station to eradicate any threats. It had been three months, since April had abandoned them.

He admitted to being heartbroken; he would never _openly_ show it.

Everyday he had the same routine of getting up early, checking the fences before going out on a run for food or whatever resources they could get. He would check the snares regularly too, sometimes finding one or two rabbits, normally with a Cold Body munching on it and subsequently making it useless.

He liked being out alone with his thoughts, without Mary or Alex trying to persuade him to forget or take pity on him. His mind set had been prepared for her to die at some point, that was the way the world was now, he had to teach himself to be prepared for that. He wasn't prepared for her to leave. Never for her to just _walk away_.

Mary had admitted to advising her to go, probably not the most suitable thing to say as Gareth had practically shunned her for the first few weeks before eventually asking her to explain. She said how it was better this way, she said that she would have just become a hindrance on his heart, she said how he needed a clear head to be a leader.

That was what Mary expected from him, was to be their leader.

It was an extra knife in his heart, and one that was still lodged as it dug further and further until it eventually stopped the beating. That was the pressure of leadership, one at times he wanted to hide from, but he couldn't run from it and he certainly wasn't going to give up.

He wandered over to the fallen stag, ears and eyes sharp as he bent down and figured how exactly he was going to get it back to Terminus. It was a big stag, much bigger up close as the scope on the rifle wasn't exactly accurate as the glass was cracked a touch. Gareth was surprised he even shot the stag, let alone a critical hit to the head.

He was quite far out, at least half an hour walk and that was dependant on how well memorised his pathway was. He had made it priority to remember all the routes back to Terminus without the help of the train tracks, just in case, especially as a few people had already started to follow them towards Terminus.

At first Gareth had been wary, giving them food and a day of shelter, but as his mind wandered aimlessly to other things he became less concerned by them staying longer. Of course Mary was the most suspicious, reading people, asking questions with kind features to find if their intent was of the wrong kind. They had been lucky to have none of those yet, but they couldn't hold their breath forever.

They couldn't depend on luck. Then they were truly dead.

"Next time, bring a backpack." Gareth muttered to himself as he pulled a knife from its holder on his belt, about to slice into a leg as it was the easiest part to carry. It would be a miracle if he returned to find it untainted or not stolen, and it was unfortunate to leave such a big game but he couldn't carry all of it back. It was a price he would have to pay.

He sunk the blade into the thick fur, the squelch as the metal sliced through the muscle didn't phase him as he began cutting back and forth in quick succession. It was tiring work, and to make matters worse blood began spitting out of the incision, quickly covering his hand in fresh red.

The stench was near unbearable. That was saying something with the dead smelling as they were.

The snap of a twig sounded in Gareth's ears. With a flash he had his rifle poised again, dropping the bloody knife as he swiftly stood up and pointed the gun in the direction of where his back had been only seconds before.

A woman with short black hair raised her hands, but there was sarcasm dripping off her features. Gareth lowered the rifle instinctively, sighing as he scowled at Theresa.

"I could've shot you." He scorned, but Theresa just let her arms fall as she shrugged carelessly.

"But you didn't." She said. "You seemed pretty pissed when you left, more so than usual. So I decided to keep an eye on you, bringing you back in one piece I didn't consider as part of the deal but it's a burden I'm going to have to put up with." She replied with an illusion of irritation with a smirk plastered onto her face. He just stared at her sourly before looking back at the stag. He wasn't going to reply, say nothing was the best option as at that moment his blood was boiling.

He knelt down, keeping the rifle to his side as he picked up the drenched blade again, pondering whether to carry on slicing or to see if they could both lumber it back to Terminus. That way, she could earn her extra days.

She had been one of the first to arrive at Terminus, a week or so after Gareth, Alex and Mary. She had been in a bad shape, barely coherent as she had been caked in mud, starvation making her body slim. They had fed her and given her a day, only, she compromised in helping them out to earn a few more days of recover.

Stupidly, they had agreed, although now she had become an honorary permanent resident of Terminus as she stayed longer and longer. Gareth had to admit her company was bearable, even if at times her sarcasm grated on him, like now as he scratched the stubbles on his chin and her nasally voice cut through the silence.

"You shot this? Either it's luck or you're getting better with that rifle, personally I think it's luck because you are the worst shot I've ever seen." She snorted, but stopped the humour as he ignored her completely. She shifted on her toes, Mary's hushed conversation with Alex pulling at her mind.

She decided to approach it to Gareth.

"I, um, overheard Mary talking about someone. Someone you knew." She began tentatively, watching how Gareth became stiff, before cutting more barbarically.

"'Course she would." He muttered.

"Must've been some girl if she managed to get more than one phrase out of you."

He didn't retaliate.

"What happened to her?" Theresa finally dared to ask, but she immediately regretted the forward questions as Gareth shot up and turned to her with the tainted knife flailing as he spoke.

"Why do you want to know? My past and the people in it are nothing to you." He hissed, but the fight wasn't in him anymore and so the tone didn't even falter her as she stepped forward.

"Look, I get it. You cared about her and now she's dead, well get over yourself already. People die, everyday, but we can't let it destroy us. So stop acting like a dead man walking and let's drag this back to Terminus." She argued firmly, seeming to have a more clear head than anyone. It was strange, especially how at first she had been shy and hollow. Now, she talked like a true survivor. Terminus had made her that.

She stormed forward and began to tug the stag with all her strength, barely making it budge as Gareth watched her curiously.

"You gonna help me or what?" She snapped, pulling him out of his darkened thoughts as he grabbed the second set of hooves, beginning to pull with a hefty grunt.

"And for the record, she isn't dead. _She's just gone_." He whispered, Theresa turning her head to him with a solemn gaze. There was no pity. There was just understanding.

"Sounds like she was delusional, I mean, giving up such a miracle as Terminus? Must've had a good reason, right?"

Gareth had hoped it was a rhetorical question, but he could feel Theresa's eyes bore into him intently until he answered. A second grunt escaped his lips before he answered hollowly:

"Yeah, it's called family."

Theresa bowed her head, ending the conversation at that as she could see Gareth would not say another word. Determination laced with sour washed over his face as they dragged the stag at a slow rate, barely getting a few feet before they had to pause and then repeat the actions again.

It was agonisingly slow labour, but it would be worth it in the long run so they pushed on with no whining.

However, the sound of pattering footsteps made both of their heads snap up. Gareth could just about make out a shadowed mass in the outskirts of the winding trees, and so pulled up his rifle in hopes of it concluding whether it was a Cold body or human. He squinted into the scope, the crack irritatingly to the side so that he had to move the close-up image to the left a little to get a moderately clear view.

It was indeed a person, and they were sprinting in an erratic fashion.

"It's a guy I think." Gareth said with doubt in his tone, but allowed the words to sink into Theresa's head. She was very distrusting of people, and that sometimes gave her a wrong judgement but sometimes right. It was a matter of fifty/fifty if you were distrusting but it almost always paid off.

"You're the leader." She sighed, hinting that it wasn't her decision as to what they did about the situation. Gareth had to think quickly, although the figure looked as if it had targeted them, it stumbled and swayed as if drunk. He could have mistaken it for a Cold Body, but through the scope the person had looked decently human, although he had checked the scope again to me adamantly sure.

It was a boy, perhaps a teenager. His features were extremely pale, hair as white as frosted snow as it glinted in the early morning sun that brought no warmth. Gareth could just about make out that the boy was wearing patient overalls, white hospital attire that only added to the disturbing look of him.

Gareth was more than wary; the boy looked deranged from a distance.

"You got a weapon?" He asked Theresa, eyes never leaving the boy that seemed to wander aimlessly now, meaning he hadn't spotted them at all and had just used up a sprint of energy. He definitely was a strange one. But Gareth couldn't look away from him, intrigued by everything about this strange teen.

"I got a Magnum, why?" She asked suspiciously, curious of Gareth's intentions although safe to say she was obliged to murder anyone if it meant her survival. She had to learn that the hard way.

"Just a precaution." He shrugged, beginning a fast walk towards the boy who had shifted slightly, walking straight towards what Gareth believed to be the direction of Terminus. He discarded the thoughts of the boy knowing about the place, he hadn't seen him near the fences before and considering how the boy acted he doubted he was sane enough to know left from right.

Then again, appearances could be deceiving.

He decided to stay a good distance before announcing his presence. He carried on climbing over the dying undergrowth, keeping the boy in sight all the way until he was a little elevated above him. Slipping the rifle to his side, slightly hidden, and spoke with forced normality.

"Hi"

The boy jumped, literally, body tumbling to the floor as he let out a yelp. Gareth wasn't expecting that reaction, attempting to remove the confused gawp on his face as it seemed to frighten the boy further as he began crawling backwards.

"Hey, I'm not going to hurt you." He said softly, raising his hands so that the boy could acknowledge his non-threatening nature. The boy stared at him with glassy eyes, chest heaving as his head bobbed from side to side.

"Hurt...hurt...hurt...hurt..." The boy repeated hazily.

Gareth sighed, he really didn't need a kid with _difficulties_ on his hands. But even he wasn't heartless, not with how the boy looked distraught and petrified of every little sound. He took cautious steps forward, but as soon as the movement befell the boy's eyes he almost screamed and scuttled up against a tree, attempting to shield himself with his arms. Gareth stopped.

"I'm sorry." He said quickly, crouching down to the boy's level. He looked as if this had been the first day of his life in the sunshine, the skin paler than any Gareth had ever seen. He wondered if the boy was albino, his appearance would match. Gareth caught glimpses of purplish marks on the boy's bare arms, they looked like bruises.

"Did someone else hurt you?" He asked carefully. The boy gently let his arms fall away from his face, his body shivering as darkened eyes analysed him with fear. His eyes were discomforting to peer into, the iris such a dark colour that they looked completely black. The boy swallowed, his lips quivering as he attempted to speak more than one word.

"Free...free...help..." The boy stuttered slowly, before his features lit up suddenly as his mouth moved faster. "Woman! Help!" He shouted, Gareth struggling to decipher what he was saying.

"A woman helped you escape somewhere?"

The boy nodded vigorously.

"Escape from where?"

The boy licked his lips, squirming as he concentrated on remembering the word.

"Where...where...where...wood?" He seemed to question himself, but as soon as the word left his lips he became excitable again. "Wood! Wood! Wood!"

Gareth hung his head, seeming to believe he was getting nowhere.

If only he knew...


	14. Redemption

**_Thank you once again for the amazing support, 70 followers?! It's crazy and I thank you all so much. Also, over six thousand views and 48 reviews, I'm truly speechless!_**

**_I may be late with the next update due to having not written much as I've been ill for the past few days, I don't know how long but I'll try and keep it under a week if I can help it. _**

**_Hope you enjoy,_**

**_with that done, on with the chapter..._**

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><p><em>"Hell is yourself and the only redemption is when a person puts himself aside to feel deeply for another person."<em>

_**Tennessee Williams**_

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><p>The celestial fireball in the sky was dimmer than at any other season in the year, the splendorous honeycomb-yellow melted the bitter frost that hung over Terminus. Many of its occupants elected to sit out in the courtyard, the benches and tables coated by large diamond-shaped apricot canopies that shielded them from the sweetened blaze of the sun that was situated high above them.<p>

Gareth sat across from the boy; observing him nibble at the cooked stag meat was like watching a squirrel with a nut. His eyes darted to every slight movement, his stick frame and unstable nature unnerving Terminus' residents. They would glance at him, glance at Gareth, and either go about eating quietly or mutter amongst themselves.

Gareth had become quite used to the nervous nature, he found it redundant but also understood that they saw him as the Big Bad Leader, hence hushed enquiries what pass around until someone brave enough would approach him. It was pathetic on many levels and time-consuming, but Gareth found he didn't have enough care to say something about it.

He rested his elbows on the table, rubbing the stubbles on his chin as he thought over what he could do with the situation. The boy seemed harmless enough, although it took a good hour to get him to trust Theresa and himself, taking even longer to get him to follow them to Terminus.

Theresa wasn't too fond of him, and that was an understatement in a half. As soon as Gareth had calmed the boy to some degree, she had appeared with her raised gun and assailing nature, sending the boy into a frightened fit. Gareth had fought away the urge to leave her there to carry the stag herself, although he snapped at her for being so hostile.

He was rather thankful to have his rifle at that point, seeing the murderous glare she had sent his way.

All of it was ludicrous over one mentally-challenged teen, though Gareth admitted to see the boy had a way with being too innocent for his own good.

After the difficult time getting him to trust Gareth, he had suddenly followed his every lead, walking close to him, even copying some of his movements like a lost puppy. It had sparked a responsibility in Gareth, one he knew would become a heavy weight on his shoulders.

"Can you tell me your name?" Gareth asked once the boy swallowed the tiniest tear out of the meat in his paled hands, the sticky fat staining them copper. He stared as the boy's fine (or more nonexistent) eyebrows creased, lips quivering as he tried to form his own name.

"Ai...dan...Ai-dan!" He replied zealously, causing Gareth to bow his head as he attempted to hide the smirk on his face. It was gone in a matter of seconds, but the humour he found at how prideful Aidan was of pronouncing his own name was something he couldn't help ripple the surface of his face.

"Well, Aidan. I'm Gareth, and that woman with the black hair who was with me before is called Theresa." He said with an attempt at cheerfulness, but it was wiped from his face as the boy's darkened eyes swirled with mass confusion. He realised what he had done. "Sorry, I guess too many names at once isn't helping."

Aidan made an expression of pure distaste, telling Gareth he was right.

"It's okay, we'll do things at your pace." He consoled, the uplifted smile on Aidan's face faltered Gareth's, hardening as his eyes flashed to the table. He saw it, clear as day.

"Gar-eth?" Aidan asked, frantic worry in his tone. Gareth hastily sat up straight, squirming in his chair as he forced normality onto himself.

"I'm fine, I just...I'm fine." Gareth coughed, emotions running through him so suddenly that he felt disorientated. It seemed that Aidan sensed it, emotions, face dazed but questioning. Gareth saw the compassion in those dark eyes. There wasn't a bad bone in Aidan's body. Gareth sighed with exhaustion. "You just reminded me of someone, it wasn't your fault." He added, Aidan analysing him as his mind turned over what Gareth had said.

Before he could say anything Alex stormed towards them, face flicking to Aidan for all of a second before looming over Gareth. His silhouette casted over the table, making Gareth turn to his younger brother with a passive expression. Alex may have looked solemn, but his eyes screamed sympathy.

"Me, Mom, Theresa and Martin all agreed for you to stay here while we go on a run." He explained, voice low as his eyes shifted away from Gareth's. He chuckled hollowly, shaking his head as anger boiled beneath the seemingly calmed surface. Aidan sensed it however, shrinking in his chair.

"You already trying to replace Mom with Mary?"

"Don't Gareth, not now." Alex warned, but it was wasted on deaf ears.

"Should've seen it coming, after all, she had you wrapped around her finger since Dad brought her home."

"Stop it!" Alex snapped, the screech of Gareth's chair across the concrete floor cringing as he towered over his younger brother. Alex swallowed a lump in his throst, but would not back down as his eyes sharpened. "Stop acting like you don't give a crap about anything!"

Gareth's hands scrunched into fists, shaking violently as his knuckles whitened.

The confrontation between the two was rapidly stopped as Aidan suddenly dropped the stag meat, hands shooting up to cover his ears as his eyes squeezed shut.

"No, no, no, NO!" He caterwauled, Gareth sprinting around the table and rubbing the screaming teen's back, hoping it would calm him down. The confrontation between him and Alex had been averted completely as Gareth's mind was only on getting Aidan to stop his insistent wailing.

"Aidan it's alright. Everything's - everything's okay." Gareth stuttered hopelessly, comforting had never truly been his forte and it had been some time since he last had to solace someone. Still, it was something right as Aidan stopped squeaking, humming softly to himself as Alex watched the whole scene with a grim facade, one that seemed permanently plastered onto his face as he took on more responsibilities while Gareth was _dealing with things_.

"Theresa told me you picked him up. She called him a _stray_." Alex said gruffly, not using the same good humour as Theresa had used. Gareth stiffened, eyes never leaving Aidan's face as it slowly softened into his apathetic indifference. The hands were lowered into his lap, head swaying as he continued his ominous humming through Alex and Gareth's conversation.

"He's not a dog, Alex."

"That's not what I meant but it might as well be. What the hell were you thinking bringing him here? The kid might as well wear a sign saying 'I'm an unstable nutjob'!" Alex shrilled, arms flailing as Gareth stood up awkwardly, finding his short burst of adrenaline was ultimately depleted to such an extent that he could barely stand without his legs trembling.

Being a leader was so tiresome, he sometimes wished he could just bestow it onto somebody else for a change. Or maybe, that was what Alex had been doing all along. Gareth looked at him, properly _looked_ at him as if he hadn't ever before. He _was_ helping his older brother, he _was_ trying to prompt him out of the dark void he had fallen into, he _was_ trying to halve Gareth's burdens.

And all the while, Gareth accused him of replacing their mother like the jackass he was.

"I'm sorry for being an ass." Gareth uttered, Alex scoffing quietly.

"There's an understatement if I ever heard one." He mumbled back, but there was a glimmer of sarcasm in his eyes.

"I know I've made this seem like a _dictatorship_ for the last few months, but that's not true. Yourdecisions count, they have _always_ counted and I've always been able to trust you. Look, he's obviously escaped from somewhere close, somewhere bad," Gareth said, arm pointing at Aidan who didn't even acknowledge the attention. "And it could be a problem. So just be careful out there, because I know you'll lock me in one of those damn train cars if I try to go on that run." Gareth huffed a laugh, his brother sharing the humanoid action before returning to his usual grimace.

He studied Aidan carefully, pondering on what his brother saw in the nutjob. Maybe he would never understand. He shook his head with a tired sigh, eyes locking with his brother's patient ones.

"I'll keep that in mind." He replied simply, nodding his head a little before he walked off to meet up with the usual band of _spotters_ as they seemed to be called. Gareth watched him go with pride swelling inside him, though this tangled with guilt as he knew he had made Alex grow up. Just like when they were children.

"Gareth?" Aidan's timid voice pulled Gareth out of his thoughts, his head turning to the innocent boy. The eyes were different, so different: electric blue eyes, the small strips inside the iris seeming to be lighter and more prominent. They were so captivatingly blue, that Gareth forgot how not too long ago they had been an almost pure black, a devilish black even though Aidan held not an evil bone in his body.

Aidan studied Gareth, features blank of any emotion.

"Woman said...s-said...find..."

Aidan suddenly bashed his fists onto the table repeatedly, frustration crawling in his damaged brain. Before Gareth was able to grab his wrists and stop the onslaught, Aidan's hands were crimson, knuckles scraped and raw. Aidan struggled against his grip, shaking his head vigorously and Gareth dread he might break his own neck if he shook anymore violently.

"Find...find...you-"

"Yes I get it, the woman who helped you told you to find me-" Gareth interrupted with disclosed irritation, but as soon as it left his lips realisation dawned on his tired features. Suddenly the adrenaline rush washed over him again, brown eyes widened as he hastily sort more information out of the troubled teen.

"What was her name? Aidan, please, what was her name?" He asked hysterically. Aidan scrunched his nose, trying desperately to do what Gareth asked him, wanting to make him happy. He searched and searched in his mind for the face and for the voice, but it all jumbled up and scattered making it near impossible to conjoin the two characteristics.

"Said...to find...you." He whimpered, Gareth's crestfallen face making him know he hadn't done what he wanted. He tried, he really did try but it was so difficult to do anything. Gareth let Aidan's wrists go, cupping his hands over his face as he felt frustration attack him too. He couldn't take it out on the boy though, he couldn't help being the way he was.

"It's okay, don't strain yourself."

"Mad?"

"No Aidan, I'm not mad." Gareth consoled, the boy's features lightening slightly. He patted Aidan's shoulder before standing up, depression seeping through his body like a fiery poison. "Lets...get you washed up, bet you'd like that right?" Gareth said, a smile forced onto his face as he helped Aidan to his feet, entwining arm-in-arm as the boy shuffled along with his own unique walk.

They'd left the courtyard behind and were beginning to enter one of the warehouses, a metal trough used to collect the rainwater had been pulled inside so ice couldn't contaminate it. Just as Gareth began filling an oval basin like the old-fashioned ones seen in the history documentaries, Aidan spoke up to say something that made Gareth not only weak at the knees, but sent all his common sense out of the window.

In a timid voice, one word fell from Aidan's quivering lips:

"Dolphin"


	15. Secrecy

**_Sorry to say this may be a last chapter for a good few weeks. I really struggled with the last chapter that I wrote, and have decided I need time if I'm going to make it worth reading as it seems to have flopped a little. I promise as soon as I get my head back into it I'll be uploading again._**

**_Even so, thank you for all the support and truly brilliant reviews. I know I say it all the time but it really brightens my day and gives me the confidence to continue when my other stories have flopped and begin collecting dust. _**

**_Ill leave that there and let you read on._**

**_with that done, on with the chapter..._**

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><p><em>"While all deception requires secrecy, all secrecy is not meant to deceive."<em>

_**Sissela Bok**_

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><p><em><strong>One Week Earlier ~<strong>_

The pain throbbed. It hurt so much.

The clatter of falling objects deafening.

The sound of gunshots firing was alarming.

And then everything faded to blackness, a blackness that held blame and unimaginable guilt.

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><p>April's eyes fluttered open days later, only to find herself in an unfamiliar room. Her mind was warped, senses seeming to be intensified as the clink of an electric fan pounded her ears. It was only then did she realised that she was lying in a bed, a soft one at that with an itchy sheet draped over her body that lay side ways.<p>

From the angle, her vision was tilted, and yet she could see how the room resembled that of a normal apartment. Next to what she believed to be the front door, was a mash of kitchen counter tops, a grey polish lathered above the green cupboards with some of the paint work chipped from what looked like shoe scrapes at the very bottom of the cupboard doors. An oval table sat in this small kitchen space, a bundle of fabrics atop it that April's eyes couldn't focus on as sunshine slipped through the cracks of a wooden blind above the kitchen counters.

She could hear excited voices and _laughter_ from the window, but it didn't sound sadistic, it was actual joyous laughter of a _community_. It not only confused April, but it agitated her as well.

_What even _is _this place? _April questioned, the laughter seeming to become more intense the longer she tried to remain in her own jumbled thoughts. It appeared to draw her in, not even allowing her to have the safe haven of her own mind. She didn't like that sensation, no matter how heartwarming and pleasurable the laughter was.

Reluctantly, she attempted to sit up, back pushing up against a metallic bed frame as she thought over everything that had happened. This made her mind scream for sustenance, the thing still trying to mend itself after the excruciatingly painful months of solitude.

Had it been months?

Time had seemingly slowed down since her departure from the place she dared not think about, in case the memory shattered her mind completely. In truth, she had been no better than a stumbling Co- Meany - for the past few months.

That she remembered.

Though it felt as if it hadn't been her that lived it, or more, someone else had told her a vague story and she couldn't remember half of what had been said.

It was mind numbing. But April knew she needed to remember what had led her to a room such as the one she was in now, and _fast_.

She remembered entering a bar of sorts, the vintage-styled bars with the wooden panelled doors and the round poker tables, the smell of cigars lingering over the place as if the men were still playing their rowdy gambles. It had been an interesting experience, that was until she was ambushed by about five Meanies all at once.

After that was a blank. April was just thankful for not having amnesia. Then again, a small part of her wished she did.

She wanted to weigh up the situation, she needed an escape plan if wherever she was went sour. That's what she wanted her mind to do, but it didn't, it just flickered and then died all over again.

She felt _broken_.

A couple of quickened knocks came at the door, April's head snapping to it with fear in her seaweed eyes. She waited for a while, wondering whether it was a Meany or indeed a human being. She assumed it was human by how the knocks seemed to have a rhythm to them that only a living, breathing person would use.

"_C-Come in_." She croaked, her unused voice strained.

She desperately needed water.

The water would have to wait.

For a man stepped inside leisurely with a welcoming smile on his face. When he turned to face her after closing the door, her heart thumped faster and she dug her back further into the bed post. Short brown hair, slithers of silver, hands on hips, and the eyes. The eyes may have glinted with supposed friendly nature, but April could not forget the killer shark's glare from her recent past.

There was no denying who the man was.

"Glad to see you awake, we were beginning to worry seeing as you were in a bad shape an' all." He said, a cheerful edge to his voice. She couldn't hear any deception in it.

He remained by the door, shifting every now and then as if he was nervous. But he didn't give that aura at all. He gave off a friendly face but the king of a pride of lions. The combination made April very wary.

"Good thing we found you when we did, otherwise...well I'm sure you know how it is." He shrugged off with a small laugh. April sat there expressionless, staring absentmindedly to the foot of the bed, eyes hollow and lifeless.

The man's features lost the smile, falling into a quiet sympathy as he cautiously walked into the room more. His boots resounded in April's ears, distant, until his weight made the bed groan a whine. April shook, startled at the movement although she immediately cursed herself for it.

She had become so jumpy, it would do her no good.

"You don't have to talk. I've seen what it's like out there, and that was with my people. I can't imagine what it was like to be alone out there." He said softly, but April could only hear her powerful heartbeat thumping in her ears. A large hand appeared in her field of view, she shivered as he rested it atop hers at an attempt of comfort. She wanted to push them away, scream at him to leave or do _something_.

She didn't move a muscle.

"You can stay as long as you need, we're good folk here, and we help _and_ house people." He said, squeezing her hand gently before getting up and moving to the door without another word, however, her urgent voice stopped him from shutting it.

"Thank you." she said simply, a quiver of her lips being an attempt to show her appreciation. It was something, and he smiled a white-toothed grin back.

"As I said, we're good folk here. I'm The Governor. Welcome to Woodbury." He said, nodding his head once before shutting the door and leaving her alone again.

She drew up her legs and hugged them to her chest. Before long her faint crying filled the air, she couldn't stop the tears from falling as she shivered uncontrollably. All of the emotions felt over the few months engulfed her all at once, flashes of half-eaten faces and not-so dead ones appeared in front of her eyes.

She _hated_ it. Hated being reduced to this victimised person.

She wiped the tears away with a rough swipe of her arm, finding fine hairs tickling her cheek as her arms were bare. That's when she noticed how one arm had been dressed, along with the gash on her shoulder that kept pussing with infection. They had been good to her, but still that face brought suspicion to the front of her mind.

Friendly faces couldn't be trusted, more so than a manic glare.

And the name, that screamed danger more than his eyes.

Standing up in a clumsy fashion, she walked over to the oval wooden-polished table. Sat atop it was a pile of folded clothes, and by the look of it brand new. A grey tank top with two fluorescent white buttons just under the neck, black cargo shorts with the rim trailing with white strands, a brown leather jacket and a pair of beige walking boots.

Carefully she slipped off her old ravaged ones and tried on the delightful smelling new ones, wincing a little when the grey tank top rubbed against the dressed gash on her shoulder.

Manuvering a small circular desk mirror, she was able to see that most of the clothes fitted pretty well, though she had to use a rope that had been propped up in a corner as a belt as the shorts came down past her kneecaps. The walking boots would give her some serious blisters, but it was a small price to pay for some decent shoes.

She avoided catching her face in the small mirror, just because she knew it would look like three stages of hell.

April set the mirror onto the table, eyes hollowly staring at the scratch marks in the polish-work top. Even with the refreshing clothes, she felt the same dampened haze wash over her, consuming, constricting tightly around her. It was more than a nagging feeling at the back of her mind, it settled in her stomach and tightened impenetrable knots.

But she could not place what had made it. Nor how to remove it.

_Maybe taking a look around might help. _She told herself, knowing that it would be good to know her surroundings, know which were strong points and which were weaker. And the people. She needed to know what people she was dealing with.

She hugged herself in a numbing embrace before storming out of the room, never seeing a small slip of paper that had tumbled out of the jacket pocket, feathering to the ground silently. In big black words scrawled:

**GeT To TERMINUS, SaFe.**

* * *

><p>April escorted herself a tour of <em>Woodbury<em>. It was a town, a working, almost natural town. That was if you did not count the barricade which held at least seven guardsmen at a time.

She didn't like that, of course it was practical but it made her feel trapped rather than welcomed. _Welcome to Woodbury_, his words echoed, they sounded kind especially with the smile. But the name, it sent shivers down her spine. She had to remember, he looked similar to the man Gareth had described.

Gareth.

It forced her arms to hug herself.

True the pain had subsided a little, enough for her to sleep a few hours but the mention of his name made her feel nauseous with guilt. She had done the right thing. She had to remind herself that. She would've just become a weight on him, same as he would do for her.

She'd given up on trying to deny what was the truth Mary had told her.

April hadn't realised she was standing out in the open, eyes on the barricade although her inner thoughts made her blind to everything happening around her. However, a short-haired redneck with creases of wrinkles over his rough face had noticed _her_.

One hand held a pistol, while the other was a metal contraption with a sharpened knife protruding out of the end, glinting devilishly in the sunlight. A less than humorous chuckle escaped his throat, raspy as if the redneck had smoked twenty cigarettes a day since he was thirteen.

"Well lookey 'ere, we got a blondie." He chortled, another guard next to him turning his body to wear the redneck's contraption was pointing. His oiled skin and short black beard was stony with focus, a powerful black handgun in his hands. His face was blank as he turned back down towards the ever stretching road just outside Woodbury's gates.

"Leave it Merle, poor girl looks as dead as the rest of them things."

"Nah, sugar-tits looks mighty _fine_ to me. Hey Martinez, ya think she's The Governor's new bitch? The one from that bar place up the road a little?" Merle enquired, still chuckling to himself as he eyed April who was still lost in her own thoughts.

Martinez stiffened his jaw. That was the one thing he hated about keeping guard, sure shooting the bastard things was good fun, but hearing Merle yapping for hours on end could drive any man to put a gun to his head. But he was useful in some aspects, and so Martinez just ignored Merle's irritating personality the best he could.

"Yep, she's the one from the bar. Had 'bout five o' those things on her, damn lucky we was there, damn lucky." Martinez said in his monotone rumbles, ignoring the first question.

"Well, we got the same tastes in bars, that's one thing right?" Merle laughed, continuingly checking April out until Martinez snapped his head to the older man with sharp eyes.

"Just do your job, and leave the poor kid alone." He warned, but Merle just turned to him with a daring look in his eyes, his mouth slightly open with a sneer, or more like a drunken glaze.

"Or what, Mexican? Gonna salsa my ass?" He challenged, before snickering at his own racist joke. Martinez swallowed the urge the send the butt of his gun into Merle's head, slamming him off the barricade where the _things_ could eat him alive. And they'd watch, and they'd to nothing to help him. Just allow his screams to be heard by the residents of Woodbury, to see how those things were just by their front door and maybe they would appreciate their guardsmanship more.

Martinez did nothing, eyes firmly locking on the road again as Merle became drunk on his victory, waving his contraption about with pride.

"Thats whatta thought." He mumbled, before returning to his pacing up and down the barricade, the knife lodged in his contraption uncomfortably close to the other guards as he walked, all of them sparing a worried glance whenever they felt the breeze of the weapon brush against the back of their thigh.

All of them did nothing when it concerned Merle, because nothing that flew out of his mouth was anything compared to what their Governor would say...Or do. Even Merle with his wise cracks and less-than-friendly way of speaking knew better than to talk in such a way in the prescence of The Governor, unless he wanted a bullet in his head.

April had watched the guards curiously for a while, unable to hear what the confrontation was about but something told her it was likely directed at her in some form. She noted the redneck and the oil-skinned guard, remembering their faces and clear dislike of each other.

It could become something useful.

She walked away from the barricade and into the main part of town. Friendly faces would smile and proclaim a welcome, even the children who played on the grassed flower beds waved at her excitedly. It seemed too good to be true. How these people had turned a derelict place into a home, like Terminus, so maybe there was hope for communities that prospered.

April was still wary of everyone though, but the heavenly pureness was difficult to ignore. Never had she been so easily welcomed before, and that was what made her the most uneasy. Maybe it was just judgement too soon, maybe she was condemning every face just because of one who striked her as decieving.

They couldn't all be bad, could they?

April took a long look around and only returned to the apartment building as the sun drifted way past noon, the sky beginning it's transformation into sunset. Her feet echoed along the wooden floorboards, The Governor's keen hearing picking up the clattering sound, hastily but normally opening his door before she passed him.

She jolted, started, but quickly refrained herself from showing fear. His smile was warm, and yet it seemed cold and forced all the same.

"How'd you like it here?" He asked cheerfully.

April removed the confrontation between the guardsmen earlier and attempted her own smile, it stretched her cheeks painfully it was so unused.

"Its brilliant. I just can't believe there is a working town." She replied, overwhelmed by everything. He chuckled, placing his hands on his hips. It brought back flashes of the man before in the distance, the eyes of a shark with a potential steaming gun at his side.

April abolished them from her mind.

"It's taken a long time to get here, but we made it." He laughed, the following silence deafening. She didn't like how his eyes glanced over her body. It made her squirm discomfortingly. "Do you plan on staying long? Because we could use the extra hand on the wall and you look like you could use the distraction." He wormed, the tone held a not-so-hidden persuasion for her to stay.

"I would but...I-I have to find my daughter." She thought of quickly, the excuse partially true. The Governor's face faltered, suddenly gloomy and aged. "She was with a friend when it started. I want to find her...dead or alive." April continued with pain in her tone, eyes snapping to the floor to hide her non-existent tears. If she had to play weak, then now was the best time.

"I also had a daughter, Penny. I can't imagine the thought of not knowing." He empathsised, the sound of his boots moving towards her quickened her heartbeat. His large hands caressed either arm, meant to be comfort but instead made her skin crawl. He was too close. She could feel his breath wisp her hair.

"I just want my little girl." She sniffled, tensing as his touch gripped a little too hard. She gently pushed his hands off of her, hugging herself as she tried to laugh her fake tears off. "Thank you for being so welcoming, but I should leave in the morning."

The Governor looked saddened.

"If you're certain, I can't stop you." He replied, defeated. But April very much doubted he would let her go that easily. She smiled evenly, eyes shifting between him and the floor.

_Let him underestimate you, it'll be easier._ She told herself as she shuffled towards the apartment she had woken up in, her front never turned away from The Governor.

"No, I need to find her and my family. But thank you, for everything."

The conversation ended, the smile glued onto her face until she turned and swiftly walked into the apartment, face falling into a determined scowl as she closed the door forcefully. She walked straight to the bed and sat down gently, her hands gripping the edge of it for support as her energy drained.

Being oblivious was becoming more difficult everyday in this new tainted world.

Her eyes caught sight of a crumpled white sheet beside the door, eyebrows creasing, she walked over and crouched down to pick it. She studied the words.

There was a long pause.

Laughter died away.

The metal fan stopped humming.

The world held its breath.

April savagely ripped the paper into chunks, eyes aflame with tears as she threw them to the floor. She stormed back over to the bed and scrunched herself into a tight ball, tears dripping and soaking the pillow as she cried herself to sleep.

Strength would not be her weapon against Woodbury.


	16. Obedience

**_Im finally back! And actually, not as much of a break as I thought. _**

**_I have some inspiration back, thankfully, but I may try and keep it to a one chapter a week deal until after next week as then I have the Christmas holiday to write as much as I want._**

**_Thank you all so much for the support once again!_**

**_With that done, on with the chapter..._**

* * *

><p><em>"A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down."<em>

_**Robert Benchley**_

* * *

><p>The next morning April was rudely awoken by angry bangs against her door. Her eyes felt weighed from the many tears she had spilled through the course of the night, finding it difficult to fall asleep as the sounds of Woodbury was still surreal.<p>

She got up quickly, but stalled in opening the front door because she was not in the right mind for another deceptive game with The Governor. Holding her breath, she opened it a crack to find it was only the oil-skinned guard that had been on the barricade the day before, stony-faced with slight annoyance at her lazy attitude.

"Got orders to help you sort out resources before you leave." He explained in a gruff disgruntlement, clearly finding the job tedious and a waste of his time. Truthfully though, it meant a few hours without Merle at his side, but the company of a stranger seemed to ill him as well.

"Thank you." April spoke dryly, leaning against the door awkwardly as the guard's brown eyes shifted away from her own. The brown was too nostalgic to peer at anyway. After a moment, he grunted that he'd wait for her outside the building and left without another word, boots heavy on the wooden floor.

"Charming." April scoffed quietly to herself, only turning to see if she had missed anything. She felt naked without the knife strapped to her side, but that had been lost since the incident in the vintage bar, although the hole inside her was still there. That knife had gotten her through so much, and now it was gone, just like everything else she possessed.

A hand shot to her neck, feeling the plastic dolphin brought some comfort that she hadn't completely lost everything. She sighed calmingly, using a brush that had been laid on the bedside table to remove any knots in her hair, resulting in eventually tying it up in a simple pony tail with an elastic band. She didn't care in using the mirror to check, and decided to not waste anymore of the guard's time.

She was barreling down the stairs when an echoed whine sounded near her, making her stop abruptly as the sound seemed pained. She waited for it to sound again, but there was just silence, April decreeing that it must've just been her imagination.

As promised, the guard stood leaning against one of two white pillars that lead out to the street of Woodbury. He was fiddling with a packet of cigarettes and so didn't notice April until she was standing next to him, observing the packet curiously.

He looked up, noticing her staring and offered it to her with a huff. She shook her head quickly, not wanting to fall into old habits but he just tilted his head and shook the packet again, offering more forcefully. With a sigh, she gingerly took one out and twirled it in her fingers, the shape and texture bringing back memories of teenage youth.

He had already popped a lit one in his mouth by the time April had even placed it to her lips, graciously accepting the zippo. She flicked the lid and lit the cigarette like a true expert, taking a deep desirable puff before handing the lighter back. He found it curious and unexpected, considering how she had been acting only the day before.

"I don't get you." He voiced, the cigarette juddering in the corner of his mouth. "What kind of idiot do you have to be to want to be out there?" He accused, but April only smirked behind the cigarette.

"What kind of idiot do you have to be to be a pawn for a guy like The Governor?" She challenged, and he only nodded his head in agreement, finding her sharpness again unexpected and alluring.

"The Gov's a man you'd least expect to be a leader, and yet here he is." He sighed, the conversation pausing as they both took long drags, April's green eyes picking away at him as he stared off towards the families that began their work for the day.

"Is he a good man?"

Now he looked at her, eyes flickering with shock for only a second before clouding once more, casting to the floor like a person does when they are cornered.

"Everyone's done bad things, there's no shame in that."

"Yes, but is he a good man?" She asked again, forcefully.

He paused in contemplation. He knew what he should say, but if his boss knew he'd be a goner within the second, he knew better than to defy his leader.

"That's not for me to say. Why don't you ask him?" He replied darkly, shutting her off as he threw the cigarette to the ground, stomping on it until the orange glow faded under his boot. "Come on, I've got my own jobs to be doin' rather than this shit." He grumbled, walking away swiftly so that April had to discard her own cigarette and chase after him.

She mentally cursed, the forward questions too soon.

When she finally stood by his side again they were in the centre of the town, children already playing in the flower beds or weaving in and out of the lamp posts. April noticed how his eyes glanced at them, full of pain before he looked away with more determination and stone.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be-"

"Yes you did, no point in hidin' it."

"I'm not the one hidin'." She mimicked, but instantly regretted it as he sharply turned to face her, literally in her face with his stale breath filling her nostrils. Her heartbeat quickened, not prepared for him to turn on her like that, she supposed he had a reason though.

"Let me give you some advice." He said dangerously low. "You stop askin' questions, you get what you need quick an' you get out of here sharpish."

Every time he paused he took a step towards her threateningly, forcing her to counter a back although it seemed futile. She began shaking, eyes glazed as she couldn't look away from his, like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Because The Gov is gonna make you wish we never helped you." He hissed, pausing to glare at her solemn face for only a moment before leaving her personal bubble, allowing the anger to wash away as he carried on strutting up the road.

April caught her breath back before following him, deciding that the sooner she was out of there the better. At least she knew that she was right all along; she was right not to trust The Governor.

However, she couldn't get the words out of her head. No matter how many people shot her saddened faces, or handed her resources or attempted to make her reconsider. She needed to get out.

Martinez had kept his distance, standing against the front door of any shop they went into, his scowl forever stuck on his bearded face. That changed as soon as he dragged her to the ammunition storage.

It was cornered off near the barricade, away from the happy faces. An ice blue faded iron door at the back of the narrow alleyway between two apartment buildings hid the deadly weaponry, like the dark underbelly of the once heavily populated cities, though now they were populated in a different way.

Martinez was in his element now. He pulled the iron door open effortlessly after given the all clear from someone already inside by a stiff lock grinding open. They stepped in to be met with dampened concrete walls. Free hanging lights sizzled with a dim orange haze that barely lit up a small circle of the storage room.

"Shame ta see yer go sugar-tits."

The vulgar rasp only caused mild chagrin. The redneck guard stepped into the haze of the bulb, the orange glow not making his features anymore pleasurable as his toothed-grin widened as his eyes rolled over her body. She instinctively pulled the jacket suffocatingly closer around her.

Martinez noticed her discomfort and stepped forward, speaking dryly.

"We need to spare her a few weapons, simple things."

"Izzat so?"

"Just get a damn pistol." Martinez snapped, the tension thick in the dampened storage room as the redneck's contraption clinked as he raised it in Martinez' direction, only to cackle as he went stomping off to find a weapon.

"Thanks." April breathed once the redneck was out of earshot, though Martinez only stiffened at her voice, shark-like eyes never leaving the redneck who was barely seeable in the dank darkness.

"I'd loved to say Merle's harmless, but I'd be lyin'." Martinez muttered, although he had never seen the redneck do nothing towards the women, he was sure capable of making any threat bloody within seconds. That's why The Governor kept him close, why he kept Martinez close; they were capable of doing what the others couldn't. At least, for now.

The redneck Merle returned with a gleaming silver slick pistol, the polished-brown handle appearing to be ominous in the molten-gold lighting. Merle stepped right past Martinez, invading April in an undermining manner that made an arm wrap around the other, squeezing the leather tightly. His body odour and stale breath mixed together into a gag-worthy concoction that attacked April's nostrils sadistically, and yet she hid her discomfort with an only slightly wavered scowl.

"Will a 44 Magnum do ya?" He asked with a surprisingly serious facade, one that April wished to be immediately replaced with the distasteful humour.

"A gun's a gun, I don't care." She replied with a warble, eyes shifting to Martinez whose eyes were watching the back of Merle's head with a laser-like glare. It seemed, all these men had were their scowls and their games, no-one would attempt anything more; The Governor had trained his dogs well.

April mused over the comparison, eyes brightening with a newly found strength that had since escaped her mind for some time. Now she could use it. Although Merle towered over her, she still somehow came off as unfazed as she leaned into his wrinkled face with green eyes deceptively electric.

"Give a man a gun and he's a coward. Give a man a knife and he's a butcher. Give a man both and he's a monster." She challenged with venom, watching as Merle's features hardened in a split second and she wondered whether she had gone too far. But then it softened, as best it could with the unruly wrinkles, a smirk cracking as he rasped a chuckle.

"Ain't we all monsters, sugar-tits?" He replied, thinking she was all talk, thinking that was all she had to offer. If only he could see the frightened young girl behind the eyes, behind those dulled green eyes, maybe he would see the festering insanity slowly dwindle that young girl away. Maybe he could see the insanity wasn't actually insanity, but a clarity of what the world was around them. If only he could see how he was talking to the wrong person.

She swallowed the choking dryness in her throat, and replied with a low murmur:

"_Some more than others_."

With that she snatched the gun out of his hand and walked away and out into the alleyway. She didn't get very far before she keeled over and vomited a clear liquid onto the concrete floor, an arm pressed up against the brick wall for support as her legs trembled under her weight.

It seemed the day had taken a much harder toll than it had out on her own, maybe her body had become so used to the adrenaline rushes and close encounters that normality just made her stomach churn.

And it did, evidence to how her head swam from the claustrophobic humid heat of the storage room, added with her confrontation with the redneck. She hadn't even vomited that much, having eaten nothing had left her stomach unused, although now it growled with vengeance from lack of sustenance as the other hand ghosted over her abdomen.

She couldn't even feel the presence of a stranger cautiously edge towards her. However, a shadow casted over her that alerted her of the person, eyes shooting up to be met with calculating care behind intellectual glasses. Dark blonde hair cut short into a type of side sweep, perhaps early to mid thirties, an unflattering checked shirt and beige khakis with old-man-styled brown shoes.

The man couldn't appear to be more of an intellectual outcast if he tried.

"Are you alright?" He asked with genuine concern. April wiped her mouth clean with the sleeve of her jacket and attempted to stand straight, only to flop against the wall again as dizziness took over her senses. The man jolted at her lack of balance, but made no attempt to edge closer.

"Just...exhausted I guess." April replied solemnly, the man's eyes shifting to the floor as he realised whom he was speaking with.

"I'm not surprised, from the way Ph-" The man stopped abruptly, face scrunching into self-loathing at nearly giving away something to a stranger. April could understand that, but was unaware of what he was going to say. The man suddenly stood up straight, looked April in the eyes and said with caution:

"This place is good. The Governor is good, I know he is...he was once and he can be that man again. But he's done things, things that many of us over look because-"

He stopped again, unable to say the words.

"You're all scared." April finished, the man nodding faintly.

"Just...listen. You'll hear it, don't ignore it." He spoke in a riddle before swiftly turning and walking away, leaving April only more disorientated.

He intrigued her; his words intrigued her.

Maybe staying for a while longer wouldn't be such a bad idea after all.


	17. Suffer

**_Im sorry for the late update, but this was one of the reasons why. I found that at this point I was struggling to write, found it a bit bland but I'll leave it for you to decide._**

**_As always, thank you so much for the continued support!_**

**_With that done, on with the chapter..._**

* * *

><p><em>"People are always selling the idea that people with mental illness are suffering. I think madness can be an escape. If things are not so good, you maybe want to imagine something better."<em>

**_John Forbes Nash, Jr._**

* * *

><p>She found herself sprinting to the apartment building, the sun peaking at mid-day as the early morning shadows burned away, leaving no darkness for secrecy as she trudged up the staircase. She made sure she was extra quiet when passing The Governor's door, managing to slip unnoticed into her room.<p>

Her head was pounding again, but not as severe as before as she firmly pressed a hand to her forehead. Se was only burning up a little, perhaps due to the sun's blaze rather than sickness.

She searched through the kitchen drawers. There was one thing she needed, one thing she had mentioned in her daring words against the redneck. April sighed with relief as she found a sharp-tipped kitchen knife, pulling it out of the drawer as to examine how useful it was.

A quick swipe caused a gush in the air.

It would do nicely.

She tucked it into the rim of her trousers, concealing it by the tank top as she laid her hands on the counter. She felt so disorientated, nothing seemed to fit as the stranger's words repeated insistently in her whirlwind of a mind.

_"Just listen." Listen for what exactly?_ She asked to no-one in particular with frustration, the cool metal of the knife bitterly cold against her skin. However, the blade caused comfort, an ill feeling of nostalgia as repressed memories pierced her mind.

_I can never go back._ She told herself sorrowfully. _But I can't stay here either. _

What she needed was to return to Martinez before he reported to his Governor. She would lose any sort of trust if he knew she had run off, then again, she doubted there was any trust their to begin with, but they would suspect something, unless she came up with a good enough lie, even then these people seemed too trusting for their own good. They trusted their leader too much. They ignored his antics and carried on as if it were normal.

The truth was, perhaps she was just overthinking this man.

What she saw before Woodbury was a man possibly shooting another, even then, who's to say it wasn't a bad man? Who's to say The Governor was just portraying that leader to fool his victim and his men?

Maybe her distrust of people was merely bitterness prompted by Mary.

But she couldn't be bitter at a mother for protecting her children, even if they do not truly belong to her. She was a mother herself, and no matter how much she wanted to hate Mary, she knew, if she was in the same position she would do the same.

Then why couldn't she just stop thinking about them?

"Because they are good people." She murmured, believing there weren't many of those left. She angrily wiped away the tears streaming down her face and left the apartment, barreling down the corridor as the image of the brown-haired woman projected in her mind, a kind smile but a hidden matriarch.

April stopped as a pained whine echoed from the lower depths of the stairs inside the hallway. She turned to the right, only to see that wooden steps led down into a cramped basement-feeling door. It was a blue metallic thing, rusted with age. April noticed how there was a flap, even in the darkness she could see that it could be slid to the side. Tentatively with her breath worryingly shallow, she walked down the steps, each one a pause before her hand reached out and touched the cold metal.

Another whine forced her hand to whip away, believing the person or thing inside had heard her gentle touch. The whine died away again, April placing an ear against the door, a shiver running through her as the sound of rustling chains increased her curiousness.

_Is this what you meant by listen?_

April tried to slide the flap across, but either it was rusted or locked on the inside, it wouldn't budge at all no matter how much strength she put behind it. As a last-ditch effort, she gripped the cold door handle, finding it turned with shortened clicks, allowing her to open the heavy door with a cringing creak.

A gasp stopped short in her throat.

April couldn't believe what she was seeing.

A concrete four-walled room with no light except for the ray made by the opened door. Hunched in the far right corner was a sorrowful thing, one arm covering the unseeable face. The other was strapped by leather connected to a metal chain, the chain jerking with the pull of the wrist, a ring lodged into the concrete wall.

The captor whined a whimper, a high-pitched fear that resembled a puppy desperate for its mother's milk. It was sickening. April cautiously moved into the room, eyes swirling with disgust towards the people that allowed this, and fear of the whines being moans.

Even with the poor light, she could see whitened hair and just as white skin that wasn't covered by the defensive arm. She took the risk of crouching on the edge of the _bite line_, just enough distance so she could scramble to her feet and sprint if necessary.

The person seemed to not acknowledge April's presence, whimpering still as the arm shook violently. It had to be a young man or woman. It wasn't one of the walking dead. Or it would've attempted a bite by now.

"Can-can you hear me?" April stuttered loudly, eyes transfixed on the boy/girl's face.

For a moment there was silence.

No whimpering.

Then slowly the arm dipped down to free electric blue eyes. But April found her own focused on the purplish spots around the heavy bags, how his bottom lip quivered as if he had been placed in a freezer. Though the room held a close comparison.

He analysed her (she assumed he was a _he_ by the masculine yet smooth sculpted facial features), electric eyes trailing over her before they rested on her own green. His mouth opened to speak, but no sound came out of the quivering lips.

"Can't you speak?" She asked after his features scrunched with frustration. He tried desperately to form words, but either nothing or a hum left his mouth. Without warning, the boy lunged forward, causing April to scramble backwards in shock. It was not needed as the chain halted him devilishly.

His free hand hadn't tried to grab her, instead it started scrawling in the dust that settled on the floor like a fog hanging over an alley. When he was done, he pointed to the wonky letters sharply, egging her to read the difficult message. She had to squint and tilt her head to finally read what it said.

"_**Nice...woman**_?" She read, looking up to sheepish but eager eyes. She attempted a smile.

"Yes, I'm not here to hurt you." April replied, and watched as relief washed over the boy's pale face. Thoughts of why he was chained up flooded her mind, whatever the reason she was not going to leave him like that. She honestly couldn't see a psychopathic killer in this boy's eyes.

"I'm going to help you get out of here, but I need you to stay calm. Can you do that?" She asked tentatively, hand reaching for the hilt of the knife as the boy nodded his head vigorously. She gently pulled the knife out, allowed him to trail his eyes over it as she repeated '_I'm not going to hurt you_' at least ten times before she began slicing at the leather strap. Still the boy stiffened, eyes widened with fear but stayed quiet.

This was what the social outcast had meant, this chained up boy, though how he could let this cruelty happen was beyond April.

_He uses secrecy and fear, remember that_. April told herself as she chiseled away at the leather. Using the knife was tiresome, and every second she spent in the vulnerable position the more her heart pounded with anxiety, waiting for large hands or a blade to wrap around her throat at any given moment.

All the while, the boy hummed to himself, prospering his spirits as the thought of freedom was the only one to linger in his damaged mind, eyes glazed with insanity-driven fog. The knife dug deeper and deeper, the teeth-jiggering sound the leather made was irritating but also undermining as she barely made a dent in the strong fabric.

She suddenly slammed a fist against the wall in incredulous rage, cursing the pain and her own stupidity. She stooped down even lower, eyes locking with the boy's.

"I'll come back tonight. I promise, I'll come back and I'll help you escape." She told him firmly, hoping the boy understood.

"Help...free..." He muttered dizzily, and April took it as understanding as she stood up and walked back to the door.

The boy began whimpering, the chains rattling as he tried to follow her. She had to practically drag herself out of the room and shut the heavy door, all the while despising herself as the boy's whimpers made her feel like a monster.

But she promised, she would return.

"I just need time. I need those resources." She reminded herself before casually climbing back up the steps and out into the slowly diminishing sunshine. Before the resources, she needed an escape route. The barricade would be suicidal, but it looked to be the only way in or out.

There had to be another way, a chink in the armour.

April leisurely walked through the town, monitoring the alleyways, scanning for fences that could be cut or broken. But as the day drew to a close she was losing hope of finding anything, her mood radically changing from anxious to angst. She found herself leaning against a lamp post, the orange sunset a surprise as she hadn't come across Martinez at all, then again, she doubted he was in a rush to find her.

That's when she saw it.

Right in front of her.

The perfect thing.

In the centre of the paved road, was a round patterned drain cover. At first glance it could go unnoticed, but to April it solved what she needed most of all, and it was just opposite the apartment building. There was only one catch, she was sure all the windows of the apartment building could see the drain cover, and the most important being The Governor's.

It was the best chance she had though.

It was the only chance.

"Hey!"

April's head turned to the angered voice, finding Martinez striding towards her with a stomp in his step. Over his shoulder hung a beige backpack, clunking with all the resources he had gathered for her no doubt. The expression he wore was way beyond rage, more so since April's face lightened into a tight-lipped smile.

"Sorry, I just wanted to take one last look around is all." She said sweetly, trying to genuinely sound disheartened by her leaving. It appeared to fool Martinez only a little, eyes narrowing although he didn't call her out on her bluff. "Do you think, I might be able to stay for just one more night? It'd be dangerous going now."

He studied her, unable to comprehend her angle.

He really did not like how unreadable she could be.

"I'm sure The Gov wouldn't mind, but it wouldn't've been that way if you hadn't ran off like that. I know Merle ain't the easiest man to be around, but he's a survivor, even if he is an asshole about it." Martinez grumbled, but didn't seem too angry at her as before, handing over the backpack in a _peace offering _manner.

"Thanks."

"Thought you might want to keep those close anyway, just as long as you don't use it on us."

"I'm not stupid." April scoffed, hooking the heavy backpack over her shoulder. Surprisingly, it didn't ache her back as much as it would've before everything, though muscles were easily gained when you were surviving.

"Well if you were I'd be surprised you've lasted this long." Martinez countered, shoving his hands into his pockets. A silence fell upon the two strangers, the people of Woodbury beginning to thin out as they returned to their homes, children moaning as they were told to go to bed.

It was a normal sight, a sweet sight, but the chained up boy wouldn't leave her mind's eye.

"I should go and get some sleep." April said softly, cutting the silence as she began walking to the apartment building, eyes locked to the floor as she intentionally walked over the drain cover, the satisfying feel of a slight budge put her at some ease.

"Wait up!"

April turned with curiosity twitching her eyebrows. Martinez had almost sprung a couple of steps just to catch up with her. He seemed tense, eyes snapping up to the windows and up and down the town until finally he gripped one of April's wrists. At first she tensed in the rough grip, but his eyes told her it wasn't out of spite.

He pulled a little less roughly until it was outstretched with her palm facing the darkened sky.

"Merle and the guys wanted to keep it...pretty unique weapon. Sharp. Reliable." Martinez said, placing a familiar damp wooden object in her upturned palm. A wave of confusion washed over her face, and yet his never changed from that stony mask. "But I'm sure you'd chop their balls off if you knew they'd taken it."

She tilted her head down, eyes flashing over the knife that had gotten her through the outbreak. Her fingers involuntarily clasped the hilt. The sensation brought some of that old fire back, but also dimmed it with memories.

"Why don't you leave?" She blurted out, unable to control herself. "Why are you his puppet? You could be a leader of your own group, your own people, and yet you follow his orders like some pet dog. Why?"

The questions seemed to take him aback, a huffed laugh escaping his mouth as he mulled them over. His hands slid out of his pockets and onto his hips, but the action didn't bring the same unease that The Governor brought. It didn't seem he was trying to make a point, make a statement, it was more for the sake of acting strong for the people. He wasn't trying to scare them, he was trying to reassure them.

"Because leadership is hard. It can drive a man crazy. When people have problems they bring them to you, and you have to have the answers, because when you don't people get scared. So I would rather be someone's bitch and be able to be myself, than turn into something I'm not. And if that makes me a coward then I really couldn't give a fuck." Martinez swore, bringing a smile to April's face although she tried to hide it in case he thought she was making fun of him.

"What 'bout you? You all bark and no bite or bark and bite?" He chortled, but seemed to already guess the answer by how she had spoken to Merle. He honestly believed she either had a death wish or just weren't that good with people.

"I'm just surviving. It's what you do, you make every second count. And first impressions get you killed or keep you alive, it's chance." She explained, and he seemed to agree.

She did have that survival instinct, but that tongue would quickly get her into trouble if she wasn't careful. Part of him wanted to say so, give her more _advice_, but he doubted it would make much difference.

"Well you just keep on survivin'. Preferably away from here." He said with humour, but seriousness laced his tone, features faltering as he knew more than he wanted.

True, she'd grown on him, he would admit to that. So the sooner she left the better. After a moment, a hand outstretched to her. A laugh of disbelief escaped her throat, he inwardly cursed her, but was surprised by her gentler grip as they shook in a truce.

It was over in seconds, and as soon as it was she walked away with a smile on her face as she slipped the knife into the rim of her trousers, the stacking knives a little ominous. Martinez was a pretty good guy, a puppet yes, but a good guy all the same. She wondered how many good guys were left, and how many of them were in the same situation.

What she did know for certain, was that she was leaving tonight...with the chained boy.


	18. Memories

**I'm sorry that these are so late but I've been really busy and have had difficulties with actually write this to a good standard, the next chapter is hopefully much better than this one, so I apologise if this is incredibly boring in advance.**

**Thank you for the continued support.**

**With that done, on with the chapter...**

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><p><em>"True nostalgia is an ephemeral composition of disjointed memories."<em>

_**Florence King**_

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><p>The metallic basin fell with a clatter to the concrete floor, seemingly in slow motion as Gareth's heart beat filled his ears. He didn't even acknowledge how Aidan winced at the ignitng boom, or how his own hands shivered, or how the water sloshed in the trough.<p>

One

word.

Just that one word.

That was all he needed.

He should've known, who else would send someone after him?

Gareth turned on his heels, seeing that Aidan was just as spaced out as before, not even registering that he had even whispered the word. Without really thinking, Gareth pounced on the boy, gripping his shoulders in a bone-crunching grip as he kept his eyes firmly on the boy's blues, finding they now sparkled with shock and fear.

He shouldn't have hurried towards him so harshly, not with his unstable mind, but Gareth was just too overwhelmed for the thought to process quick enough. He just needed to know. Needed to have more evidence to conclude that his hypothesis was correct.

"Aidan, I need you to remember. Did the woman have blonde hair, long, straight? Did she have a peculiar knife?" He asked eagerly, registering that Aidan was completely frazzled in his iron grip.

Aidan wanted desperately to remember. Wanted to make Gareth happy. Just wanted to give him what he wanted. But he just _couldn't_. His mind was so warped, nothing connected and only useless things remained. Like the memory of a frosted day, in which he was spun in a creaking merry-go-round, but could not quite remember who was pushing the frozen thing.

He _wanted_ to remember. Not only for Gareth's benefit, but just so that he could feel what other's felt.

His lips quivered and he whimpered, searching every ounce of his brain for some of the things Gareth was asking of him. He purposefully closed his eyes, the already aching grip clenching harder on his stick-like arms. He just wanted to shove Gareth away. He knew better though. When he lashed out he was hurt more, and so endured the pain of nails digging into his pale flesh as he attempted to picture what Gareth described.

It felt as if he was going to explode into a gush of blood when for the first time in his life...something _connected_.

His head snapped up from the slow tilt downwards, eyes somehow even more electric as the blonde-hair, the knife _and_ the dolphin all fitted together to form the shape of a woman. _The_ woman. He felt so giddy with excitement he momentarily forgot the formations importance, that was, until Gareth studied him with his own desperate tumult.

Aidan's thin lips widened into a maniacal grin, one that should have been uncomfortable to see but just seemed to paint the picture that was this pale, mentally ill teen.

"Woman...April..." He croaked, seeming to jump on the balls of his feet. "April! April!" He chorused erratically although Gareth just stared at him. And then so slowly, a grin sprouted onto his features, eyes aflame like that of a schoolboy as he truly showed just how youthful he actually was. He shared in Aidan's exhilaration, though he could never really match it as he released the boy's poor arms, apologising for the red marks he left behind.

"No harm." He replied cheerfully, unable to wipe the grin off of his. Gareth found himself resting a hand on his forehead, heart still thumping at the mere thought that April wasn't that far away, close enough to perhaps send people out to find her.

No.

If that was to happen he was going. No question.

"Was she in danger?" Gareth asked with a softer tone, but felt as if his heart was close to dropping if the boy motioned a _yes_. Aidan pursed his lips, brow furrowing, but shook his head sharply which caused relief to wash over Gareth. He really needed to stop with the paranoia. If the Cold Bodies weren't going to be the death of him, his frantic heart would be.

_Okay, this is good. This is okay. I can work with this._ Gareth told himself, though _how_ was another matter. He calmed himself down as Aidan stood awkwardly, likely still pondering on this wash he was promised. It would unfortunately have to wait. Gareth knew what he had to do.

"I need you to come with me." Gareth said, suddenly realising time wasn't on his side. Aidan nodded his head, giving permission for Gareth to drag him out of the warehouse and towards the courtyard again, the surroundings becoming a little tedious but Aidan didn't voice it. He still couldn't stop smiling, so happy that he had _finally_ found something that fitted in his head.

Gareth could never know what it was like, to have so many jumbled things clustering but also nonexistent in his mind. To forget names and faces, to be unable to communicate, to be so frustrated and alone. But now he knew he could piece something together, who knew, maybe he could piece other things together too.

However he was too exhausted for the venture of it, and so allowed Gareth to yank him towards a crackling grill that smelled scrumptious. The smoking deer meat was being turned over by a spatula, the spatula held by an older woman with a lump of long brown hair. Her back faced the two, and so Aidan could not see the woman's expression, but he guessed that this was to whom Gareth was taking him.

"Mom I-"

Gareth halted. Mouth open ajar at the fallen word. He felt embarrassed, like that when you name your teacher the same way, only it collided with guilt of his _real_ Mom. He could feel eyes watching him, ones that hadn't been there before the word left his lips, cornered even more when Mary turned around with a concerned but questioning look on her wrinkled face.

His throat felt thick.

He closed his eyes, pushed aside whatever guilt and embarrassment lingered in his head and carried on marching over (opening his eyes but avoiding Mary's hopeful stare) and plopped Aidan beside him in front of the grill.

"I need you to, erm, look after Aidan for a while. He's no trouble. Put him on the grill if you have to." Gareth explained, the lump in his throat seeming to make every word harder to say. His eyes shifted to the floor a lot too, resting on Mary's brown skirt that overflowed over her shoes.

_Suck it up already_. He scolded himself, wetting his dry lips as he spoke in a flash.

"I'm sorry for how I've treated you since my Mom died, and honestly you've been more of a mom to me and Alex than she'd ever been...I guess I was just too stubborn to admit that." He had to pause to breathe. Or more, so he didn't faint from lack of oxygen. "Please can you keep an eye on Aidan? I trust you." He added, having to pull his eyes up to meet her's. There was love there. There was pride there. There was a relief there too.

A warm smile sweetened her face.

"Of course I'll look after him." She whispered, motioning the boy to walk around the grill. Aidan turned to Gareth instantly, and when he received a nod of approval he shuffled around as instructed and stood next to Mary, keeping quite a gap between them. Still, it was amusing to watch as Mary handed the silver spatula to him, just as amusing as the bewildered expression that befell his features.

With some nudging, Aidan eventually attempted to turn a piece of meat over. His pinkish tongue poked out of his lips as he concentrated, eyes studying the slippery meat until a sizzle marked his victory.

Gareth found himself clapping sarcastically, like watching a puppy run into a wall.

Suddenly, he felt naked without Aidan beside him, shifting on his feet before he remembered why he was asking this of Mary.

He sprinted away without really saying thank you, but reminded himself to say it after he returned. All he knew, was that he needed to get to Alex and the spotters before they left. He was lucky in that respect, finding them checking their ammunition and resources before heading out of the gate, he waved a hand for them to wait, slowing into a jog as he heard Martin and a few others sniggering quietly. He didn't bother with them, more concerned with Alex's eye rolling.

"I'm coming with you."

"Gareth-" Alex moaned, exhausted with the constant need to tell his older brother to stop working so hard.

"Look, I have a reason." He said, yanking Alex's arm so that he could pull him out of earshot of the others, although he could see Theresa's head bob in their direction with curiosity over her features.

"This had better be good." Alex muttered, crossing his arms as he waited for Gareth's urgent need to join them. Gareth stalled for a moment. He knew there was a time at the beginning when Alex had a thing for April, he got over it quickly mind, especially when Gareth showed interest. He also knew that Alex owed April his life, when Gareth stood paralysed. He also knew, that Alex conversed with Mary about April quite a bit, though the subject matter Gareth never liked being tangled in. He just _didn't_ know how his younger brother would react.

"April's out there." He said simply, unable to elaborate into much detail as of yet. He watched Alex's features radically change from annoyance to alertness, leaning forward as his arms fell to his side, mouth ajar, disbelief the cause.

"Wait, what?"

"That _unstable nutjob_ was with her. I don't know when or for how long but he was definitely with her and that's not all, she's safe too, he said so."

Gareth explained with a hushed excitement, noting how the spotters were becoming increasingly impatient. The two brothers forgot about them for a moment, shock but also a glimmer of appeasement washed over Alex's face.

"Whadda you know, small world huh?" Alex laughed, but quickly stopped as Gareth's brow raised. "Im only teasing. Even so, you sure you want to go find her?" Alex added with seriousness, studying his brother intently as Gareth questioned that himself. He sighed, a hand rubbing the back of his neck as he thought over everything that had happened: before the outbreak, after the outbreak, meeting April, learning about her, kissing her, finding Terminus, April leaving, having Terminus grow and thrive...

"Things are different now." He answered with sincerity. "So hell yeah, I want to find her."

Alex analysed him, searching his face for any doubt that might be lurking.

There was none.

"Hey, are we leavin' or what!" Martin called irritably, Gareth and Alex snapping their heads to the spotters in unison. They did seem pretty hotheaded now. Alex sniffed, swiftly swiping a hand under his nose before turning to his brother.

"You make everything more difficult, you know that?" He grumbled, but flashed a smile. "Come on Loverboy, let's not keep her waiting."

The brothers trudged back to the spotters, only to have Gareth ruffle Alex's mass of curls into an unruly mass of brown hair, stuck up in every which way. They all laughed at him, even as he attempted to flatten the curls again, which was utterly useless.

Theresa had armed him with her Magnum, fully loaded, considering he hadn't had time to require a weapon if his own. He turned around only briefly to convey Terminus, finding Mary and Aidan in the distance, the boy absorbed in flipping the meat. The sight caused another lump to jam his throat, suddenly nostalgic of the teenage days when he would find Mary and Alex cooking, and of course, Alex was as clumsy as ever and got most of it over the floor.

He remembered once, when Alex had spilt a whole bowl of custard over him; he had hated the dessert glop ever since.

"You coming or what?"

Alex's voice pulled him into the present, abandoning the memory and Terminus as he turned to follow the spotters and his brother. Even though how many times he had exited Terminus' gates, how many times he had left to hunt or scavenge, he still felt a twang of guilt. Terminus had become his home, had become something that he had helped build, had become a part of him in many repects.

Yes, it was an abandoned station.

But it was _his_ abandoned station.

It was _their_ abandoned station.

And it would be a destraught day indeed when Terminus would be destroyed.

Gareth made the promise to _never_ let that happen. Just like the promise he had made to April all those many months ago, the one that he was still attempting to fulfil. He was still secretly finding ways to communicate with the outside world, in a way that meant they didn't attract unwanted attention. There was nothing. If he was to allow one thing, the risk of another was adamant.

He still believed it was worth it.


	19. I'm Coming Home

**_ I am so sorry for the lack of updates but I've been really busy and h_****_ad a massive block with any writing. Even so, I'm going to post this as this had been ready for a very long time, I may take another break I am unsure, but I hope you understand and now even the continued support is still leaving me speechless so thank you!_**

**_With that done, on with the chapter..._**

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><p><em>I'm coming home,<em>  
><em>I'm coming home,<em>  
><em>Tell the World I'm coming home,<em>  
><em>Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday,<em>  
><em>I know my kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes,<em>  
><em>I'm coming home, I'm coming home,<em>  
><em>Tell the World I'm coming,<em>

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><p>It had felt like hours since they had disembarked out of Terminus. The sun above had melted most of the freeze out of the air, however, The Spotters still found themselves cupping their hands over their mouths every so often, attempting to warm them with a gush of a breath. The Spotters themselves were the main form of defence, all knowing how to use a gun, how to kill Cold Bodies, how to fight etc. They were a formation of very different people and yet worked like a pack of wolves.<p>

There was Martin:

A young man around the same age as Gareth himself. He was never seen without his savaged blue cap, hiding his raven black hair, a stubbled beard around his mouth. You always knew where Martin was, if it wasn't for the never-ending rumble of a voice, it was the smacking of a chewing gum that alerted his presence in room. Still, even with his insufferable personality, he was a fighter through and through and carried most of the ammunition.

At times, Gareth questioned this awry of weaponry Martin possessed, who knew what he hid under the hoodies he never removed. However, he had never showed any actual signs of the traitorous nature, true, he insulted anyone and stated he didn't care about them and was just surviving, but he seemed to hold some loyalty to Terminus and Gareth himself.

Then there was Cynthia next to him:

A woman of thirty years, short auburn hair that moulded like a bob around her head, fringe ridiculously straight that hid her warm-honey eyes. She was one of the good ones, the sweet ones. She always had time for anyone who needed help with a problem, be it medical or psychological. And yet, when she was out of the comfort of Terminus' gates, she was as predatory as a lioness. You would be a fool to cross her during these times.

That was exactly what Martin did, but Gareth guessed early on that it was his way of portraying an interest.

There was Mark who hardly spoke a word:

Golden locks always stuck to his face by the sweat that poured off of him, late teens, stoic, pretty handy with a knife and much preferred the company of other teens such as Albert. The two had bonded quite well, though Albert was much more paranoid young man than any Gareth had ever met, the late teen was a good kid all the same.

Gareth often wondered whether there was something unspoken between the two. He was never one to pry in such things, but it was best to know the full story for future reference.

And then that left Theresa, Alex and himself at the back of the group, a swap of the usual _leader at the front _that always seemed to be invoked in survival films. It wasn't a sign of cowardice to remain behind the others, and they didn't question it as Gareth explained once that the leaders who stood in front of his group was more looking for pride and hierarchy than actual protection. He believed that a good leader would remain behind, watching their backs for Cold Bodies as it was easier for one of them to surprise them from behind than the front.

Nobody really questioned it, although it felt like he was really just pulling at straws.

They remained on the tracks for a good while, the crunch of the discoloured stones under their boots surprisingly subtle. The animals and forest critters singing or cawing or huffing as they always did, the natural music making them crave the days when music would drown out the world.

Music.

That was one thing that was always missed. Back in the days, music was the escape from the ordinary life, what got you through the stressful days of school and work, what calmed you down, what made you feel emotions when you least expected it to.

Without music; the world seemed bland and mundane.

Even the annoying Christmas songs they always used to play in malls would be a heartwarming sound.

Unfortunately, nobody really felt like singing anymore. Morale was important in a group. You had to keep it up. Had to keep them motivated. It was more than once Gareth had been woken by singing in the courtyard in the middle of the night, usually a few of the men who had found some alcohol on the scavenge and decided to treat themselves. Gareth would be too tired to argue with their jolly cheers, but _never_ joined them. Even so, the out of rhythm and cringingly bad voices was enough to remember why music was such a big part of their old lives.

It just made things not as bad as they were.

They turned off the tracks and began climbing up the bank and into the thicket of trees, The Spotters hunting or eradicating Cold Bodies as per usual since Gareth hadn't said why he was joining them. He didn't want them to know. He didn't care what they would have to say, but finding out their supposed leader was chasing after a girl like a lost puppy would not bode well at all, he had to appear strong, that couldn't change.

"Me and Alex will scavenge some of the houses up the way a bit. We'll meet up at the usual cabin in a few hours." Gareth explained, or more ordered as he waited for murmurs of acceptance or nods of heads. When he recieved these, he walked with Alex back onto the tracks, ignoring how Cynthia's eyes followed them; she was too observant for her own good sometimes.

"Subtle, Gareth, very subtle." Alex scoffed as the two sauntered along the tracks with ease.

"What was I supposed to say?" He snapped irritably, suddenly realising that he should have ate with Aidan when he had had the chance, hunger setting in in the pit of his stomach.

"_Anything_ else! We've checked those damn houses so many times, they know we're not going there for resources." Alex pointed out, but Gareth just sighed as he rested the Magnum back in his gun holder on his belt, finding that Cold Bodies seemed to be lacking as winter drew closer.

"They don't _need_ to know why." Gareth whined, and even he was annoyed by how childish it sounded. He picked up his pace, finding Alex copied as his head snapped from him and to the surrounding area every couple of seconds, clutching the handgun close to his chest. Paranoia was like this plague, it settled in before you knew it and slowly ate away at your sanity. Still, sometimes being paranoid was a good thing in small doses, like that of a vaccine.

"They're the closest thing we have to a council. They have the _right_ to know the ins and outs."

Gareth found Alex's voice muffle, no longer stimulating him.

"Hey!" Alex suddenly accused, sharply twisting Gareth's arm so they faced each other, the storm that darkened his brother's face was one that faltered Alex only slightly. "You said it yourself, you don't want this to be a dictatorship. Then let others help make the decisions, especially in times like this." He continued, words rolling off his tongue so easily, not like the days when he would sit quietly and just allow Gareth to do as he pleased. Those days of silence were long gone.

He paused, rubbing the back of his neck as he questioned why he was even letting Gareth do this. He had liked April. He liked the Gareth she had helped him become, but when she left _he_ was left with the asshole that wanted to do everything his way, to be secluded and keep himself away from people. This Gareth he despised most of all, it was the one that strained their brotherly bond so many times, and made Alex question whether he was just a nuisance to his big brother, the one he looked up to and the only blood family he had left.

That was why he was going to forgive April if they found her. He wanted his brother back, even if it meant him being reckless and searching for her like some crazed lunatic.

"I know why you want to find her." He said softly. "You love how she brought the best out of you. How all your worries just go away when she was around. I get it, you're like a hooked fish but when the rod's gone you just want the pain again, because it makes you feel more alive than ever." He looked up to a gawping mouth, and at first it confused him until he realised what he had said and what he had never told Gareth. Sheepishly, a smile washed over his face. "There was this girl during high school, okay."

"Really? Who?" Gareth challenged after he got over the shock, arms crossed over his chest as they stood in the centre of the tracks. He didn't like how playful Gareth sounded, and then again, he liked it at the same time.

He mumbled the name quietly, but was annoyed at how Gareth leaned forward, teasing him to speak louder.

"Amy Harris, okay?" He said sharply, but the laugh that caught in his throat distorted the irritation. "She was so pretty, majorly out of my league, but that didn't stop me from trying. It was one shambles of a date and she dumped me. April actually reminded me of her, I guess that's why I had a thing for her at the start, it just reminded of what Amy was like...not the whole knife thing, but still."

He reminisced of those high school days, not the acne and hormones and just the worst headaches ever, but how Amy was this popular prom queen country girl that just made him stutter something chronic. She was so far out of his league, and yet he couldn't stop trying to get her attention. It worked somehow, and for that moment he felt on top of the world. And then everything came crashing down as she dumped him, didn't even give a real reason.

_"I just can't be having a relationship while also looking after my sister."_

That was all she had said, and the way she spoke about this mystery sister was as if she wished she didn't have one at all. It was something that was over in seconds, and so never really felt he needed to mention it. That was, until now.

"And there was me, always believing you were secretly queer."

"Shut up."

"And I'd love you all the same, idiot." Gareth laughed, prodding his brother's arm. Silence engulfed them for a time, stood poised out in the open until Gareth motioned it was probably time to get to the houses before heading back to the cabin that was the meeting point. Especially as the sky above them seemed to darken, the threat of rain adamant.

As they walked, Gareth found himself suddenly unaware of so much about his brother, this secret crush that actually evolved into a first date was something he was supposed to know, supposed to tease him about in their youth, not in the middle of an apocalypse.

And then his mind wandered. It wandered back to when April had spoke about her family, those many months ago when the two had been collecting wooden sticks for a fire.

_"Andrea, Amy and April...you're family like the letter **A** a little too much?"_

It couldn't possibly be the same Amy. There were many girls named Amy. But Alex had mentioned the resemblance between the two.

"Did Amy ever mention anything about her sister?" Gareth enquired tentatively, finding it puzzled Alex a little. They had walked a bit further before Alex actually replied, shrugging his shoulders as he did so.

"Not much, just about how she'd been difficult. I think she mentioned drugs once or twice, only weed, but still it worried her a lot." He said, not sounding too sure himself, then he turned to Gareth with such suspicion that it was difficult to remain oblivious. "Why?"

"Just curious." He shrugged, but inside he felt so guilty. It could still be no connection at all, and he was just overthinking things and trying to deduct what there didn't need to be deducted. Even so, April had told the alcohol story, and said about being a problem child. Maybe. Maybe there could have been a time when Alex could have met April before everything, a time when _he_ could have met her before everything.

It was pointless to speculate what could have been, but still it nagged at his mind what life would have been like. Who knew, maybe they could have changed each other back then, become a couple before the outbreak. It was surreal how they had nearly been connected but had just fallen short, he honestly wondered how things would have been if things had gone in a different way.

He supposed, timing meant everything now.

Gareth was disheartened by the sensation of droplets bouncing off of his head. It was going to be a dreary day indeed.

* * *

><p>"You're the one that said <em>in a few hours<em>, not me."

"Yeah, I know."

"If we have to, we'll say something about going further up to see which places we haven't yet scavenged."

"They won't believe that. It's too risky. We'll just have to try and come out later or even tomorrow morning."

Gareth inwardly cursed.

The houses had been as derelict as ever, no sign of anyone, no food or resources that could have made the failure a little sweeter, just the truth that there was nothing left to scavenge. Food really was becoming a problem, a problem they needed to sort out and fast.

It didn't help that they were also soaked through, the rain growing heavier as they searched the line of houses, the same ones where they had celebrated April's birthday three months before. The houses hadn't changed much since then, true they lost a few Cold Body residents, but seemed to gain them too as even the dead things followed the tracks, rather ominous and disconcerting. It was all for nothing, not a sign of another living person, or even a body to compensate.

Gareth wasn't afraid to not hide the relief of that second option.

The two brothers were walking at a fast pace in between the naked trees, memorising the pathway that lead to a shambolic excuse of cabin on the outskirts of Terminus. It was where The Spotters usually met up if they were separated, seeing as it was close to home in case anything went bad or they needed to refuel their ammunition or food alike.

It was a tired thing, the log-work damp and shrouded in vibrant green moss and crawling with millions of tiny wood-eating critters. Now the moss was infested with raindrops and dew, the patter of the water hitting the logs was similar to that of a machine gun.

The two appeared out of the trees, only to find Mark and Cynthia shaken as they paced outside on the cabin's porch. As Gareth walked closer, he witness a trickle of fresh blood flow from a cut on the side of Mark's forehead, the injury not too damaging, but with how his face scrunched distastefully, it was obviously painful.

"What happened?" Gareth demanded, complete authority-mode as his eyes glared between Cynthia and Mark, Mark sitting begrudgingly on the porch like some grounded teen. Then again, he was still a teen himself, it was easy to forget that with the knife strapped to his side.

Cynthia sighed in relief, rushing forward as words flew out of her mouth.

"We turned up and were waiting for you two when...when Mark decided to wait inside the cabin because of the rain. We heard a yell and found him on the floor." Cynthia explained hysterically, having stuttered a few things made it harder for Gareth to follow. He understood the gist of it, looking down to find Mark's expression was more of hurt pride than pain.

"And?" Gareth urged impatiently.

Cynthia swallowed, fingers fumbling together like some school girl. It was strange behaviour from her, that was what made Gareth the most concerned of what was going on, she was never this hysterical over anything.

"Martin and Theresa went in, but they haven't come out yet. I think...I think it's a person." She finally spilled. Gareth's stomach dropped. He instantly pushed past Cynthia, eyes targeting the splintered cabin door as he bounded onto the porch and very nearly shoved Mark out of his way. He slammed the door open, eyes scanning, but only to fall on Theresa and Martin as their heads snapped up to him in alarm.

He looked down to where they had been staring before, their bodies obscuring the person who had caused so much distress. He walked forward carefully, boots heavy on the wooden floorboards as his eyes never left the person who was sitting with their back firmly against the wall, legs outstretched as their wrists were bound with what looked like a car seatbelt.

Theresa placed a hand on his arm, concerned by his dark features, unable to understand why he was so quiet. The moisture of the absorbed rain water squelched against her hand, droplets dripping off of his jacket and his hair alike. Martin on instinct moved out of his way, and in the split second a gasp caught in his throat.

Blood was everywhere: over hands, hair, arms, clothes. It was as if they had been drenched in the crimson liquid. Cuts and bruises marked the flesh that wasn't covered by trousers or sleeves, knuckles a blackened purple, crusted with dried blood. The face had somehow remained unharmed, granted there was still a blood splatter, but it was so easily recognisable that there was no denying.

He crouched down carefully, worried that his legs would give way but found they were relatively steady. Gingerly, he placed a hand comfortingly over the bound bruised ones, finding they were somehow still a familiar softness. The dampness that had befallen his hands jolted the person alert, head slowly lifting up as seaweed green eyes were dulled with pain.

He couldn't contain the smile that leapt onto his face. Or the laugh that escaped his throat. Or the tingle that sparked in his fingers that gently rubbed the purplish bruises.

"It's me. It's me." He repeated softly, but the face that studied him held doubt.

He steadily lifted the bound hands up to his face, allowing the delicate fingers and thumbs to brush against the bristled hairs, finding it left tiny electric shocks with every place it touched. The fingers now glistening with the water that had obscured his face.

"It's _me_."

He witnessed the green brighten little by little, and yet it still held doubt. Whether this doubt was inflicted because she believed somebody else was pretending to be him or him being an hallucination of her own design he wasn't sure of, but it meant she needed more reassurance.

"When we first met in a garage. You were trying to grab that damn bag that belonged to your sister. I was trying to help you escape but instead you bit my hand."

She still didn't look convinced.

He knew what he had to do.

In one fell swoop he removed the seatbelt from around her wrists, hearing the shuffling of awkward feet behind him as he did so. When her hands were free, he lifted one of his own hands, and although the marks were gone, it was no denying it was the hand that had held those bite marks.

"You're stuck with me, Barbie." He huffed a laugh. It seemed like an eternity of silence before hands sharply clawed around his neck, almost knocking him off balance as she pounced on him. He instantly wrapped his arms around her (not caring if his dampened clothes only made her colder), stroking her blood-caked blonde hair as he shushed her quietly. He felt her body shudder as she cried, it ached his heart as he held her tighter, believing it was the only thing he could do.

"If you did this-" He rumbled darkly.

"No I swear man, we found her like this." Martin instantly replied, and although nervousness laced his tone, Gareth could sense it wasn't because of hurting April. He was scared of _him_. He didn't want him to be scared but it true honesty he needed him to be. They needed to know their place, he'd let them be as reckless as they wanted before. It had to change. He didn't want The Spotters believing they could do as they pleased because that was _not_ the case.

Maybe this _council_ was a good idea after all.

The contemplation entered the back of his mind as he focused on the shivering form in his arms. He couldn't move, paralysed by her fear that radiated onto him. What also entered the back of his mind, was anger towards the people that had done this, knowing it must have been the same people as the ones Aidan had tried to communicate. He wouldn't act on that anger. Revenge was costly. He didn't have the resources to spare.

If they stayed away from Terminus he would leave them alone. Attempt to overthrow it and then there would be loss on both sides, one if Gareth could help it. He was not going to let Terminus be destroyed, not now, not _ever_.

"It's okay now. I'm here. Aidan is at Terminus. Alex is outside. You don't have to afraid." He comforted slowly. Finding that April began to shudder less and less as she nudged her head into the crook of his neck, her breath warm against the skin. He really wanted his heart to slow the rapid beating.

"Holy shit..."

Gareth heard Alex swore, also hearing his heavy footsteps slowly edge towards them until Alex stood at the side of Gareth's peripheral vision. He was as bewildered and shocked as ever, eyes bulging, and he hadn't even seen the true state she was in. The brothers shared an empathetic stare of nurture.

Alex nodded his head before standing up again.

"Okay, I need you and Martin to take Mark back to Terminus to sort that cut out. Tell Cynthia to come in here before you go, she's good with people." He instructed, Martin and Theresa sharing an unsure glance for a second before marching out of the cabin. Alex joined the embracing two again, eyes intently watching April as a hand gripped Gareth's shoulder.

"Good to see you, blondie." He said softly with a very thin smile, April having to use a trembling hand to move the manic hair that obscured her view. Red raw circles stained around her eyes, accompanied by tears even though the smallest broken smile crackled on her lips.

Which was likely due to how his curls were so drenched with water, he resembled a drowned rat.

"_You have no idea how happy I am to see you two_." She choked, head lifting up to look at Gareth with those damaged little irises. His brown was such a comforting sight, they glimmered with a tear, an _actual_ tear. He sniffed as he pushed a few strands behind her ear, the squelching of the blood not even coherent in his ears. He just saw her face.

"Its okay." He whispered, unsure of who he was actually trying to convince. He pressed a kiss on her forehead, where the blood didn't stain as he let the single tear fall from his eye. Even when he pulled away, he gently rested his forehead against hers. His eyes closed as he breathed her in, felt her aura, felt her shallow breathing and the beating of her heart.

"_Don't leave me again_."


End file.
